NGUZUNGUZU roll off of tongues everywhere and into a venue near you

NGUZUNGUZU roll off of tongues everywhere and into a venue near you

Has the dehumanizing grind of working day in and day out at a job you don’t care about for a paycheck you know you’re just going to convert to double cheeseburgers got you down? Does the prospect of the future fill you with preemptive regret and the strange need to use the toilet? Well, just in time for summer blockbuster season, the American film industry has got your back. You see, NGUZUNGUZU (pronounced: en-gorz-oop-en-gorz-oop) are heading out on the road this June to get some “sick b-roll” for their recently announced coming-of-age dance movie, in which they will try to teach sad young professionals just like you the value of letting loose every once in a while. The plot reportedly revolves around a legless accountant’s chance encounter with a sexy wizard. The sexy wizard, played by Channing Tatum in drag, not only grows the legless accountant a whole new set of legs in her mystical Mason jars, but she also teaches him how to dance the mambo, and eventually becomes his wife!

Hippos in Tanks (pronounced: hurrpoz-en-trornks) are bankrolling the film project, which has been described as the “most aesthetically adventurous coming-of-age dance film since 2006’s Step Up.” The short tour will hit most of the major North American dance hotspots, including Twain, California and Vancouver (pronounced: vun-crubbard). Lace up your dancing shoes, downcast American workforce, Asma Maroof and Daniel Pineda are coming to your town to inject a little Tatummy skip into your step!


06.05.13 - Los Angeles, CA - Elevate
06.07.13 - Chicago, IL - Primary
06.14.13 - Vancouver, BC - Fortune Sounds Festival
06.16.13 - Seattle, WA - Barboa
06.22.13 - Twain, CA - Bounce Festival
06.29.13 - Miami, FL - Bardot

• Hippos in Tanks:

Thundercat readies Apocalypse LP on Brainfeeder, so apparently Francis Ford Coppola had the timing all wrong

Doing a verbal nod of the head to Robin Williams’ tremendous success as an actor and comedian, I feel it’s also important to acknowledge the qualities that might not have earned him fame but are an inextricable part of his story nonetheless. First, those hairy arms. Dedicated bodybuilders have nothing on Williams’ perpetual ability to lift those follicle-weighted limbs day-in and day-out. Second, “carpe diem.” Sure, some Roman, poetry-writing fairy might’ve coined the phrase over 2,000 years ago, but hardly anybody alive cares about that guy; people just recall Dead Poets Society (1989). Anyway, in case you haven’t seen it, the phrase translates to “seize the day” in English.

Elaborate segue: if you didn’t “seize the day” and catch the sometimes equally furry bass monster Thundercat on his most recent tour (with Flying Lotus and Teebs), then you’re almost certainly out of luck, now or in the future, when it comes to seeing him play in person. See, the Apocalypse is coming. Specifically, Apocalypse, the sophomore album from the aforementioned rumbling — due to the bass — feline will be released digitally on June 4 via iTunes, with a physical release coming July 9. There’s no need for dire warnings about fiery meteorites raining down from the sky. Seclusion will be your choice, not because of some naive desire to prevent almost certain death, but because you won’t want anyone else seeing you getting your grove on in the most embarrassing, though personally enjoyable way possible.

That’s what’s coming. Enlightening video and tracks, below.

Apocalypse tracklisting:

01. Tenfold
02. Heartbreaks + Setbacks
03. The Life Aquatic
04. Special Stage
05. Tron Song
06. Seven
07. Oh Sheit It’s X
08. Without You
09. Lotus and the Jondy
10. Evangelion
11. We’ll Die
12. A Message for Austin / Praise the Lord / Enter the Void

• Thundercat:
• Brainfeeder:

Hyperdub releases new Walton LP a.k.a. yet another delicious, sugary Hyperdub donut

All the artists on the Hyperdub roster are pretty damn sweet. It’s like, Hyperdub is the local bakery where there are 30 different kinds of donuts and when you walk in an old lady is like, “Have a sample, dearie,” but the sample isn’t really a sample — it’s like, practically the size of a full donut. And then at the Hyperdub Simile Bakery they throw an extra cookie into the bag at the end, just as a thank you. And you’re looking at all these records/donuts and they all look amazing and there’s like five different donuts with sprinkles on ‘em and like, one with bacon on top, and then there’s like HOLY SHIT IT’S THAT GLAZED DONUT WITH ACTUAL PEACHES FROM THE FARMER’S MARKET SHOVED INTO IT AND mmmmmmm so good mmmmm food coma SUGAR. And if Hyperdub is this enchanted bakery, then 22-year-old Mancunian producer Sam Walton is that juicy peach donut. (Or the bacon one, if you’re into that sorta thing.)

Walton has been with Hyperdub since 2011, when he started sending the label demo tracks and eventually signed on for the appropriately-titled Walton EP, the first of three EPs he released that year. Now he’s back with the full-length Beyond, a sassy melange of grit, grime, funk, atmospheric stuff, and… other stuff. The album, which is Hyperdub’s first full-length for 2013, drops July 1. Preceding the release is Walton’s Baby 12-inch, which just made its way into the world (and our hearts, ahhhhhh) on May 27, also via the good people at Hyperdub. Check the title track for that here:

Beyond tracklisting:

01. Beyond
02. Need to Feel
03. Help Me Out
04. Can’t U See
05. You&Me
06. Love on the Dancefloor
07. Every Night
08. Memories
09. Frisbee
10. Take My Love
11. Grit
12. Amazon
13. City of God

• Walton:
• Hyperdub:

Boards of Canada hosted a Tomorrow’s Harvest listening party in the California Desert and all I got were these lousy fan footage streams!

Hey everyone, did you know that, according to FACT, the artists currently known as Boards of Canada hosted “a listening party for [their forthcoming album out June 11 on Warp] Tomorrow’s Harvest at the abandoned Lake Dolores Waterpark in Southern California” recently? Whoa, what a coincidence; I didn’t either! Probably because of the confusing nonstop stream of cryptic bullshit they’re using to hype their record!

But either way, it seems to have happened, and I guess fans were “allowed to record footage of the album’s first four songs played.” And I know you’re not going to believe this, but: they did. And the results are (yeah, get this) now on the internet! So here, you can now watch some fan videos of the tracks “Jacquard Causeway,” “Gemini,” (btw: how it is possible that this band has never named a song “Gemini” before now???) and “White Cyclosa” from the new album whenever the hell you want (the fourth one was “Reach for the Dead,” which we already dutifully re-hyped to you the other day). Don’t you just love being jerked around like this? I hope the new album is only available at some literally-underground farmers market I need a treasure map to find! I’ve been taking B-12 shots so that I’ll have an edge on the expedition!

“Jacquard Causeway”


“White Cyclosa”

• Boards of Canada:
• Warp:

Placebo announce Loud Like Love, massive European tour, neighbors continue banging on the wall for them to keep it down

So, the band Placebo still exists. It was easy to assume they had just faded away like so many late-90s/early-00s alternative rock bands. It’s hard to be sure if alternative rock is even still a genre. It’s also hard to muster complaints about their continued presence, particularly when they bring a sexy album title like Loud Like Love to the table. Not hard to read between the lines on that one; loud love equals bangin’. Ballin’. Layin’ Pipe. In all probability this album will be related in a big way to one of the numerous kinds of penetrative intercourse that can be had by two (or more) consenting adults.

A less likely but still possible explanation is that Loud Like Love is a concept album about two people who are deeply in love and both going deaf, although neither realizes it. So they just shout constantly. To replicate this experience, watch any Meg Ryan movie with the volume on the TV maxed. Granted, the former scenario seems more suited for the feel of the album, but both are just pure conjecture; the tracklisting hasn’t even been announced yet! The preorder goes up on May 31, so all will be revealed then.

In the meantime, a European tour has been announced, and it is extensive. Neither contrived RomComs nor raucous sexual activity guaranteed.

European/UK tour dates:

11.12.13 - Warsaw, Poland -Torwar
11.13.13 - Prague, Czech Republic - Lucerna Music Bar
11.15.13 - Leipzig, Germany - Arena Leipzig
11.16.13 - Cologne, Germany - Lanxess Arena
11.18.13 - Zurich, Switzerland - Hallenstadion Arena
11.19.13 - Munich, Germany - Olympiahalle
11.21.13 - Vienna, Austria - Stadthalle
11.23.13 - Bologna, Italy - Unipol Arena
11.24.13 - Geneva, Switzerland - Geneva Arena
11.27.13 - Frankfurt, Germany - Festhalle
11.30.13 - Copenhagen, Denmark - Falconer Salen
12.01.13 - Stockholm, Sweden - Stora Arenan
12.03.13 - Oslo, Norway - Sentrum Scene
12.05.13 - Hamburg, Germany - O2 World
12.07.13 - Antwerp, Belgium - Sportpalais
12.08.13 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Ziggo Dome
12.10.13 - Paris, France - Bercy
12.12.13 - Birmingham, UK - O2 Academy Birmingham
12.13.13 - Glasgow, UK - O2 Academy Glasgow
12.14.13 - Manchester, UK - O2 Apollo
12.16.13 - London, UK - O2 Academy Brixton

• Placebo:
• Loud Like Love:

Christopher Lee (Dracula, Lord of the Rings, other films) announces metal record, wears faded Black Sabbath shirt

Christopher Lee, the famed actor known for Lord of the Rings and his portrayal of Dracula, is 91 years old. He may also be 15 years old. That is not a criticism of any kind, but many of Sir Lee’s interests align themselves cleanly with a number of kids I knew during my high school years. An obsession with fantasy tropes, an interest in early heavy metal, probably good grades in History and English classes, probably bad grades in Math. But if a 15 year-old with a three-hair mustache made a metal album called, Charlemagne: The Omens of Death, it would be the sort of thing that gets you kicked out of the AV Club. When Christopher Lee does it, as The Guardian says he is, it makes perfect sense.

On May 27, Lee will release the aforementioned Charlemagne: The Omens of Death, the follow-up to his 2010 metal record Charlemagne: By the Sword and the Cross. In composing the album’s music, Lee worked with Judas Priest guitarist Richie Faulkner. However, the record’s guitar parts were not played by Faulkner, but instead by Hedras Ramos, who was 2009’s Guitar Idol runner-up, which is a contest I just learned about.

If you’ve heard the previous record in Lee’s Charlemagne series, perhaps you thought that it wasn’t quite 100% metal. Sure, 95% metal. Maybe. Well, Lee assures you that this one will be “100% metal,” at least in regards to his singing style. “I’ve done my bits and pieces, and they are heavy metal,” Lee said. “I’m not screaming or anything like that, but it is definitely heavy metal.” My fears are assuaged. Not that I should have worried, because his previous record did win The Spirit of Metal prize at the 2010 Metal Hammer Golden God awards, which is another thing I just learned about.

• Christopher Lee: