Wu-Tang Clan announce US tour details — or are they the dates of secret rituals that will bring about the WuPocalypse?

Wu-Tang Clan announce US tour details — or are they the dates of secret rituals that will bring about the WuPocalypse?

I know I just mentioned that the Wu-Tang Clan have announced dates for an upcoming tour, but I’m sure that the question you’re asking is, “What is the WuPocalypse?” Well, for the uneducated and uninitiated, the WuPocalypse is an impending event, described in detail in the WuBibleQuranWu, that will be brought about by the members of the Wu-Tang Clan and will cleanse the world of all things unclean and unhip-hop. The Lost Eight WuTribes of WuIsrael will reconvene at the Holy Site of Wu and will compete in WuCombat against the forces of evil and destruction until the lengthy battle, known as the WuRagnarok, has ended and the world has been cleaned of all things villainous and devilish, creating the paradisiacal world of WuVana, or WuVen.

As part of WuPocalypse preparations, the Wu-Tang Clan will be, as mentioned above, heading out on a North American tour that starts in San Diego and ends on New Year’s Eve in Pennsylvania. Astrologers and astronomers alike have agreed that Pennsylvania may be the lost Holy Site of Wu (which is strange because, well, would anyone ever guess that Pennsylvania would ever be described as “holy?” No, they wouldn’t) and the New Year’s Eve show may be the site of the final Secret WuRitual that will begin the WuPocalypse. Regardless, this tour should be pretty WuAwesome.

Wu-Tang Clan WuPocalypse tour:

12.04.10 - San Diego, CA - 4th & B
12.05.10 - Los Angeles, CA - Club Nokia
12.10.10 - Dallas, TX - Granada Theatre
12.12.10 - Houston, TX - Numbers
12.22.10 - Boston, MA - Wilbur Theatre
12.26.10 - New Haven, CT - Toad’s Place
12.28.10 - Providence, RI - Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel
12.30.10 - Philadelphia, PA - Trocadero
12.31.10 - Millvale, PA - Small’s Theatre

• Wu-Tang Clan: http://www.wutang-corp.com

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