Sometimes I forget I’m following Kanye West on Twitter. Occasionally I’ll think to myself, “Hmm, haven’t heard anything from Kanye lately. I guess I must’ve finally decided to unfollow him late one drunken night” (because duh, why else would I make such a misinformed decision, unless under the influence of MIND-ALTERING CHEMICALS). Then lo! Hark! What this? An ALL CAPS rant from Kanye — most recently directed at Jimmy Kimmel — and I’m like “Oh yeah, I am still following this guy.” Well, Universal Music wants to make sure fans of good old-fashioned vinyl records never unfollow Kanye — in their hearts, I mean. Thusly, they’re giving Kanye’s 2008 album 808s and Heartbreak the ALL CAPS equivalent of the record release game: the vinyl reissue. Diamond-encrusted vinyl with previously unreleased tracks and a pull-out booklet with intro by Byron Coley? Nah, probably not. So in reality, it’s really more of a “some caps, some wingdings”-style reissue.
“WHY?” Perhaps you’re asking yourself this right now. “WHY ARE THEY REISSUING THIS ALBUM THAT CAME OUT FIVE YEARS AGO. IT’S NOT LIKE IT EVER WENT AWAY.” Well, because, ye of little faith, Universal wants your money. Nah, J/K! They want you to Respect the Classics, as is the name of their vinyl reissue campaign of releasing remastered versions of “iconic, genre-defining albums,” starting with the October 22 release of DMX’s It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot (gold vinyl, what) and Flesh of My Flesh Blood of My Blood (clear vinyl with blood splatters, whaaaaaaaaat I’m sorry excuse me, my hearing trumpet must be outta whack whaaaaat). The series will continue with releases from 50 Cent, Slick Rick, and Public Enemy this year. Yeezy’s album release is yet TBD, probably because it takes a while to gather all that silky silky unicorn hair that will be pressed into the 24 karat gold vinyl.