I Bet It Would Be a Really Funny Joke to Walk into the Living Room with a Backpack and Hiking Boots on and Tell Your Friends That You’re Going to See ‘Wilderness’ While Making a Really Grand Swooping Gesture with Your Right Arm Like You Mean to Take in All of Nature, Then You Get in Your Car and Drive to One of the Upcoming Wilderness Shows

I'd even wager to bet that it'd be so funny that you should try to meet up with the band after the show and tell them to get a load of the priceless gag you pulled on your buds while they sat around on the couch and played Rock Band. Then thank me when my sweet joke scores you a roadie position with Wilderness. And watch as the joke comes full circle and you really do absorb the beauty of nature while gazing out the window of their big rig -- your new home.

Wilderness are touring in support of their new album (k)no(w)here which Jagjaguwar is releasing November 4, and the tour kicks off November 19 at the Cake Shop in New York. So start practicing for your big stunt, because I can guarantee you, brother; this one is too funny to get through without cracking up. And you just might end up going (so)me(w)here!

(k)no(w)here Tracklist:

* San Serac

# Tammar

% Thanks Brandon!

Method Man and Redman Head Out on Tour, Plan New Album, Frolic in Field While Holding Hands and Smoking Blunts

If last year’s Kanye vs. 50 Cent media slapfight taught us anything, it’s the good ol’ fashioned hip hop feud is dead. Rather than fire rhymes and dope beats, the bullets in this weak-as-an-anesthetized-box-turtle battle were catty remarks about record sales that Rolling Stone perplexingly saw fit to grace with a cover. Did LL Cool J vs. Kool Moe Dee ever make the cover of Rolling Stone? Fuck no! And that shit spawned “Mama Said Knock You Out”!

Well if hip-hop feuds are dead, thank the gods for Method Man and Redman, the pioneers of what should be rap’s latest trend: hip-hop friendship. Method and Red have been straight up pals for years, documenting their antics on wax with 1999’s Blackout!, on the big screen with the American classic How High, and on the small screen with their unfortunately short-lived sitcom Method and Red and even shorter-lived prank show Stung. But through all their many projects both together and solo, the two have stayed true to two unshakeable principles: to get high as hell every day and stay great motherfucking friends. Maybe the rest of the hip-hop community could learn a lesson from these two good buds who enjoy good bud, always together, always friends.

So get out of the house immediately, America, and catch Method and Red on their Still High tour. If you can’t make it to one of the shows, the dudes understand, but they’d appreciate it if you could pick up their latest record, Blackout 2, when it drops in December. Do it for yourself, but mostly, do it for your old friends, Method and Red. They both love you very much.

Vampire Weekend Piss Off Smaller Cities By Only Playing Major Cities On Upcoming Tour

Cincinnati, Sacramento, and Milwaukee are pissed, and they’re not going to stand for it much longer! It seems that the internet’s favorite band, Vampire Weekend, has gone and scheduled a tour for December that only includes major cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, Boston, New York City, Portland, and, uh, New York City. Not cool, dudes; what about that 15-year-old girl in Des Moines who has the lyrics to “Oxford Comma” written all over her algebra notebook? Or those college freshmen from Florida State University that still think it’s cool to throw dance parties to “A-Punk”?

Next time you’re planning a tour, Vampire Weekend, even a short one, think about all those smaller cities that are missing out.

Vampire’s December Weekend:

Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo To Release Alone II November 25th… I SAID: Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo To Release Alone II On November 25th! Hello?? Anybody???

"Alone." At this point, that's kinda the way we'd all like to picture mercurial Weezer frontman and patron saint of latter day, not-entirely-ironic mustache cultivation Rivers Cuomo, isn't it? I mean, seriously, if the guy was locked up in a tiny cell somewhere for the rest of his days, we first of all wouldn't have to hear any more songs about how cool it is to be uncoolly self-aware of how anti-cool it is to be uncoollishly cool-esque or whatever. And second, at least then he'd already be in jail, which would save the high courts of indie rock a lot of time and hassle in convicting him for attempting yet another assassination on his own legacy.

But alas, for the time being at least, Rivers Cuomo "alone" doesn't have anything to do with him being cast out of legitimate arts/entertainment society. Instead, it merely denotes another underwhelming release of slap-dash home recordings, pot brownie-fueled geek jams, and early demos of eventual Weezer "hits" that were, you know, later recorded more capably by the band itself. Alone II: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo, the second volume of Cuomo's money-mining journey within, is set for release November 25 via the good ol' Geffen label.

In case you forgot due to repeated listens of The Red Album (TMT Review) that pushed all other songs out of your brain, the first volume featured demo versions of hits like "Buddy Holly," a cover of Ice Cube's "The Bomb," and other understandably unreleased tracks, including several that were culled from the band's unreleased... ugh... space opera Songs From the Black Hole. What manner of forgotten corpses will be ruthlessly trod up from Cuomo's moneygreen ego pond by his latest round of self-aggrandizing canon fire? Well, unfortunately there's no further details as of yet. But if it's any consolation, you'll probably find out for yourself this Christmas when your Grandma plucks it off the Best Buy "new releases" rack... in all its slotMusic glory?

How To Get Your Free Dr. Pepper From Guns N’ Roses

Hey, remember when Dr. Pepper promised everyone a free soda if Guns N’ Roses were to release their long-awaited new album, Chinese Democracy, sometime in 2008 (TMT News)? Well, now that the album has a release date of November 23 (TMT News), it looks like Dr. Pepper is delivering on their word. Here's how:

- Step One: On November 23, drive your GNR car over to Best Buy, where the album will be available exclusively, and then come home and visit Dr. Pepper’s website.
- Step Two: Register with the site to receive your coupon for a free 20-oz. Dr. Pepper.
- Step Three: When your coupon arrives, redeem it at your local Dr. Pepper retailer.
- Step Four: Enjoy while listening to Chinese Democracy, of course.

Don’t forget the fine print too: “Coupons will be available for 24 hours, starting at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time on Nov. 23, 2008. Allow 4-6 weeks for coupon to arrive. Coupons will expire on Feb. 28, 2009. Limit one coupon per person. Full terms and conditions available at www.drpepper.com.”

This guy should get at least a 24 pack.

Wzt Hearts Breaking Up, Baltimore Hearts Breaking Too

It seems that the Baltimore Scene (TMT Article) just grew a little quieter. The Charm City-based band Wzt Hearts (TMT Review) (pronounced “Wet”) will be calling it quits after a pretty solid four-year run. Member Jason Urick commented to Pitchfork:

We are now spread through three states, [and] the challenges of staying active while being physically displaced from one another eventually took [their] toll as we all have been involved with other aspects of our [lives] as well.

But fans of the noisy Hearts fret not! All four members of the band will be perusing other projects, so output from these dudes will continue. Starting with Jason Urick, he is just finishing up an album under hibernating moniker moonstealingproject (say that five times fast), as well as a 12-inch and a 7-inch with Half Japanese's Jason Willett using his own name. Jeff Donaldson will be working the boards for These Are Powers on their jaunt in Europe and will continue work on his 8-bit project NoTendo. Mike Haleta will be recording an album with Voltage Spooks and has been recording music with wife Dawn as backbreakerneckbrace. Shaun Flynn will continue to be a Baltimore figurehead playing in various Charm City groups. Finally, two former bandmates Jeff Donaldson and Mike Haleta will be playing a pair of dates at the Cake Shop in New York.

Jeff Donaldson and Mike Haleta tourdates:
11-28 New York, NY - Cake Shop
12-19 New York, NY - Cake Shop

Goldfrapp Gets Busy This Fall

It seems so obvious to me. Why hasn't someone tapped Goldfrapp to do a James Bond theme? Someone who actually sounds cinematic, instead of Jack White? I guess not understanding these kind of matters is why I don't work in the building on the corner of Hollywood and Vine. This, of course, hasn't got Allison down, as she's busy with a slew of products ready for the impending holiday season.

Despite dropping Seventh Tree (TMT Review) -- her best album since Felt Mountain, in my opinion -- earlier this year, the album is getting a quick and handsome re-release featuring a special-edition DVD package. The DVD will include the videos for "Happiness," "A&E," and "Caravan Girl," as well as choice songs from her June 21 performance at De La Warr Pavilion in Bexhill-on-Sea. You can also expect all the usual backstage documentation and antics. This edition is obviously aimed at the Goldfrapp fanatic, but if you don't already own the excellent Seventh Tree, November 25 would be a good time to trek down to your favorite media shop and pick up the CD and DVD package, priced to own.

For more Goldie Goodness, her iTunes Original Sessions have been collected and released as a digital download. The sessions include classic Goldfrapp tracks, new material, commentary, and everything else relevant for a big fat ol' compilation download. Head over to Mute Records for more info.

Finally, why don't you also head over to Goldfrapp's website if you have some down time, because it's awesome and trippy (not insane-trippy like Paper Rad's, but definitely one of the more visually engaging artist websites).

Fennesz to Release New Solo LP And Collaborates on Project Titled “Till The Old World’s Blown Up And A New One Is Created,” But Will His Rhetorical Flourishes Lead to Palin-Like Seclusion?

Exciting news coming from the Fennesz camp lately. First off, Touch is set to release a new Fennesz solo album, Black Sea, on vinyl November 25 and CD December 9. (What, no pay-what-you-want scheme, Wal-Mart exclusive, or Live Nation 360 deal? Now that's avant-garde!) Using acoustic and electric guitars, synths, electronics, lloopp, and computers, the album has been described by my dear friend as something that'll "blow your friggin' mind" and as a "mind melter of the highest order." How deliciously violent. Although the 6-track LP comes out earlier, the CD comes with two extra tracks, "The Colour of Three" and "Vacuum."

Even sooner, though, is Fennesz's project with multi-instrumentalists Werner Dafeldecker and Martin Brandlmayr. Titled Till The Old World's Blown Up And A New One Is Created (both the group and LP), the album's process features improvisations "reworked into three brief tracks, one edited by each member of the trio. Then these pieces are mined for a few very short fragments. These, in turn, form the core of a much longer piece, painstakingly assembled around repeated motifs salvaged from the wreckage."

Is this how The Hold Steady write their music? Anyway, the album is set for release November 3 via Mosz Records. You can listen to one of its tracks, "Me Son," at Mosz' website.

Black Sea CD tracklisting (courtesy of Pitchfork):

Story of the Yardbirds DVD Coming Soon; Kid Midnight Thinks That The Yardbirds are One of the Coolest Bands Ever, Despite Their Connection To/With Eric Clapton; Kid Midnight Wishes that Eric Clapton Didn’t Have The Same First Name As Kid Midnight or Was a Better Guitar Player Who Didn’t Steal All of His Riffs From Blues Musicians That He Said He Idolized; Kid Midnight Thinks Eric Clapton Can Go Fuck Himself; Kid Midnight Thinks Jimmy Page is Pretty Cool Though, Even If He Did Sleep With Underage Girls, Supposedly

Hey, you little music-loving people! Do you like guitars? Do you like bands? Do you like British guys? Well, hot damn, have I got a DVD to tell you about.

If you want to learn a WHOLE BUNCH about one of the coolest bands that ever existed, then go down to a store that sells DVDs and pick up Yardbirds – The Story Of on November 11. This documentary covers the band's history from 1963-1968, with a shit-ton of original music, archival footage, interviews with band members and “associates” (groupies and drug dealers), and behind-the-scenes looks of the band. The DVD also has footage of Eric Clapton (like I said in the headline, fuck him), Jeff Beck (played with Rod Stewart -- boo), and a young Jimmy Page playing guitar with the band on German TV recorded in 1967. GERMAN! 1967! WOW!

What makes them one of the coolest bands ever? Well, besides the fact that Jimmy Page played guitar for them (fuck those other two band members; they suck), listen to “I’m Your Man” or “Over Under Sideways Down” or, of course, the classic “For Your Love.” All those songs rule!

Prassibly the Most Important News Story of the Week: Ex-Fugee’s Member Pras Busted for Skipping Out on Recording Fee… by a Newscaster Named Tappy

Kind of like To Catch a Predator, except a little more uncomfortable and way more irrelevant to anyone, the ABC News affiliate in Chelsea, NY decided on Monday that it was their civic duty to find the MC from the once-prasperous hip-hop group and shame him into paying a $19,000 recording studio debt accrued during the recording of Pras’ solo not-platinum album.

Hard-nosed reporter Tappy tracked Pras Michel down at Rutgers University and questioned the artist about the tardy payments. (That’s kinda funny; I always thought that he attended Prasbyterian College.) Anyway, the praspects of Fight Club studio owner Ray Devers receiving the entirety of his overdue check do seem prasmising however, as the rapper laid himself prastrate at his debtor’s feet and put down a $5000 down payment the day after the ambush. It remains unclear whether the studio owner will choose to prasecute.

Check it out for yourself (Miss Info via Prefix):




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