RIAA and NAB mull peace treaty, ask Congress to put FM radios into cell phones. But why stop at cell phones??

RIAA and NAB mull peace treaty, ask Congress to put FM radios into cell phones. But why stop at cell phones?? http://www.tinymixtapes.com/sites/default/files/news-10-08-cellphone.jpg

There has been a bitter war between the armies of music and radio. The taxes that the Recording Industry Army of America (RIAA) demand of radio duchies across the country remains a contentious enough issue to have the National Army of Broadcasters (NAB) strike at them at every opportunity, and neither side has been willing to give in to the argument fully. With their plans for inward expansion on each others’ small kingdoms at a standstill, they look outward and see vast amounts of territory around them, territory they once knew and loved but now filled with the unclean and ignorant masses that were once called “potential listeners.”

All these wretches are different, except for one common feature: They wield this new fancy device they call a cellular telephone, one that can receive the same “radio waves” that once powered their great empires cooperatively. Many also wield the small clockwork device known as the “MP3 player,” which is equally capable, though often not equipped, to receive these airwaves. Realizing the potential of restoring their golden age and the mutually-assured destruction of their continued campaigns, Marshal Mitch Bainwol of the RIAA sued for peace with the NAB, with an offer: In return for an arbitrary annual sum (a paltry $100 million), they would unite their armies and lay siege on the League of Nations U.S. Congress, demanding that these new “cell phones” and other portable clockwork devices have a chip inside that would play their radio waves. The NAB has not yet agreed to all the details, but according to Lt. General Dennis Wharton, if they agree to this treaty, implementing the chips into these devices “in possible legislation would be a reasonable idea.”

It is, in fact, a brilliant idea.

That said, a small militia that supposedly defends the rights of cell phone and MP3 artisans, known as the Consumer Electronics Army (CEA), have blasted the plans of the proposed Nabriaan Grand Army. General Peter Shapiro of the CEA complained that the maneuver is the “height of absurdity,” and that the two armies “act like buggy-whip industries that refuse to innovate and seek to impose penalties on those that do.” The rabblerouser even remarked that it was “not in our national interest.” But what does he know? Lt. Gen. Wharton remarked that the CEA “always opposes new rules” that serve them and the nation best. It is not an invasion; it is a mere re-civilizing of the masses, giving them, as Lt. Gen. Wharton remarks, “lifeline information” in case of a real invasion.

But why stop at “cell phones?” Surely, we can go further than that to “re-civilize” the poor and the wretched. We can implement radios on these new adding machines they call “computers,” or lights or clocks! Maybe even implementing them as the sounds you hear when you are ringing someone on the telephone or while you are placed on hold. We can go further with microwaves and toasters, perhaps even lamps! If the Nabriaan Grand Army is to truly regain its empire, then its struggle must continue until the misguided creatures around it shall have their ears bathed in enough sound to cause their vision to be cleared, to have them understand that not only is resistance useless, but that those whom they may hold as enemies have no purpose except to consecrate them to capitalism and liberty, and to open them to a way to happiness.

Animal Collective, Girls, and Sleigh Bells featured on soundtrack to Spike Jonze’s short film I’m Here; Bob Dylan woefully lacking

Remember Where the Wild Things Are (TMT Review)? Family film from last year, hip soundtrack from Karen O? Of course you do. Now that you recall, push it out of your mind: Spike Jonze now has a new short film with a soundtrack that makes Where the Wild Things Are’s sound like the soundtrack for City of Angels.

I’m Here is a 30-minute short sponsored by Absolut Vodka. (Luckily, the film itself has nothing to do with Absolut, short of the title — “An Absolut Love Story.” Yes, Zooey Deschanel, you’re still #1 for worst commissioned work… what were you thinking, Cotton?) Chocolate Industries worked with Spike Jonze on the soundtrack, which includes original music from The Lost Trees (comprised of Flea, Aska Matsumiya, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Nick Zimmer — take that, Karen). The real “cred,” however, comes from the addition of tracks from Sam Spiegel, Girls, Sleigh Bells, and Animal Collective, with others as of yet unannounced.

The film is a “love story between two robots… co-existing alongside humanity in Los Angeles,” presumably making it a rob rom, +/- com. Sienna Guillory stars as the female robot, who looks like a steely version of the chick from Eyes Without a Face (Andrew Garfield, the male robot interest, looks more like Andrew Garfield wearing a PC tower over his head).

I’m Here tracklisting:

01. The Lost Trees & Aska - “There Are Many of Us”
02. Gui Borratto - “Beautiful Life”
03. Sleigh Bells - “A/B Machines”
04. of Montreal & The Lost Trees - “The Past Is a Grotesque Animal”
05. Animal Collective - “Did You See the Words”
06. Girls - “Hellhole Ratrace”
07. Aska - “Y.O.U.”
08. Sam Spiegel - “Lonesome Robot Theme”
09. Sam Spiegel - “There Are Many of Us (Electric Dream Reprise)”

I’m Here: http://www.imheremovie.com
• Chocolate Industries: http://www.chocolateindustries.com

Sleigh Bells set to open for LCD Soundsystem this fall; this week’s TOUR OF THE YEAR

When LCD Soundsystem announces new tourdates, a collective buzz can be heard amongst the skinny-jeaned hoards. But when they procure one of the most up-and-coming buzz bands to join them on the road, it’s enough to bring on an early onset of hipster heart attacks. This fall, LCD Soundsystem (of This Is Happening [TMT Review] fame) will team up with Sleigh Bells (of Treats [TMT Review] fame) on a US tour. The entire jaunt will culminate at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, CA, where Hot Chip will also join the two bands. Wait a minute… LCD Soundsystem, Sleigh Bells, and Hot Chip? Expect Silver Lake to look like a ghost town and every taqueria line to be non-existent on October 15.

LCD Soundsystem and Sleigh Bells dates:

09.24.10 - Philadelphia, PA - Philadelphia Naval Cruise Terminal (Making Time)
09.25.10 - Columbia, MD - Merriweather Post-Pavilion (V Festival)
09.26.10 - Baltimore, MD - University of Maryland – Baltimore
09.27.10 - Burlington, VT - Memorial Auditorium
09.28.10 - Boston, MA - Orpheum
10.01.10 - Clinton, NY - Hamilton College
10.04.10 - Atlanta, GA - Tabernacle
10.05.10 - Orlando, FL - Hard Rock
10.06.10 - Miami, FL - Fillmore
10.08.10 - Houston, TX - Verizon Amphitheater
10.15.10 - Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl *

* Hot Chip

• Sleigh Bells: http://www.myspace.com/sleighbellsmusic
• LCD Soundsystem: http://www.lcdsoundsystem.com

Ganglians play dates with Jenny and Johnny, flaunt their way cooler name all over the place

California’s Ganglians are playing a pair of dates with Jenny and Johnny, the new project from Rilo Kiley frontlady Jenny Lewis and her boyfriend Johnathan Rice. The party line about the shows is probably something about mutual respect for each other’s music and similar sensibilities and blah blah blah. Obviously, the real reason is that Ganglians saw that Jenny and Johnny were pretty dull names and leaped at the chance to flaunt their cool band name and cool personal names like Ryan Grubbs and Adrian Comenzind. I can hardly blame ‘em.

Meanwhile, Jenny and Johnny have plenty of dates without Ganglians, including shows with Pavement and Belle and Sebastian.

Ganglians and Jenny and Johnny dates:

09.01.10 - Santa Cruz, CA - Rio Theater
09.03.10 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall

Jenny and Johnny dates:

09.02.10 - San Francisco, CA - Great American Music Hall*
09.05.10 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge
09.06.10 - Seattle, WA - Bumbershoot
09.08.10 - Salt Lake City, NV - The State Room
09.11.10 - Omaha, NE - The Waiting Room
09.12.10 - Minneapolis, MN - Cedar Cultural Center
09.13.10 - Chicago, IL - Lincoln Hall
09.14.10 - Cleveland, OH - Beachland Ballroom
09.16.10 - Washington, DC - Black Cat
09.18.10 - Boston, MA - Agganis Arena *
09.19.10 - Brooklyn, NY - Williamsburg Waterfront *
09.21.10 - Hoboken, NJ - Maxwells
09.22.10 - Philadelphia, PA - Trocadero
09.23.10 - Carrboro, NC - Cat’s Cradle
09.24.10 - Athens, GA - 40 Watt Club
09.25.10 - Nashville, TN - Mercy Lounge
10.03.10 - Hollywood, CA - Hollywood Palladium #

$ Ganglians
* Pavement
# Belle & Sebastian

• Ganglians: http://myspace.com/ganglian
• Jenny and Johnny: http://www.myspace.com/jennyandjohnny

New sitcom idea: Gogol Bordello tour U.S. with an endearingly xenophobic and lovably incompetent FBI tail

You think that Gogol Bordello are kind of an alright band and that’s about it. You like a lot of eclectic stuff, and you appreciate their reputed “live show energy” (though you secretly kinda think that it’s a bit of a cop out for songs that are a little same-y), and you respect the old-world rhythms and tonal accents and all that crap… but, for your money, they aren’t really anything to write home about. Maybe someone like… Man Man (yeah, Man Man!) is more in your aesthetic wheelhouse.

But the thing is: you have this housemate or work acquaintance (everyone’s got one) who generally doesn’t really listen to “difficult music” and is way psyched over Gogol Bordello because its really “unique” and “indie” sounding to him. He’s super into the idea of liking less-well-known bands in general because this whole business of Taste is sort of new to him, and he knows that you’re this big Music Dude, so he excitedly tells you that he really wants you to go see them with him on their upcoming fall tour, thinking you’ll agree that they rule. You try to argue that any band who has had its most recent record produced by old-heavy-hands Rick Rubin — as Gogol Bordello did with this year’s Trans-Continental Hustle (TMT Review) — is far from d.i.y. You even cite The Avett Brothers as proof. But it’s no use. He doesn’t know what “d.i.y.” even means. He also says that it’s too late because he already bought the tickets. He also calls you a snob.

Am I a snob?” you think to yourself later that evening as you pick at your burrito bowl. I don’t know, ARE YOU?

Gogol Bordello tourdates:

10.06.10 - Asheville, NC - Civic Center
10.08.10 - New Orleans, LA - Republic
10.09.10 - Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Fest
10.13.10 - Los Angeles, CA - Nokia Theatre
10.15.10 - Chico, CA - Senator Theatre
10.17.10 - Eugene, OR - MacDonald Theatre
10.19.10 - Portland, OR - Roseland Theater
10.22.10 - Vancouver, BC - Commodore Ballroom
10.23.10 - Vancouver, BC - Commodore Ballroom
10.29.10 - Lawrence, KS - Liberty Hallter

• Gogol Bordello: http://www.gogolbordello.com

Future Islands announce new EP and European tour, so it looks like I won’t be shutting up about Future Islands anytime soon

Look, I’ll be honest, ever since Future Islands put out their new LP In Evening Air (TMT Review), I pretty much haven’t shut up about them. Our good friend Jordan Redmond gave the record four little red balls and called Future Islands “that rare band that manages to capture its rippling essence both live and on record.” Those are statements and red balls that I would agree with! Basically, these guys have had a good year, and the best way to round out a good year is to release an acoustic EP. Future Islands will release just such an EP by the name of Undressed through Thrill Jockey on September 21. All of the EP’s tracks, which draw from the band’s two full-lengths and this year’s “In The Fall” single, were recorded by the group at Baltimore’s Mobtown Studios with additional musicians Danny Bowen (of Double Dagger) on drums, Kate Barutha on cello, and Devlin Rice on acoustic guitar.

What’s the other best way to round out a good year? A European tour, that’s what. Appropriately enough, Future Islands are doing that, too.

Undressed tracklist:

01. In The Fall
02. An Apology
03. Long Flight
04. Little Dreamer

Future Islands European tour:

09.16.10 - Leipzig, Germany - Conne Islands
09.17.10 - Kassel, Germany - ARM
09.18.10 - Wurzburg, Germany - Schoner Rene
09.19.10 - Munich, Germany - Feierwerk
09.20.10 - Ljubljana, Slovenia - ORTO Club
09.21.10 - Zagreb, Croatia - KSET
09.22.10 - Montebelluna, Italy - Osteria Tocchetto
09.23.10 - Vienna, Austria - Arena
09.24.10 - Dresden, Germany - Beatpol
09.25.10 - Prague, Czech Republic - 007
09.26.10 - Karlsruhe, Germany - Carambolage
09.27.10 - Esslingen, Germany - Komma
09.29.10 - London, UK - CAMP Basement
09.30.10 - Brighton, Uk - Freebutt
10.01.10 - Manchester, UK - Islington Mill
10.02.10 - Glasgow, UK - Islington Mill
10.03.10 - Leeds, UK - The Library
10.04.10 - London, UK - Latitudes Session @ Southern Studios
10.05.10 - Paris, France - Point Ephemere
10.06.10 - Nantes, France - Olympic
10.07.10 - Le Mans, France - Salle Jean Carmet
10.08.10 - Reism, France - Festival Elcstival Elecktricity
10.09.10 - Dudigen, Switzerland - Cafe Bad Bonn
10.10.10 - St. Gallen, Switzerland - Palace
10.11.10 - Bielefeld, Germany - AZ
10.12.10 - Leuven, Belgium -STUK
10.13.10 - Hamburg, Germany - III & 70 Club
10.14.10 - Koln, Germany - Sonic Ballroom
10.15.10 - Potsdam, Germany - Kuze
10.16.10 - Berlin, Germany - Shokoladen
10.17.10 - Athens, Greece - Six D.O.G.S
10.18.10 - Vigo, Spain - Festival Sinsal
10.19.10 - Madrid, Spain - Moby Dick
10.20.10 - Dublin, Ireland - Workman’s Club

• Future Islands: http://www.myspace.com/futureislands
• Thrill Jockey: http://www.thrilljockey.com