Stars to Tour Europe, In Order to Tour Must Leave Their Bedroom After the War

Get ready, my galactic-a-go-go guys and gals. Hell, even mark up your Belle and Sebastian calendar*. Stars is touring Europe, starting January 22 in Ireland.

What better way to ring in 2008? Especially since you OBVIOUSLY have a Belle and Sebastian calendar to mark up.

Did I also mention, reader baby, that I really love Nesquik, Red Bull, Ray Bans, Google, and American Express?

Tour dates probably inadvertently supported by Nesquik, Red Bull, Ray Bans, Google and American Express (I mean, isn’t everything?):

* Indie product placement-a-go-go

Le Loup Tours WITHOUT Bodies of Water Bodies of Water Tour with Le Loup in 960,375-Part Vocal Harmony

UPDATE (1/9): We originally reported that Bodies of Water and Le Loup are going on tour together. Turns out, Bodies of Water are instead going on tour with Sons & Daughters. Updated tourdates below, but we kept the same story, because, shit, why not keep things a little confusing? We're living in confusing times, my friends. -Editor

So, my theory is that some merry tricksters at Secretly Canadian called up Nick and Sarah over at Hardly Art and the conversation went something like this:

SC: So you have that band, Le Loup.

HA: Uh... yeah.

SC: It has about 75 people in it playing 84 different instruments.

HA: Truth.

SC: We have a band that does that too. We think they're pretty good.

HA: Yeah? Well, ours likes to bust a move on stage once in a while. Collectively.

SC: My band does too. I bet they'd kick your band's lily asses in that department.

HA: I bet not.

SC: I'll bet you a U.S. tour.

HA: You're on.

SC: Great! The first date is in Dallas, Texas. Don't be late! (hangs up)

HA: Uh... I think we just booked a tour for Le Loup. Oh well. Cool. Except they're not going to fucking Texas; I'll say that right now!

I mean, you can take this or leave it. Just throwing it out there. Either way, this'll be a rager of a tour. A very well-orchestrated rager, I might add.

The French horn is cool again (THESE DATES ARE LE LOUP DATES, NO BODIES OF WATER):

Rings Announce Tour, Have Not Yet Considered Switching Back to “First Nation” Moniker

New York City triad Rings (formerly First Nation) will begin touring the South with White Williams at the beginning of February, in support of the release of Black Habit (due January 15 on Paw Tracks), their first album under the new moniker.

As previously reported (TMT News), the name change reflects the band's new lineup; original members Nina Mehta and Kate Rosko added Abby Portner (sister of Animal Collective's Dave Portner) after Melissa Livaudais left the band. Rosko says the name change was also in part politically motivated, as Native Canadians identify themselves as citizens of the First Nation, and the band no longer felt the use of the name was culturally sensitive. In an e-mail message, Rosko also said, "The songs on the Rings album reflect a really different -- more personal and poppy -- feeling than the songs on the First Nation record, which I think are a little more political and socially oriented and harder sounding."

Rings are also planning a West Coast tour at the end of February, as well as a few more East Coast dates, including a record release show in NYC. For more information, visit the Paw Tracks website.

* White Williams

Who Gives a Fuck about Some Vampire Weekend Tourdates?

On their catchy-as-all-get-out single "Oxford Comma," Vampire Weekend asks us the burning question, "Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?" Though the most famous band ever to have not yet released an album may well have meant this rhetorically, I must insist that I do, in fact, give a fuck about an Oxford comma.

I'll admit, I had to look it up (at the website www.askoxford.com, no less). But when I found out that an Oxford comma is the "optional comma before the word ‘and’ at the end of a list," I realized it was something worth fighting for. While technically superfluous, that helpful, little punctuation mark adds a subtle symmetry to sentences and -- yes -- makes my heart beat a bit faster.

So while I fundamentally disagree with indie rock's favorite Ivy League grads on certain, non-essential points of grammar, I can't get that goddamn song out of my head. If you weren't lucky enough to acquire a copy of their now-legendary "Blue CD-R," you can catch the ditty on their forthcoming, self-titled album. Vampire Weekend (XL) hits the street January 29, and the band begins their tour with a sold-out Bowery Ballroom show that night.

Most famous band ever to sell out two dates at the Bowery Ballroom without even releasing an album yet:
01.29.08 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
01.30.08 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
01.31.08 - San Francisco, CA - Popscene
02.06.08 - Washington, DC - Rock and Roll Hotel
02.07.08 - Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
02.08.08 - Williamstown, MA - Williams College
02.09.08 - Boston, MA - Museum of Fine Arts
02.13.08 - Cincinnati, OH - The Gypsy Hut
02.14.08 - Columbus, OH - Wexner Center, Ohio State University
02.15.08 - Pittsburgh, PA - Andy Warhol Museum
03.06.08 - Toronto, Ontario - The Social*
03.07.08 - Big Cypress Indian Reservation/South Florida Everglades -
Langerado Music Festival
03.09.08 - Atlanta, GA - The Earl*
03.10.08 - Birmingham, AL - The Bottletree*

* The Walkmen

EXTRA! EXTRA! Nobodaddy Writes PANDA BEAR Story, Galvanized Public Voraciously Reads On Despite Ambiguous Headline

So, not that I'm Noah Lennox's pitch person or anything, but ever since animal-powered art-rocker Noah Lennox gnawed the shit out of all comers in this past year's heady Album of the Year throwdown like they were helpless sticks of bamboo, it just seems like anything the man does qualifies as news... especially here at TMT, where we'll cover just about ANYTHING as long as it makes you love us more, dear reader! You DO love us, don't you??? :)

And so, it is in this spirit of insecurity, eeeeelectric-yellow journalism, and Pitchfork-reading that I excitedly report that Panda Bear has taken the next logical step in his career arc as a successful musician and artist: badass clothing designer.

That's right, folks, Lennox and wife Fernanda Pereira (sorry girls, looks like you'll have to redirect your secret crush back to Howard Roark and Stephen Dedalus) have recently announced the creation of 2nd Things, "a second project for both of us and... a second chance for forgotten clothing." Intrigued? Well, you should be. Mr. and Mrs. Bear say that their new company will offer a line of second-hand sweatshirts which have been skillfully and artfully altered for your indie-cred convenience, and that these little numbers are presently available for purchase through their website. However, the Pandas have only crafted an initial run of 50 of these things, so they are naturally all sold out at the moment. They say that they'll be trying to fill orders as they can, so if you want your very own piece of Panda, you'd better act quickly.

No word yet on what's next for 2nd Things, but at this rate, Noah will be on MTV hosting "Making the Indie Band" in no time!

Animal Collective ‘08 Dates (a.k.a. 1st Things):

* Kria Brekken

Broken Social Scene Tour, But Not In America, Causing Me To Seriously Rethink Whether Or Not I Feel Like Writing This News Story (Especially Since Microsoft Works Crashed and I Am Writing it Again)

Sure, Broken Social Scene toured America. Did I know about it? Yes. I'm only a music news writer. Did I go? No. I directly blame the dreaded "Man." Stay in college, kids, stay in college.

The Scene laid low toward the end of 2007, with the exception of Kevin Drew's secret acoustic show Mexico City last month. (Eff you too, Mexico.) Thankfully, all 87 other members (even Feist, who had to be talked out of becoming the new Breck Girl) of BSS will be joining him on the road starting February 20 in New Zealand. Not New York. I quit.

BSS will be mine. Oh yes, they will be mine: