Lil B has released a classical album, so feign surprise for the next four minutes and then go on with your life

Lil B has released a classical album, so feign surprise for the next four minutes and then go on with your life http://www.tinymixtapes.com/sites/default/files/news-12-05-lil-b.jpg

This is a Lil B news story, so everybody prepare to assume appropriate roles. Inevitably, the story is ridiculous. There is no reason to report on normal Lil B releases, as the situation of a Lil B release coming out is considerably more common than the situation of a Lil B release not coming out. With that said, everyone sit down and settle in for something surprising that you don’t quite expect but that you still sort of expect anyway. This is your life now. Alright, we good? Good.

As FACT reports, Lil B is releasing a classical music album. What! Gasp! Shock. I am surprised. Fine, I can’t say I could have ever predicted this, but still, we’re all used to not predicting things anymore, right? Right. Point is, the album is called Choices and Flowers and it’s out now. Technically, it’s not a Lil B album by the strictest sense of the word. It’s actually listed as “The Basedgod” (though Lil B is listed as executive producer), but we all know who the Based God is, so Lil B’s not fooling ANYBODY. Unlike the majority of Lil B releases, Choices and Flowers actually costs money. Maybe that’s just how this totally separate entity The Basedgod rolls, though! Anyway, you can give iTunes money for the record right here.

Choices and Flowers tracklist:

01. Made the Right Choice
02. Lessons from the Wind
03. Walking Through Berkeley
04. My Mistakes
05. New York I’m Home
06. Where Are You Going
07. Lost in the Sky of Love
08. Save the Animals
09. Happy to Live
10. What Came First Are We Alive
11. Tokyo
12. Tribute to Lil B
13. At the Zoo With Mom
14. Dreams Are Real
15. Exhale With Love in Your Chest
16. Wooden Hotel
17. Welcome to America

• Lil B: http://www.basedworld.com

M.I.A. signs with Jay-Z’s Roc Nation, plans collaboration with Jay-Z’s baby

Just like Billy Kidman in the 90s, M.I.A. has announced that she will be joining the flock and has signed on with Jay-Z’s Roc Nation management company, joining other artists like Santigold, Wale, Shakira, Jay Electronica, and everyone’s favorite Battleshipper, Rihanna.

According to industry gossip and my Roc Nation insider, M.I.A.’s deal is only for management and shout-outs from Jay, and does not include publishing, distribution, or the chance to see Beyoncé naked while yachting. In fact, M.I.A., or as I call her, “my boo,” is still a part of Interscope Records and, despite a seeming lack of activity, is still maintaining her own label through Interscope, N.E.E.T. Recordings.

Only The Future will tell us exactly what label M.I.A.’s next album will be released on (which she is working on and is tentatively titled Kid Midnight Is a Great Lover and/or Matangi) but at least for now we know that Jay-Z will be quietly and powerfully shaping the future for Maya Arulpragasam.

• M.I.A.: http://www.miauk.com
• Roc Nation: http://rocnation.com

How to Dress Well announces new album Total Loss, nervously anticipates Tim Gunn’s evaluation

Like the voice of a lonely, shipwrecked ghost rising up through the coral reefs and the swirling turquoise waters and frolicking gaggles of sexy, sultry mermaids (note: NOT seapunk mermaids; they are totally rad, enchanting mermaids) comes the latest single from How to Dress Well, and appropriately, it’s entitled “Ocean Floor for Everything.” Check it out at the Chocolate Grinder. These textures and harmonies are so thoughtfully laid, it’s like you can practically see dude’s future philosophy degree in there, schooling merbabes on Socrates, Nietzsche, and yeah, that’s right, the philosophy of L-O-V-E. Because Tom Krell — the talented gent behind How to Dress Well — isn’t just about fine fine smooth melodies. Nope, he’s a songwriter, a producer, and — no joke — a grad student in philosophy.

Krell’s a busy man as well as a smart one. After How to Dress Well’s debut album Love Remains (TMT Review) started lighting up the blogosphere™, Krell went on to release last year’s Just Once EP, a special orchestral course in sensual seduction, the proceeds of which were directed towards raising awareness about mental illness. Now Chicago’s Acéphale label has picked up How to Dress Well and will be releasing his latest, Total Loss, this fall. How to Dress Well will be hitting select North American cities on tour this June.

Dates:

06.05.12 - New York, NY - TBD
06.07.12 - Toronto, ON - The Drake
06.08.12 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore
06.09.12 - Brooklyn, NY - Public Assembly
06.13.12 - Vancouver, BC - Waldorf Hotel
06.14.12 - Portland, OR - Holocene
06.15.12 - San Francisco, CA - Rickshaw Stop
06.16.12 - Los Angeles, CA - The Echo
06.23.12 - Calgary, AB - Sled Island Festival

• How to Dress Well: http://howtodresswell.blogspot.com
• Acéphale: http://acephale.bigcartel.com

Mastodon head to Europe for Festival of the Mastodon, discover that no such thing exists, play at other festivals instead

Break in half the swine, the Festival of the Mastodon has arrived! Much as we do every year, we drink the mead and burn the fire bright, in order to pay tribute to the hefty beast. Take my hand, brother, it is time to rejoice. Slap! That’s me slapping your hand! You idiot, the Festival of the Mastodon isn’t a real thing! Mastodons are dead and they ain’t never coming back. Only backwoods country rubes believe in the Festival of the Mastodon. Yeah, only real… oh. Hi, Mastodon, the metal band from Atlanta, Georgia who put out The Hunter (TMT Review) via Reprise in 2011! What are you guys doing here? Here for the… oh. The Festival of the Mastodon. Yeah. Well… um… about that. It… doesn’t exist.

Now that Mastodon have thrashed me into pulp, as aided by their impressive neck tattoos, they’re off to Europe. Some would say they’re looking for the true Festival of the Mastodon. Shame, since, Europe or no Europe, that’s still just a thing I made up. Ah well, they’ll be okay; I hear they’re going to play a million other festivals instead. Honestly, they’re playing so many European festivals, it appears that they will eventually run out of Europe and be forced to play a pair of Canadian festivals. Godspeed, you lovable titans.

Mastodon dates:

05.25.12 - Lisbon, Portugal - Bela Vista Park (Rock in Rio Lisbon)
05.26.12 - Madrid, Spain - Getafe Sonisphere
05.27.12 - Landgraaf, Holland - Pinkpop Festival
05.28.12 - Werchter, Belgium - Boutique Festival
05.30.12 - Yverdon, Switzerland - Sonisphere at Rives du Lac
06.01.12 - Bavaria, Germany - Rock in Park Clubstage
06.02.12 - Nurburgring, Germany - Rock Am Ring Clubstage
06.03.12 - Warsaw, Poland - Ursynalia Festival
06.06.12 - Horsens, Denmark - Open Air
06.07.12 - Sölvesborg, Sweden - Sweden Rock Festival
06.08.12 - Zagreb, Croatia - Rokaj Festival
06.09.12 - Muenster, Germany - Vainstream Festival
06.10.12 - Nickelsdorf, Austria - Nova Rock Festival
06.13.12 - Bergen, Norway - Bergen Calling
06.15.12 - Copenhagen, Denmark - Copenhall Festival
06.16.12 - Gothenburg, Sweden - Metaltown
06.17.12 - Seinäjoki, Finland - Provinssirock
06.19.12 - Tallinn, Estonia - Rock Cafe
06.20.12 - Riga, Latvia - Palladium
06.23.12 - Roeser, Luxembourg - Rock A Field Festival
06.24.12 - Eindhoven, Holland - Effenaar
06.25.12 - Amsterdam, Holland - Melkweg Max
06.27.12 - Rome, Italy - Atlantico
06.29.12 - Werchter, Belgium - Rock
06.30.12 - Belfort, France - Eurokennes
07.14.12 - Ottawa, ON - Ottawa Bluesfest
07.15.12 - Quebec, QC - Festival D’Ete Quebec
08.25.12 - Reading, UK - Reading Festival
08.26.12 - Leeds, UK - Leeds Festival

• Mastodon: http://www.mastodonrocks.com
• Reprise: http://www.warnerbrosrecords.com

Yeasayer announce new album; text your punchlines to this headline to TMT-ZINE-5-24!

For the last time, David Byrne, you’re not just imagining that Yeasayer exists. They are a totally, 100%, FOR REAL band. A band that some people listen to. They consist of three humans who record new-wave-ish, bliss-pop records and then tour those records around the world. Yes, yes, just like you do, and just like Talking Heads did; but this is different. Separate. They even released their newest single, Henrietta, on PHYSICAL CDs that they mailed to 200 “random fans” and encouraged them to share it. They have a press release that I just read that say that this is an “organic viral method” of getting their music out there, “direct to fans.” See? Physical, organic, REAL. Real band. NOT a figment of your creative imagination, however prodigious and powerful it may be. You need to accept this.

If that’s not enough evidence for you, how about the fact that they also just announced a very real release date for their definitely very real new album, the follow-up to 2010’s Odd Blood, Fragrant World? No, that’s not a made-up title. It’s really coming out. On August 21. On Secretly Canadian! Sorry to be getting so worked here, but your disbelief is starting to frustrate me. So, before our session is up, let me be clear about this: you definitely didn’t create Yeasayer in your subconscious, record this new album in your sleep, put it out through Secretly Canadian, and book US and European shows this summer to promote it. That’s just completely preposterous. Completely preposterous, I say. I’m a doctor.

Fragrant World tracklist:

01. Fingers Never Bleed
02. Longevity
03. Blue Paper
04. Henrietta
05. Devil and the Deed
06. No Bones
07. Reagan’s Skeleton
08. Demon Road
09. Damaged Goods
10. Folk Hero Shtick
11. Glass of the Microscope

Yeasayer:

06.19.12 - Richmond, VA - The National
06.20.12 - Asheville, NC - The Orange Peel
06.21.12 - Knoxville, TN - Bijou Theatre
06.22.12 - Nashville, TN - The Cannery Ballroom
06.23.12 - Louisville, KY - Headliners Music Hall
06.24.12 - Cincinnati, OH - 20th Century Theatre
07.02.12 - Vienna, Austria - Szene
07.04.12 - Gdynia, Poland - Heineken Open’er Festival
07.07.12 - Bruges, Belgium - Cactus Festival
07.08.12 - Lieges, Belgium - Les Ardentes
07.09.12 - Utrecht, Holland - Tivoli De Heling
07.13.12 - Norfolk, England - Latitude
07.15.12 - Grafenhainichen, Germany - Melt Festival
08.03.12 - Montreal, QC - Osheaga Festival

• Yeasayer: http://www.myspace.com/yeasayer
• Secretly Canadian: http://www.secretlycanadian.com

The Flaming Lips play eight shows in one day??!!!!??!!!! What a buncha weirdos!!!!!!!!

Wayne Coyne wants to know what it would be like to play a show at a strip joint in Mississippi at four in the morning. He might find out on June 27, and so will everyone else who catches MTV’s stream of The Flaming Lips’ jaunt from Memphis to New Orleans.

I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Jeez, Caroline, don’t you know I’ve already seen Wayne Coyne run around in a giant plastic bubble and shout through a megaphone? I’ve got a season of Pete and Pete to watch.”

Consider this, whippersnapper: according to the good folks at Consequence of Sound, The Flaming Lips are out to break the record for the most shows played in a 24-hour period. Jay-Z set the record back in 2006 by playing seven shows in seven different cities. Wayne Coyne and company are up for eight.

And you’re thinking, “Seriously? Only eight? I thought Wayne Coyne was some crazy shoot-for-the-stars type of guy. Shouldn’t The Lips be aiming for like 50 shows?”

Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Even Wayne Coyne thinks this shit is absurd, and considering that he puts out records containing collaborators’ blood, that’s saying something.

• The Flaming Lips: http://www.flaminglips.com