Juana Molina used to be a comedian in her native Argentina. Then she dropped the comedian shtick, and between 1996 and today, she put out a couple of homemade solo albums that were delicate, whispery, and bubbling with electronics. They were very well received and, no, they are not comedy albums. What? Is that a problem for you? Are you disappointed? Did you expect something else?

Juana’s gonna be bringing her decidedly un-funny music to the unwashed American masses this February with her first-ever full-band U.S. tour. She’ll likely be playing a bunch of songs from her 2008 Domino Records release Un Día (which made #16 on our year-end favorites list), and maybe if we’re really, really lucky, she’ll play “The Chanukah Song.”

Tour Dates For Juana Molina:
02.09.09 - Bellingham, WA - Nightlight Lounge
02.10.09 - Seattle, WA - Triple Door
02.11.09 - Portland, OR - Lol's Room
02.13.09 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall
02.14.09 - Santa Cruz, CA - Rio Theatre
02.15.09 - Santa Barbara, CA - SOHO Restaurant And Music Club
02.17.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour
02.20.09 - Minneapolis, MN - Whole Music Club
02.21.09 - Madison, WI - Der Rathskellar
02.22.09 - Chicago, IL - Morse Theatre
02.23.09 - Newport, KY - Southgate House
02.24.09 - Cleveland Heights, OH - Grog Shop
02.26.09 - Cambridge, MA - Brattle Theatre
02.27.09 - New York, NY - Le Poisson Rouge
02.28.09 - Arlington, VA - Iota Club And Cafe
03.01.09 - Philadelphia, PA - World Cafe

I felt a great disturbance in the YouTubiforce, as if millions of Twilight fans cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced… I fear something copyright-infringible has happened…

Okey dokey, here’s what the fuck’s up, internet. All ya’ll YouTube frequentin’, inane iMovie video montage makin’, Twilight obsessin’, Kristen Bell mentally undressin’ motherfunkers better get ready for the big pain, ‘cuz not only does every single person with a functioning parietal lobe think your fan videos are stupid, so does YouTube itself.

Actually, that was out of line. YouTube doesn’t hate your movies that much. I even assume Steve Chen and Chad Hurley stipulated in their initial business plan that moronic fan tributes to Final Fantasy would likely account for half their server space. The real villain here, as always, are the big, fat, Goo Goo Dolls-hating record companies. For awhile, YouTube’s policy ran parallel with the record companies’ party line -- if the corporations discovered a video illegally utilizing one of their rightfully-owned songs, YouTube would automatically remove the video and pretend like there had never been an honest and heartfelt tribute to Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Cantina set to “Iris” (I’ll never forgive you for that, YouTube).

But now YouTube has changed its tune. Instead of removing the video altogether, the site will first warn you about your dastardly copyright infringement, then suggest you either remove the music from your video and keep it online or change the audio entirely with a song from YouTube’s “library of pre-cleared music.” Oh, the glorious options! This policy most likely acts as a harbinger for a broad (and profitable) elimination of all possible infringing content.

Whatever -- as long as it gets rid of at least a few of these Naruto + Nickelback tributes, I’ll be glad.

Four Big Hands and Two Hearts Pumping Blood: John Darnielle & John Vanderslice Take On the World

We are in tumultuous times. Our economy’s in the toilet; we’re in the middle of two awful wars; and we’ve just inaugurated a new president who hopefully will do something about both these things. Thankfully, yesterday, a shining beacon of hope emerged, indicating that the world is slowly being restored to order, that we will emerge from this darkness, that it will be paradise when we see the light:

JOHN DARNIELLE AND JOHN VANDERSLICE ARE TOURING TOGETHER!

I can’t really do justice to how goddamn excited I am about this, and I also can’t announce the tour in a way superior to the words John Darnielle used to announce it on The Mountain Goats’ website:

We are going to light out for the Territories in a van with two acoustic guitars, some notebooks, our soundman Brandon and a pouch full of charms against ill omen. We are going to get elemental. We are going to stomp our feet and hammer at the strings until we get what we want from them. We, a couple of guys named John, are going to tour, is what we're going to do.

Amen to that. This does nothing to disprove my theory that John Darnielle is actually God in (a very thin) disguise.

John Squared:
03.18.09 - Asheville, NC - the Grey Eagle
03.20.09 - Norfolk, VA - the Atticus Theatre
03.21.09 - Washington, DC - Sixth and I Synagogue
03.24.09 - Northampton, MA - Pearl Street
03.25.09 - Somerville, MA - the Sommerville Theatre
03.27.09 - New York, NY - Society for Ethical Culture (Wordless Music series)
03.29.09 - Gambier, OH - Kenyon College
03.30.09 - Oberlin, OH - Oberlin College
04.01.09 - Chicago, IL - Epiphany Episcopal
04.02.09 - Champaign, IL - Courtyard Café at University of Illinois
04.03.09 - Iowa City, IA - the Mill (Mission Creek Music Festival)
04.04.09 - Richmond, IN - Earlham College
04.06.09 - Bloomington IN - Buskirk-Chumley Theater

[Photo: Mark Van S.]

Sony Finally Realizes That No One Is Buying Music Anymore, Begins Layoffs

According to several reports, Sony Music Entertainment began layoffs last week, cutting at least 30 people from its two distribution companies: Red and Sony Global Digital Business And U.S. Sales. Although the recession has been going on for quite some time now, apparently the folks at Sony still thought that someone out there was spending money on CDs. Haven’t you been paying attention, Sony? Even Best Buy is selling vinyl now (TMT News).

Sony’s Columbia Records has also hopped aboard the layoff train, cutting people like urban marketing executive Al Branch and the president of urban music, Kyambo “Hip Hop” Joshua. Damn, his nickname is really “Hip Hop,” and he worked in urban music? Originality at its finest.

Akron/Family Set ‘Em Wild, Set ‘Em Free On New Album And Tour

How Akron/Family plan to live up to the name of their new album, Set ‘Em Wild, Set ‘Em Free, on their upcoming tour:

Setting It Wild:

- The tour will be a series of intimate residencies in New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, with multiple nights at smaller venues than Akron/Family would normally play.
- On their tour last fall, Akron/Family created “cacophonous onstage jams” with openers Megafaun and The Dodos; and at their Emo’s show last year, they led the audience and 20 additional musicians in a shirtless sing-a-long parade throughout the streets of Austin. I don’t know about you, but those facts alone are getting me pumped for this tour.

Setting It Free:

- Can you say “hand-picked openers”? Each night of the tour will feature guest musicians joining Akron/Family on stage, creating a unique experience for the audience each night.
- The new album will be Akron/Family’s first record since Ryan Vanderhoof departed last fall, making it their official debut as a trio.

Set ‘Em Wild, Set ‘Em Free is due out on Dead Oceans on May 5.
03.06.09 - San Francisco, CA - Hemlock Tavern
03.07.09 - San Francisco, CA - Hemlock Tavern @
03.08.09 - San Francisco, CA - Hemlock Tavern
03.10.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Steve Allen Theatre
03.11.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Steve Allen Theatre
03.12.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Steve Allen Theatre
03.17.09 - Denver, CO - Oriental Theatre
03.18.09 - Austin,TX - SXSW
03.22.09 - Hamilton, ON - The Casbah
03.23.09 - Toronto, ON - Sneaky Dees &
03.24.09 - Toronto, ON - Sneaky Dees &
03.25.09 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore &
03.26.09 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore &
03.27.09 - New York City, NY - The New Museum
03.28.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Union Pool
03.29.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Union Pool

& Born Ruffians

@ Citay

[Photo: Sebastian Mlynarski]

Mango Starr’s Tour Roundup: Deerhunter, Emeralds/Pain Jerk, Max Tundra

Who says I can't copy Mario Speedwagon's "Under the Radar News Roundup"?

- I'm going to start this tour roundup with a tour cancellation: Deerhunter, whose 2008 album Microcastle/Weird Era Cont. (TMT Review) landed at our not-so-coveted #1 spot on our Favorite Albums of 2008 list, have canceled their upcoming European tour. Originally slated to begin in Prague February 11 and last until mid-March, the tour was canceled due to "unspecified health reasons." Deerhunter are still scheduled to play the ATP Fest May 15-17 and plan to reschedule the European dates shortly, so don't you cry-ee-eye t'night.

- And how about some more European tour news?? Drone trio Emeralds and Japanese noise legend Paink Jerk are touring Europe as you read this. They've brought with them a limited-to-500-edition CD, inappropriately titled European Tour 2009, which features one track from each act. You can also get it from Second Layer Records. Meanwhile, Emeralds have a new album, What Happened, coming out on No Fun Productions, which follows their Hanson release from last year, Solar Bridge (TMT Review).

- Last week, Max Tundra played his first two New York shows EVER (review forthcoming). This week -- actually, today -- he kicks off a UK/Ireland tour in support of last year's Parallax Error Beheads You (TMT Review). I think Tippex put it best: "All the teenage girls of the country should have a poster of him in their bedrooms."