Weezer Say “Fuck It” to Artistic Credibility, “Yes” to Teenage Girls; Announce Tour with Blink-182

Listen up: Weezer are headed out on a MEGA summer tour where they plan to leave all hopes of respectability and acceptance by music critics and aficionados in the past and fully accept the rigors and pleasures of a sold-out life. The band has announced a trip through the great U.S.A., which will include dates with reunited pop-punkers Blink-182. The shows will take place at whatever happens to be the biggest arena in your area.

Weezer, who enjoyed a brief period of both mass popularity and critical acclaim due to their well-received and highly enjoyable albums Weezer (the blue one) and Pinkerton (the sad one), have been on a slow decline since the 2001 recycling of their self-titled album's cover concept and title for the "green album." The past nine years have seen the band on a sad slide from nerd-rock darlings to champions of mall rock irrelevance. The band apparently aims to use the newly announced tour as a platform to announce their full acceptance of mediocrity to fans across the country.

“We just got tired of [making good music] and said fuck it, let’s keep making money and getting pre-teens hot for us,” Cuomo stated as he reclined in a pile of money and elucidated on his life path. “Yeah, the whole blue album was fun but it’s just so much work! You know what I mean? It’s tough to write stuff that’s good and makes tons of money. I think our next couple albums are just going to be ‘The Purple Album,’ ‘The Orange Album,’ and probably ‘The Yellow Album.’ I think [the band] would all look good standing in front of purple; plus, the marketing dudes say that purple is pretty hot right now, so that’ll make us some money as well.

“Really, we just want to be a brand.”

Once the band decided that they would rather have a lucrative career over glowing reviews and continued musical evolution, they realized that they would need to do something big to let the world know their new mission statement. “We thought a tour would be an excellent way to keep our fans informed and still be able to get more money from them,” says Weezer drummer Patrick Wilson. Guitarist Brian Bell had this to add: “Once we knew that [the tour] would be the way to go, we had to find a band that stood for what we wanted to stand for, so we called up our record label and asked them to recommend a shitty band to play with.” After only a couple sessions of focus groups, the label decided on Blink-182 and quickly got them to reunite.

Weezer, especially Cuomo, say that they are super excited for the tour and hope that ALL their fans come out for the shows. Here are the dates, with slight adjustments to P4k's dates:
07.24.09 - Jisan Valley, Korea - Jisan Valley Rock Festival
07.26.09 - Naeba, Japan - Fuji Rock Festival
08.23.09 - Toronto, Ontario - Molson Amphitheater *
08.25.09 - Wantagh, NY - Nikon Theater at Jones Beach *
08.26.09 - Holmdel, NJ - PNC Bank Arts Center *
08.28.09 - Camden, PA - Susquehanna Bank Center *
08.29.09 - Hartford, CT - New England Dodge Music Center *
08.30.09 - Washington, DC - TBA *
08.31.09 - Saratoga, NY - SPAC *
09.02.09 - Cleveland, OH - Blossom *
09.03.09 - St. Louis, MO - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre *
09.04.09 - Kansas City, KS - Sandstone Amphitheatre *
09.06.09 - Denver, CO - Fiddler's Green Amphitheatre *
09.10.09 - Seattle, WA - White River Amphitheatre *
09.12.09 - Sacramento, CA - Sleep Train Amphitheatre *
09.13.09 - San Francisco, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre *
09.16.09 - San Diego, CA - Cricket Amphitheatre *
09.17.09 - Irvine, CA - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre *

* Blink-182

From Rags to Riches and Back Again: Raglani and Emeralds’ Gear Stolen at No Fun Fest

We've all heard horror stories of music gear getting stolen, because the stories are simply endless. Most don't get their gear back, but once in awhile stolen equipment will be discovered and returned to the artist. Hopefully this is another such case.

After playing at No Fun in New York last Friday, Raglani's van was broken into and all of his many synths were stolen. And not only did Raglani walk up to see another car loaded up with his and Steve Hauschildt's (Emeralds) equipment, but they almost got run over by the car while chasing after them! Due to the loss of their gear, Raglani, who was on tour with Steve Hauschildt, had to cancel the remaining dates.

Since most of their equipment was made up of shit you don't see every day, some equipment might be easily recognizable. So check out the list below, pass it around, and keep an eye out.

Also, a page has been set up so that people can donate money to help Raglani and Haushildt get new equipment. Of course, you could always buy their records too. Raglani saw his Kranky debut last September with Of Sirens Born (TMT Review) and Haushildt has many tapes and CD-Rs you can pick up from Arbor, Gneiss Things, etc.

Raglani's stolen gear:

Moog Voyager Old School white wash

Moog VX-351 Expander with cable

Moog Voyager Case ("Raglani" stenciled in black)

Sequential Circuits Pro One (J-Wire) with black plastic case

TWO Traynor KB-4 Keyboard amps ("Raglani" stenciled in white on bottom)

Pedal board case

Flower Electronics Little Blue Boy Deluxe custom build modular synth
with wood sides
3ms (4MS) Noise Swash Pedal, silver

Boss Super Shifter (blue pedal)


Sony walkmen

Behrenger 12-channel mixer (silver)

Moog Ring Modulator Moogerfooger pedal

Line 6 DL4 delay modeler

Shure microphone beta 51

DJ case with new headphones and tools, all my patch cords, including
several expensive adaptors and color cables

Mac Powerbook laptop computer

Garwin GPS

Steve Hauschildt's stolen gear:

Moog Micromoog with flight case

Moog Lowpass filter Moogerfooger pedal

Frostwave resonator filter pedal

Akai Headrush pedal

Boss Graphic EQ (white pedal)

E.H. Small Stone phaser pedal

Behrenger xenix mixer

Various cables and adaptors

HEALTH Announce New LP Details, Featuring Such Uplifting Tracks As “Die Slow,” “Eat Flesh,” and “Kill Everyone Because Life Is Not Worth Living, FUCKER”

HEALTH never shied away from their dark noise-punk leanings. And doesn't look like they'll shy away anytime soon. Take, for example, the tracklisting for their new album Get Color, due September 8 on Lovepump United:

1. In Heat
2. Die Slow
3. Nice Girls
4. Death+
5. Before Tigers
6. Severin
7. Eat Flesh
8. We Are Water
9. In Violet

I don’t know about you, but I’m genuinely terrified to hear how harsh a song called “Eat Flesh” sounds, especially since Get Color was recorded in a not-so-great part of Lincoln Heights in Los Angeles. I even hear The Crips totally recorded a guest-spot on a few of the tracks. Spooky! To hear the first single, “Die Slow,” you can visit HEALTH’s Muxtape page. Or go see them on tour this summer and hear it in person:
06.18.09 – Toronto, Ontario – Horseshoe Tavern
06.20.09 – Brooklyn, NY – Danbro (New York Night Train Happening) &
06.26.09 – Calgary, Alberta – Sled Island Festival
06.27.09 – Calgary, Alberta – Sled Island Festival
08.21.09 – Kiewit, Belgium – Pukkelpop Festival
08.22.09 – Biddinghuizen, Netherlands – Lowlands Festival

& Awesome Color, Kid Congo Powers, DJ Mr. Jonathan Toubin

Sabre Smoothin’ and Harem Goosin’: New Sir Richard Bishop Album and Tour

Hey kids, do you love Middle Eastern music but hate the paralyzing stereotype of fanaticism and chaos that comes with enjoying it? Have you been looking for a genuine dose of incense-drenched North African guitar grooves without that pesky stigma of perpetual instability? Hmm, but have you been looking... locally? Let’s say around Arizona or California ways? Ha, I’m not surprised! If you’d looked ‘round there, you would’ve already found former Sun City Girl Sir Richard Bishop, and boy howdy if that white boy ain’t programmed by God or Allah or whoever else to provide the perfect soundtrack for a litter to carry the most beautiful virgin in the Ottoman Empire through a particularly busy Tangiers market soon as his hands touch guitar.

In fact, ‘ol Richard is heading out on a U.S.A. tour pretty damn soon. Plus his brand new album The Freak of Araby will be out May 26 through Drag City, giving you the perfect opportunity to savor the luxurious aroma of recorded Middle Eastern guitar music that doesn’t support terrorism! We’re all winning today, America!

05.22.09 - Oakland, CA - The Stork Club
05.29.09 - Santa Cruz Mountains, CA - Historic Brookdale Lodge *
05.31.09 - San Diego, CA - Bar Pink
06.01.09 - Phoenix, AZ - Modified Arts
06.03.09 - Denton, TX - Rubber Gloves
06.04.09 - Austin, TX - Mohawk
06.08.09 - Athens, GA - Tasty World
06.09.09 - Asheville, NC - Grey Eagle
06.10.09 - Greensboro, NC - Square One
06.11.09 - Baltimore, MD - The Talking Head Club
06.12.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's
06.13.09 - New York, NY - Studio at Webster Hall
06.14.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg $
06.16.09 - Easthampton, MA - Flywheel
06.17.09 - Boston, MA - Middle East Upstairs
06.18.09 - Portland, ME - Space Gallery
06.20.09 - Montreal, Canada - Lab Synthese
06.21.09 - Toronto, Canada - Music Gallery
06.22.09 - Rochester, NY - Bug Jar
06.23.09 - Pittsburgh, PA - Your Inner Vagabond
06.24.09 - Louisville, KY - Skull Alley
06.25.09 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle
06.26.09 - Iowa City, IA - Picador
06.27.09 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
06.30.09 - Seattle, WA - Crocodile
07.01.09 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir
07.02.09 - Eugene, OR - University of Oregon Campus
07.03.09 - San Francisco, CA – Bottom of the Hill

* Bachelorette

$ Bill Callahan

Sunset Rubdown Tour with Nothing Clever Tacked On

So, it is not much of a secret that I have a man crush on the talent of Spencer Krug (were it a secret, it is no more). Soon to be Dragonslayers, Sunset Rubdown will be heading off on tour with other creatures of legend Elfin Saddle and Witchies. According to the band’s label, Jagjaguwar, the tour finds them in unlikely dragon haunts, but chances are people who enjoy their music might well live there anyway. Hopefully Sunset Rubdown will be sporting this totally tubular instrument to show their enthusiasm for the new album: BEHOLD!

Dragonslayer is due June 23, but if you pre-order now, you'll get a digital download tomorrow, May 21.

06.11.09 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East Downstairs
06.12.09 - Brooklyn, NY - Studio B
06.13.09 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda's
06.14.09 - Washington, DC - Black Cat
06.15.09 - Chapel Hill, NC - Local 506
06.16.09 - Atlanta, GA - The Drunken Unicorn
06.20.09 - Austin, TX - Mohawk
06.22.09 - Tucson, AZ - Plush
06.23.09 - Los Angeles, CA - Echoplex
06.24.09 - San Francisco, CA - The Rickshaw Stop
06.26.09 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge
06.27.09 - Seattle, WA - Chop Suey
06.28.09 - Victoria, BC - Sugar Nightclub
06.30.09 - Vancouver, BC - Richard's on Richards
07.02.09 - Calgary, AB - The Marquee Room
07.06.09 - Minneapolis, MN - 7th Street Entry
07.07.09 - Chicago, IL - Logan Square Auditorium
07.08.09 - Bloomington, IN - Jake's Nightclub
07.10.09 - Toronto, ONT - Lee's Palace
07.11.09 - Montreal, QC - Il Motore (sorry, no Witchies!)

All dates w/ Elfin Saddle, Witchies

RIAA Looking for People Who Hate File-Sharers and Enjoy Lawsuits: 62 New Lawsuits in April

If you’ve ever felt a twisted sense of satisfaction in people getting sued and file-sharers being brought down to size, join the RIAA! Thanks to a government bailout, the RIAA will almost certainly be looking to improve on their record of 62 lawsuits in April, which means there’s plenty of scope for a young, ambitious go-getter like yourself to start taking those pesky file-sharers to court.

No holds-barred suing! That’s what this country needs! Apply today!