Radiohead Finally Confirm European Tour Dates, Hell Freezes Over, Tickets on Sale NOW, Hell Warms Up Slightly Due to Greenhouse Gas Emissions
Radiohead certainly know how to tempt their fans, don't they? Instead of just announcing their tourdates and the corresponding list of venues all at once, the British boys have been slowly revealing information about their upcoming European tour over the past few weeks. Nothing like waving a T-Bone steak in a dog's face and making him jump for it, am I right?
So, keeping with the Radiohead way of doing things, I'm going to write the rest of this news story using weird symbols and punctuation and in a long drawn out format where I only divulge random bits of information.
In_other RH news/ discbox was_released//tues..._ _
“jigsaw falling_into_place” vid on_youtube now/originally_feat. in/webcast nov.9th.
tickts on sale now at radiohead.com/tourdates. general sale Frrriday at 9 AM GMT.
7-album release comes with bonus live_prfrmnc @ the Les Eurockéennes De Belfort festival (France_July 2003). digital. Cover of Neil Young's "After The Gold Rush."
Â£ tour_date e e _s:
Expect Fewer Gifts Under the Christmas Tree If Your Santa Works for Song BMG – Layoffs To Come Before Year’s End; Torrent Users Ruin Holiday Season
Warner Music Group, EMI, Universal Music Group, and Song BMG together make up the "big four" of major labels, collectively controlling 80% of the United States' music market and 70% of the world music market. So, when Sony BMG reported that their revenues were down from $948 million to only $851 million in their second quarter filings, the proverbial fire was lit under many asses. And so, even with impressive late-year showings from Britney Spears' Blackout (over 1,000,000 copies sold worldwide) and Alicia Keys' As I Am (over 1,400,000!), it's too little, too late in the eyes of Big Poppa Bertelsmann.
Although Warner Group and Universal both do the Hanukkah thing and EMI rolls with Kwanzaa, rumor has it that stockings will be considerably lighter when December 25 rolls around for Sony BMG employees this year. Silicon Alley Insider is reporting that between 40 and 70 mid-level executives will be laid off before the end of the year, thanks to you pesky downloaders as they'd like you to believe. Had you only picked up a few copies of Chris Brown's Exclusive, the snow would fall peacefully, kisses would be exchanged under the mistletoe, and every boy and girl would have the trinkets they covet.
Instead, at Sony BMG, it's beginning to look a lot like Shitmas.
If you are not from the Balkans and have not heard Balkan Beat Box, I recommend you check them out. The duo, which consists of Ori Kaplan (formerly of Gogol Bordello) and Tamir Muskat (Firewater), incorporates traditional Balkan, Jewish, and Mediterranean sounds into modern styles like electronica and dancehall pop. Unfortunately, whenever I play their music for my friends who are actually from the Balkans, the conversation invariably goes something like this:
Nat Towsen: Balkan Beat Box is great!
Marjan Stojnev: Nat, this may be new to you, but I’ve been hearing these sounds my whole life.
Nat Towsen: Then perhaps you should try my new band, American Rock Group.
American Rock Group is a duo consisting of Jeff Tweedy (formerly of Wilco) and myself that incorporates traditional blues, country, and folk sounds into modern styles like rock ‘n’ roll. We are steadily gaining popularity in Eastern Europe, where American music has never been heard before.
Balkan Beat Box Tourdates:
Also, in case any of our American readers were curious, this is where the Balkans are:
I say, is that really you? I would never have expected to find you here at the Imperial Hotel so very late in the season! Ah, but I’m sure the Ambassador keeps very busy working on that simply delightful collection of motorcars you have! When was it I last saw you? That’s right, of course, how could I have forgotten? It was at the Countess d’Orgel’s Christmas ball in Vienna! Such an absolutely charming woman, the Countess, don’t you agree?
Well, I must say you are looking splendid. Do stop by our chateau this Friday! We’ve assembled the most exquisite collection of people; the Duke has really outdone himself this time! You know how we pride ourselves on being patrons of the arts, and we’ve acquired some simply sublime people from America — jazz musicians they’re called. They’re just wild! What’s that you say? You’re already engaged to attend a performance by Dan Boeckner of Wolf Parade’s side project, The Handsome Furs? Well, I do enjoy a handsome fur myself, but I’m afraid I don’t quite understand. An indie rock band, you say? On tour? Alright, dear, well, you enjoy yourself with your new motorcar and indie rock band, and don’t hesitate to look up the Duke and myself next time you’re in Carlsbad. Kisses!
“Gliddy glub gloopy/ Nibby nabby noopy/ La la la lo lo/ Sabba sibby sabba/ Nooby abba nabba/ Le le lo lo/ tooby ooby walla/ Nooby abba naba/ Early morning singing song.”
Needless to say, to someone accustomed to the bookish, transcendental lyrics like these lovingly displayed above, the generic, low-brow, and downright lifeless words of chief Mountain Goat John Darnielle don’t really rocketh my world with the same poetic intensity of say, Avril or Sir Jon Bon Jovi. You would think with 27 albums to his credit that he would eventually hit some sort of stride and start to produce a few bon mots of quality. But noooooooo.
Nah, I can’t keep up this charade any longer. It is a given that Darnielle has a gift of lyrical gab matched by very few (and peerless songwriting finesse to boot), so whenever word spreads that a new Mountain Goats album is coming down the pike, we get unusually giddy. Assisted by Franklin Bruno, Annie Clark, Erik Friedlander, Peter Hughes, Jon Wurster, and The Bright Mountain Choir, Heretic Pride will be released through 4AD on February 19, just in time to give your postal carrier [Editor's note: awwww yeah!!!] his or her belated Valentine’s Day gift. The album was produced by Scott Solter and John Vanderslice, features art by the godlike Vaughan Oliver, and contains 13 songs, none of which will match the nadir of expressive wizardry, Coldplay’s “Yellow” (“for you I’d bleed myself dry”... [oh no you wouldn’t, you whinging ass-bag!]).
1. Sax Rohmer #1
2. San Bernardino
3. Heretic Pride
5. New Zion
6. So Desperate
7. In the Craters on the Moon
8. Lovecraft in Brooklyn
9. Tianchi Lake
10. How to Embrace a Swamp Creature
11. Marduk T-Shirt Men’s Room Incident
12. Sept 15 1983
13. Michael Myers Resplendent
No, no, you're wrong, George Bernard Shaw... a heretic is always better live!
12.08.07 - London, England - Union Chapel
12.09.07 - Manchester, England - Moho Live
12.10.07 - Glasgow, Scotland - Oran Mor
It’s Never Too Late to Show Some Support; Locust Relief Fund Not Meant to Relieve Anyone from Locust
As the story goes, November 25 was playing out like another shitty-as-usual Sunday evening in St. Louis. The Locust were touring in support of their third full-length release (if you can call a 23-minute release a full-length), New Erections, when their van was broken into and things were stolen. Note my use of the un-accusingly passive voice, employed to reserve judgment on the sort of low-life, hell-bound trash who break into tour vans and steal meager amounts of worldly belongings that include but are not limited to: three computers and, as reported by the Three One G: Locust Relief Fund, "phone chargers, money, and anything else you can think of."
"Three One G is all about family, and we consider The Locust nothing less. We are doing what we can to help these guys out, but we are reaching out to you the fans to help bring some resolve to this situation."
So, I wonder what exactly was stolen from The Locust? Four nylon body suits with mesh eye pieces? Perhaps an embarrassingly extensive collection of Detroit-based disco albums circa 1972, thus their failure to be explicitly reported as missing? Maybe the October issue of Musikkpraksis magazine and a Norwegian-to-English dictionary (I have a feeling Justin Pearson is just that sort of hip)?
Monetary donations and literary condolences are being accepted at email@example.com, so, fans, hop to it. And haters, sit tight.
There's a bar in NYC's Alphabet City that boasts the best jukebox of them all, by far. If they've got an artist, they've got their entire discography. Be nice and I'll tell you which. The point is, I was sitting on a barstool watching Art Brut's Eddie Argos struggle with the ball mouse on the jukebox (note: having a ball mouse on a jukebox in a bar seems kind of cruel, but I guess that's the price you pay), and I genuinely can't tell you if I helped him or not. That chunk of the memory is gone. But just know that I really, really wanted to.
Coming off a tour of the States with The Hold Steady, Art Brut are picking up some dates seemingly everywhere but the U.S., in continued support of their latest, It's A Bit Complicated. Someone, anyone, please buy me a plane ticket immediately. Nag nag nag.
What's wrong? Scared to commit?:
I won a Good Housekeeping Magazine contest earlier this year, in which the winner, randomly chosen, had a chance to hang out with Sunn O))) and Boris for any Saturday of their choosing. Last Saturday was finally the day that worked best for all of us, so I had Sunn O))) and Boris fly over to my apartment in Madison, WI. I was extremely excited.
Too bad Sunn O))) and Boris are extremely boring in person. Most of the time was spent "chillaxing," per Stephen O'Malley's request. We seriously spent most of the day just sitting there watching TV, barely even talking. Sadly enough, the highlight was when we had dinner at Applebee's (almost went to Perkins), if only for the dollar beers. Sunn O))) and Boris kept talking about how the day was "just what they needed" and that "these lazy Saturdays are the best." All I could think about was going home early. And I did, as they wanted to hang out there and "watch the game."
Anyway, Sunn O))) are playing the Portishead-curated All Tomorrow's Parties and will perform the album Altar (TMT Review) with Boris the next day, followed by scattered dates around Europe. I can assure you Sunn O))) and Boris aren't boring live.
* with Boris Presenting Altar
Meanwhile, Boris are releasing a new album on Southern Lord next April with help from Michio Kurihara and boring-ass Stephen O' Malley. They've titled it Smile. But, I ask you Boris, how can you smile when you're not happy? When everything in your life has turned to shit in just three months? When all the people you've ever loved have now turned their backs on you? You'll never experience the pain that I have, Boris. Never.
[Photo: Jenny Mcgee]
When is it going to stop? Answer: probably never. The RIAA, in yet another fabulous attempt to sue already debt-ridden college students off their asses, has sent out its tenth wave of litigation letters to places of higher education across the country. The letters ask schools to specifically identify students whose IP addresses the RIAA already has and to forward pre-litigation letters to those students. Wondering if you should be erasing your existence from the internets? Don't hit "delete account" so quickly, unless you go to...
But of course, the fun doesn't stop there, no! The government is against you, too. Rep. George Miller (D-Calif.) recently introduced his College Opportunity and Affordability Act of 2007 to Congress. Buried in the act are provisions which:
- encourage colleges to provide information to students and employees about illegal downloading and its legal consequences;
- require colleges to create alternatives to illegal downloading for students and explore illegal downloading deterrents; and
- authorize the Secretary of Education to donate funds to schools that make advances in discouraging and stopping illegal downloads.
Spokespeople from both the RIAA and the MPAA are hailing the legislation as an important step forward in the war against illegal downloads. What they really mean is that the bill will make it easier for them to invade students' privacy and force colleges to bend to the organizations' wills. Hey, I hear there's a sale on telescreens over at Best Buy this week.
"Did you check the post today, darling?" former Kinks singer/songwriting Ray Davies asked between sips of his early afternoon latte.
"Oh, it's just a bunch of AARP pamphlets, as usual," replied an aging blonde, whose twinkling eyes were the last vestige of the 1960s knockout she once was.
"Wait, here you go. It's another one of those royalties checks from that Anderson chap. I guess he made another one of his quirky motion pictures this year," the woman chirped.
"Ah, fuck!" said Davies, grabbing the check begrudgingly. "Have I no shame?" he muttered under his breath. "Have I no shame..."
Former Kinks frontman Ray Davies, the force behind such classic albums as Arthur and The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society, will finally see his new solo record arrive Stateside February 19. Working Man's Cafe, Davies' supposed "American record," was initially released October 22 in the UK, appearing for free a day earlier in the Sunday Times newspaper in a strategy also employed by Prince with the release of this year's Planet Earth.
The LP is only Davies' second official solo release after 2006's Other People's Lives, in addition to the 1985 film-and-album combo featuring Return to Waterloo and the partly spoken-word autobiographical live album, The Storyteller. Unfortunately, Working Man's Cafe is not a concept album about Davies getting shot in the leg while chasing down muggers in New Orleans. It does, however, include these tracks: