To catch a full-grown adult male pelican:
1) It is often easier to catch a baby pelican and wait for it to grow. However, bear in mind that baby pelicans, while flightless, can scuttle up walls like spiders and are almost entirely invulnerable to fire.
2) Pelicans, while generally easy-going, are extremely fastidious about the pronunciation of their name. If you stand in front of one while shouting "PEE-li-can" repeatedly, it will usually stand still and look impatiently at you until either you pronounce its name correctly or your colleague grabs it from behind.
3) The pelican's left eye is purely decorative: it is advisable to approach from the left, as quietly as possible. Beware, though, of pelicans standing on their heads, as the opposite will apply.
4) While it can be tempting to introduce your son or daughter to pelican hunting as soon as possible, bear in mind that pelicans lust for nothing more than the still-living flesh of the young.
5) Take care not to anger a pelican: While its large beak is mostly used to catch and hold fish, it can also hold several knives at once.
6) If you wish to capture your pelican by gaining its trust and making it drop its guard, remember that they will listen for hours to anyone talking about the sitcom Friends; Joey, however, bores them.
To catch Pelican live:
1) Turn up to one of the following gigs:
09.18.06 - St Louis, MO - Creepy Crawl *
09.19.06 - Little Rock, AR - Vinos
09.20.06 - Denton, TX - Hailey?s ! @ $
09.21.06 - Oklahoma City, OK - Conservatory ! @
09.23.06 - Tempe AZ - The Sets !
09.25.06 - Anaheim, CA - Chain Reaction ! % &
09.26.06 - Los Angeles, CA - Knitting Factory ! % &
09.27.06 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall ! % &
09.29.06 - Portland, OR - Satyricon ! &
09.30.06 - Seattle, WA - Neumo?s Crystal Ball Reading Room ! &
10.01.06 - Vancouver, BC - The Lamplighter ^
10.03.06 - Edmonto, AB - The Starlite ^
10.04.06 - Calgary, AB - Warehouse Night Club ^
10.05.06 - Regina, SK - The Exchange ^
10.06.06 - Winnipeg, MB - Collective Cabaret ^
10.09.06 - Hamilton, ON - The Underground ^
10.10.06 - London, ON - Call The Office ^
10.11.06 - Toronto, ON - The Mod Club ^
10.12.06 - Ottawa, ON - Babylon ^
10.13.06 - Quebec City, QC- L?Anti ^
10.14.06 - Montreal, QC - Club Soda ^
10.15.06 - Syracuse, NY - Furnace !
10.16.06 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop
10.17.06 - Indianapolis, IN - The Harrison Center
10.18.06 - Milwaukee, WI - Mad Planet
* w/ Sweet Cobra
! w/ Daughters
@ w/ Russian Circles
$ w/ The Roller
% w/ Saviours
& w/ Nachmystium
^ Exclaim! Aggressive Tendencies Tour, w/ Daughters, Ken Mode