Love of Diagrams Tour Today, Tomorrow, and Everyday, Starting Feb 26 and Ending May 5

One of the most useful, most common type of model is a free-form diagram. Yet they rarely seem to be recognized as an 'official' diagram type, perhaps because it's difficult to set free-form modeling standards or convince you that you need an expensive tool to create them -- whiteboards work just fine, thank you. Figure 1 depicts a free-form diagram of the technical architecture for Australian group Love of Diagrams. I regularly see whiteboard drawing like this at clients as well as depicted in architecture books (although these diagrams are usually drawn with a tool such as Matador to make them look pretty). This diagram shows the architectural layering software components such as the business rule and security engines, middleware such as web services and the message bus, and hardware nodes such as the mainframe and application servers. A mishmash of information that would likely require several LoD diagrams to capture, LoD component diagrams and LoD deployment diagrams come to mind, yet this single sketch seems to communicate the architectural landscape for your system nicely.

Figure 1. A free-form architecture diagram.

Oh, and the above diagram is touring with Ted Leo around the April 10 release date of its album, Mosaic:

XM and Sirius Officially Announce Wedding

Our ol' pal Kevin Martin, FCC Chairman and closet Toots & The Maytals freak, promised America on bended knee last month that a merger between XM and Sirius was a no go. "America, it's a no go," he said. FCC regulations were in place when satellite radio first started up that would prohibit a merger, and there fundamentally could not be "one entity owning both of those licenses."

And now, here we are, stuffed with President's Day falafel and doffing our fedoras to a beautiful new $13 billion merger between XM and Sirius. How did this happen? Will the FCC really let this slide? Did you see Britney's new 'do???? XM shareholders will now receive 4.6 shares of Sirius stock for each share of XM as a consolation prize for no longer having any say in the direction of satellite radio. "This combination is the next logical step in the evolution of audio entertainment," Sirius CEO Mel Karmazin beamed. "Together, our best-in-class management team and programming content will create unprecedented choice for consumers, while creating long-term value for shareholders of both companies." When the number of satellite radio choices decreases to one, children, it is only then that the limitless choices will reveal themselves!

The monster company (XiriuM?) promises to increase the number of programming and content choices as well as other high-tech sorcery, yet one can't help but worry that the complete lack of competition will render such decisions needless in the future. Listeners are already concerned by a proposed schedule that replaces the all-'80s station with a 30-second repeating loop of Kevin Martin imitating Tommy Lee Jones in Batman Forever. But seriously, people. Wake up. They're takin' over, and they're doing it wielding daggers made of cash and boredom.

ADULT. Are Nice Enough To Give You A New LP & Tour

Detroit is known for a lot of things. Dubious distinctions like being one of the most dangerous cities in the USA, having a horrible professional football team, a worse Mayor, and a willingness to let "developers" "develop" historic buildings into parking lots (fuck you, Ilitch). On the positive side, the city has produced truly great artists in genres like [?R&B], [?Rock 'N' Roll], and [?Electronica]. In the made-up (by me) genre of Discordant 'n' Electro 'n' Tense 'n' Punk, one of the greats has to be ADULT. (all caps and the period every time, so get used to it). Adding punk elements to electronic music with a sly, sarcastic, and sexy energy has rarely been done better than how Detroit's own ADULT. do it.

Core members Adam Lee Miller and Nicola Kuperus have put out three full-length LPs under the ADULT. moniker since 2001, with their last, Gimme Trouble (TMT Review) being released by Thrill Jockey in 2005. The band have seen members come and go over the years, but with their upcoming fourth album, the self-produced Why Bother? (due March 20 on Thrill Jockey), the group is back to the original duo of Miller & Kuperus. The LP was written by M & K at their own Woodhouse Studios over a 4-month period and recorded in nearby Benton Harbor at the The Key Club Recording Co. in late October 2006. This marks the first time an ADULT. LP was recorded outside of Woodhouse. As the band told me, via-email, they feel that this record, more that their others, is the "most accurate culmination of our disordered hysteria."

When pressed (pretty hard, I am a professional after all), the band said the sound of WB? is "uneasy listening for uneasy times." They went on to explain that they are trying to "contextualize 'folk' for our intent and advocate the importance of being folk," clarifying further that "folk suggests a culture content to operate 'outside'; the place where we are most at ease." So, it's gonna sound like Devendra, MV+EE or James Taylor? Wrong. "With that explanation, this must be a folk record, but realistically it would probably be that kind of 'folk' that conjures up images of "Deliverance", "Motel Hell's" Farmer Vincent or Leatherface's family life."

The group will be performing live, as a duo, on a tour with Parts & Labor and Erase Errata in tow, set to begin in March.

Tracklist for Why Bother?:

Spector to (Finally) go to Trial; All-Knowing Judge Looks to Past for Inspiration and Chooses to Allow Trial to be (Finally) Televised

Americans are known for lots of things worldwide, most of them highly admirable. One of our best assets, in my white-as-Wonderbread opinion, is our ability to stick with what works. You won't find us Americans changing things around for sheer novelty, that's fer damn sure! Our motto is simple: If it ain't resulted in global chaos, don't fix it. For example, the US of iz-Ay is involved in a tiny lil' conflict overseas. We're smokin' the wacky Iraq-y! And, since the war has worked so WELL for us all the last few years, we're maintaining our presence there. See? We find something that works and we stick with it!!

The same thing goes for televising highly publicized murder trials. I mean, remember the OJ Simpson trial? Right, the one that you sandwiched between NYPD Blue and Ellen on Tuesday nights. Well, in case you can't remember, that trial ran EXTREMELY SMOOTHLY for everyone involved, mostly due to the fact it was televised! Remember how judge Ito acted all awkwardly authoritative because he knew he was on camera? Remember OJ's sly glances? Remember that reasonable, get-behind-able, and above all else, JUST verdict? Yeah, me too, it was great!!!

Seeing as it worked so AMAZINGLY in the past, another highly publicized murder trial will be televised: that of aging music-biz phenom Phil Spector. Anticipating ratings higher than Spector's blossoming afro — at least that's what we at TMT assume — California Superior Court Judge Larry Paul Fidler recently ordered that television coverage be allowed at the trial. And we're not talking about in-the-nosebleeds coverage; this is gavel-to-gavel bitch! AWESOME, right? It's like a Reality Show about Real People ... in Real-Life Courtroom with Real-Life Ass-Sucking Lawyers and (hopefully) another Real-Life Ito-In-The-Making judge and a potentially Too-Real-Life verdict. Hell, we even have a rich defendant that's almost certainly culpable! And now, thanks to the fact that he allegedly shot a woman in the face, Spector will be come TV's newest Reality TV Star! Let the games begin ...

When asked about his puzzling decision in lieu of the — in case you didn't pick up my latent sarcasm above — monumentally perverse Simpson trial, judge Fidler said, "We have to get by that case. There's going to come a time that it will be commonplace to televise trials. If it had not been for Simpson, we'd be there now." Again, I emphasize: This quote didn't come from a television executive, but a bona fide judge. Scratch that, a Superior Court judge!! Awww snap! Fidler also claims televising the Event will prove that celebrities are treated the same as anyone else in the Court of Law. [resume Sarcasm here] Because, you know, the four-year delay on Spector's trial is proof enough that celebrities get no handouts. And most importantly, Fidler On The Roof is gonna be a big star now! Wonder if he'll parlay this into a guest spot on The Girls Next Door? That show's so info-tainment-tastic!

The TMT crime lab has broken the case down to a few easy-to-understand fragments for those of you too STOOPID to know already: Phil Spector went out for a few drinks on Feb. 3, 2003. He tipped generously (or at least that's what the transcript of the pre-trial hearing indicated; see, they focus on the important stuff, remember) and ended up going home with a blonde bombshell named Lana Clarkson. They hung out, had a few drinks most likely. Then the darndest thing happened: Police were called by neighbors who heard gunshots. When the cops got to Spector's sprawling estate, they found something strange; it seemed Spector's guest had been shot square in the face!

Naturally they were going to let him go. Because, you know, he makes lots of money. Besides, he explained the whole thing to them (Direct quote: "I didn't mean to shoot her. It was an accident.")! God, who's policing the police these days anyway? Here they are wasting their time harrassing poor Phil Spector when they could be busting college kids for smokin' doobers or pulling me over for making too-wide a turn. MAN! I just don't understand shit like that ... Oh, and as it turns out, Spector allegedly has a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee little bit of history when it comes to guns and women and sex and such ... Nothing too damning really. I mean, so he pulled guns on several people. Pfffft. Could happen to anyone!

Jury selection is to begin March 19 ... get your tickets now because this is the only segment of the trial that is not to be televised.

I was in the supermarket yesterday, picking up some toilet paper. My local Sainsbury's, despite being a pretty small thing attached to a petrol station, seems to have a terrifying variety of the stuff. Like, a whole aisle. How much bog roll could one man need? I went for the own-brand stuff with the keen eye of a shrewd, informed customer -- cheap, probably as good as the quilted, scented crap, and six for the price of four. But they weren't letting me get away that easily -- oh, no. There were two varieties! Natural Forest or Pure White. I stood there for quite a while. I knew that it was utterly unimportant, but there was literally nothing to encourage me to choose one above the other.

Nothing whatsoever. I had no way of deciding.

So I phoned founding Mice Parade member Adam Pierce.

Me: Hey, man, what's up. Listen... I've got a bit of a problem. I'm just out picking up toilet paper, and I really can't decide which one to get.

Adam: Just pick up the own-brand stuff, dude. It's probably about as good as the quilted, scented crap.

Me: Yeah, but here's the thing -- there are two varieties! There's Natural Forest or Pure White. How the fuck am I meant to choose something like that? I mean, choosing one of them won't exactly affect my life in any way. Which do you think defines me as a person?

Adam: You do realize that this is a pretty sad indictment of our Western commodity-based society, and your place in it.

Me: Tell me about it.

Adam: What colors... the Natural Forest stuff?

Me: It's...kinda a peachy orange, I guess.

Adam: Not very foresty.

Me: Shit, man, I'm just buying the stuff.

Adam: I'm just saying.

Me: Alright. Well.

Adam: Hey, you know I'm releasing a new album in May? It's gonna be self-titled, and it continues my gorgeous pop odyssey that spans seven albums. I've lined up some great collaborators for this one, like Laetitia Sadier (Stereolab) on "Tales of Las Negras." Kristin Anna Valtysdottir (Müm, also a touring member of the Mice Parade live band from 2003-2006) lends her incredible grace to "Double Dolphins on the Nickel," complete with Icelandic verse. Other members of the live lineup appear on tracks like "Sneaky Red" and "Satchelaise," notably Doug Scharin (Rex, June of 44), Dylan Cristy (Dylan Group), Jay Israelson (Lansing-Dreiden), and Dan Lippel.

Me: Dude, are you just reading from the press release there?

Adam: Uh, no?

Me: Fuckin?? Help a dude out over here!

Adam: Alright, fine. What color's your bathroom?

Me: Yellow.

Adam: I'd get the forest stuff. That'd probably go pretty well. Probably get less bleach in it, too, if you care about that stuff.

Me: Hey, you're right! Cheers, dude.

Adam: Listen, how did you get this number, anyway?

Which is when I hung up. So anyway, I followed his advice and bought the Natural Forest toilet paper. And you know what the weird thing is? When I got back home and opened the first roll, on the first sheet was written:

"I knew you'd make the right choice." Ad x

That Adam Pierce is one weird motherfucker.

Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood Converts to Rastafarian Just in Time to Compile Trojan Records Collection

This be Jonny, the Radio-dre-head on the mobile sound system. Other soundbwoys are soft. Tro Jan! Even tho oim a foreigner, they give me dan dada status to compile sides for a collection. Oi spent a whole heap of time in the Trojan vaults pickin' the one drops for this record. I'm the notch. Nuh nuttin. Ya no see it? Oi may look uptown winjy with rank bullets in my mouth and me skinny tees but in me heart oim dread to the core. Oim no wolf, oim lion. This be rockers straight from Babylon from the head man. Don't be all hard ears with me. Oim the creation stepper here. Listen to me. This Trojan collection is fit. Everything is cook and curry. Oi don't need the funds...I sell millions with Radiohead. I see the wanti wanti can't get it, and the getti getti don't want it all the time. I help the wanti wanti to hear it. You know? Oim true to the reggae. Mash it up with crissars March 6 with Jonny Greenwood Is the Controller to the fullness on Trojan/Sanctuary. Light the lambsbread and listen to my sweet nanny goat compilation that has running belly of tracks. See you inna stadium lights. Jonny is the controller, sight?

1. Linval Thompson - "Dread Are the Controller"
2. Derrick Harriott - "Let Me Down Easy"
3. Marcia Aitken - "I'm Still in Love"
4. Gregory Isaacs - "Never Be Ungrateful"
5. Lee "Scratch" Perry - "Bionic Rats"
6. The Heptones - "Cool Rasta"
7. Scientist & Jammy & The Roots Radics - "Flash Gordon Meets Luke Skywalker"
8. Lee "Scratch" Perry & The Upsetters - "Black Panta"
9. Junior Byles - "Fever"
10. Desmond Dekker & The Aces - "Beautiful and Dangerous"
11. Lloyd's All Stars - "Dread Dub (It Dread Out Deh version)"
12. Marcia Griffiths - "Gypsy Man"
13. Johnny Clarke & The Aggrovators - "A Ruffer Version"
14. The Jahlights - "Right Road to Dubland (Right Road to Zion Dub)"
15. Junior Byles & Lee Perry - "Dreader Locks"
16. Delroy Wilson - "This Life Makes Me Wonder"
17. Scotty - "Clean Race"