PIPA voting postponed after online protest; SOPA/PIPA slapped by the internet’s dick, but not dead yet

PIPA voting postponed after online protest; SOPA/PIPA slapped by the internet's dick, but not dead yet

After some convincing from a full-day blackout from numerous web presences and demands from internet bigwigs, as well as the possible realization that many older legislators didn’t even know what the internet was, the anti-piracy bills SOPA and PIPA have been postponed indefinitely, shelved in the dark corners of Washington, where they will possibly fester and grow eviler each day.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announced the postponement of a planned ballot for the Protect IP Act just two days after Google’s logo was boxed out, and Republican chairman of the House Judiciary committee Lamar Smith then reported that his panel had also caved and would delay any action with the Stop Online Piracy Act until more agreement on the legislation could be coerced out of techies and major internet companies.

Reid was rumored to have become quite upset that he couldn’t download the latest episode of Celebrity Wife Swap due to Megaupload being shut down. We’ve received word from an anonymous source that he admitted that he “did not realize Wife Swap would be affected” and that he really doesn’t “get how the internet works.” Reid encouraged the authors of the bill to redraft their tool of fascism with the online community in mind, so that it forged a “balance between protecting Americans’ intellectual property, and maintaining openness and innovation on the internet.” Film studios and major record labels then realized that Congress may no longer be their bitch, for now.

Obama also protested the bills by singing a copyrighted Al Green song right in Al Green’s fucking face, as if to say “fuck you, and those fucktards at ASCAP, too.”

• Strike Against SOPA: http://sopastrike.com