A Seriously Preemptive and Anticipatory Report Regarding sBACH; In Spencer Seim We Trust

This is your brain in a normative state: cool, calm, serene.

This is your brain when Spencer Seim gets done with it: INSANE!

Noisy post-rock 8-bit hero Seim, hereby known for scrambling your psyche with Hella and The Advantage, is striking out on his own. Behold sBACH, whose debut is due August 19 on Suicide Squeeze. No further information is currently available, except that it's going to math rock your ass off.

Wilco Stream Live Concert at 7:30 CST on Chicago’s 93XRT

Knowing Mr P, he's already got a VIP suite staked out for this show, but who's a bigga balla than P? That's right. NOT YOU! So you can join the other proles and indulge in the "poor man's Wilco concert" so graciously bestowed on those of us not lucky enough to catch any of the five sold-out dates they're playing in Chicago. That's right, five. Kinda makes up for the lack of Grammy lovin' on Sky Blue Sky (TMT Review)...

Do Not Open Until 7:30 (ish).

Wolf Eyes to Embark on PR Tour

About Wolf Eyes

We are the world's largest publicly traded noise group, providing music that helps underpin growing economies and improve living standards around the world of noise.

Who We Are

Our organizational structure is built on a concept of global businesses and is designed to allow Wolf Eyes to compete most effectively in the ever-changing and challenging worldwide noise industry.

What We Do

Wolf Eyes use innovation and technology to deliver music to a growing world. We explore for, produce, and sell noise music and other experimental products.

Integrity In Our Operations

We are committed to meeting the world's growing demand for noise in an economically, environmentally, and socially responsible manner.

PR Tour:

Portishead Release Album Art And Tracklisting

After ten long years of waiting and complaining, lonely trip-hop fans have moved on from scribbling in their journals about despair to writing about despair on trip-hop lovin' blogs. Not only that, but there's a brand new Portishead album coming out on Mercury Records. No, not that ridiculous Russian bootleg that was pretending to be Portishead, but the actual real meal deal.

In a brilliant stroke of album-naming genius, the gang have decided to name it Third. Yep, I know what you're thinking -- killer title, isn't it? Well, I'm sure you won't be surprised to see that the album art is about as ingenious as its title. Look! It's a P and a 3! Get it? Portishead's Third! How remarkably clever!

Oh yeah, and there's a few track titles here for you, too. I know what you're thinking again -- seeing titles to songs you've probably never heard is about as useful as giving a Barbie doll to a Vietnam veteran. Well, if you were lucky enough to have seen the band play at All Tomorrow's Parties last year, you would have heard four of these songs, including "Silence" (renamed from its original working title of "Wicca"). Not so useless now, huh, Barbie-hugging vet boy!

Thirty-three and a Third:

# A Hawk and a Hacksaw

$ Kling Klang

Beastie Boys To Headline Benefit For The Institute for Musical and Neurologic Function; Nat Towsen To Be Fired For Attempting To Turn TMT Into Beastie Boys Fan Site

Hey Nat-

Thanks for sending in this article about the Beastie Boys. The Institute for Musical and Neurologic Function (which, as I’m sure you know, was “founded on the idea that music has unique powers to heal, rehabilitate, and inspire -- and that we can use music therapy to restore and improve our physical, emotional, and neurological health”) is certainly a topic appropriate for TMT. I think it’s great that you encourage readers to attend the benefit show on March 4, 2008 at Terminal 5 in New York City. While the $75 ticket price might be a bit steep for some of our buys-clothing-off-craigslist readership, I think that at least some of them will buy tickets from Ticketmaster.

What I am more concerned with is your headline (“I Hope The Beastie Boys E-mail Me And Tell Me That I’m Cool”) and the general tone of your article. While I appreciate your enthusiasm, I do not believe that phrases like “it’s too bad I’m not gay, because then all four of us could totally man-bone” are appropriate to music journalism. And your assertion that “Adrock invented brainz in da fifteenf century” is both poorly spelled and historically inaccurate.

It’s been a great run. I’ll give you that. When you weren’t busy writing thinly-veiled attempts to befriend bands that you like, you actually managed to produce some fairly cohesive articles that conveyed information. I will certainly miss your commitment to correcting the grammar of other TMT articles. No one has a dedication to the non-modifiable adjective quite like yours.

Nonetheless, I’m afraid that I’m going to have to let you go. I’ve received an overwhelming number of phone calls from the Beastie Boys of late, all begging me to ask you to stop hiding in their respective kitchen cabinets and crawl spaces. Also, Mike D has specifically requested that you stop sending him pictures of you two performing together at the Grammys. He has repeatedly told me that the photos are “clearly photoshopped” and that he would “definitely remember that.”

Good luck with the rest of your career. I’m sure a writer of your caliber and experience could easily find a job at Pitchfork or Blender, but I think we both know you’d rather not sully your reputation. Please leave your cassette player and sense of irony on my desk by Friday.

Eat a bag of dicks,

Mr P

Hold the Fone! Califone and Iron and Wine Take One More Step Toward Becoming One Giant Band By Touring Together… Again

Tim Rutili has been around a while, and damnit, he can do whatever the hell he wants!

So he wants to claim that his band hails from both Chicago, Illinois and Los Angeles, California at the same time, even though they are over 2,000 miles away from each other? Who are you to point fingers??

So he wants to make records thematically linked to old Psychic TV songs that I'd never heard of before the Califone version because "the iTunes store doesn't carry Psychic TV stuff?" So what???

So he wanted to name his band after Califone International, a long-standing manufacturer of audio equipment commonly found in schools, libraries, and businesses? Who the fuck are YOU to tell him not to?!?

So he's decided to take old-standbys, close friends, and fellow folkies Iron and Wine on yet another U.S. jaunt this spring? And so both of those bands' most recent records, while both totally awesome, definitely bear more than just an eerie resemblance to each other because mutual friend and collaborator Brian Deck either produced or semi-produced both records in that same, folk-tronic, Brian Deckian way and clearly used a number of the same tricks on both because a lot of the tunes have exactly the same vibe and broke-down instrumentation and whisper-sung vocal style and layered harmonies and obtusely cool lyrics and slack-strummed acoustic guitars and brooding experimentalism and...

...well anyway, so WHAT? I mean, who the hell am I to call the man out on it?!?!

Oh wait.

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