Watching Someone Else Masturbate

Wishing I could have lived my teenage years during the 70’s.

Protopunk

01. Patti Smith - “Free Money” (Horses)
02. Television - “Marquee Moon” (Marquee Moon)

Punk

03. Sex Pistols - “Pretty Vacant” (Never Mind the…)
04. The Clash - “The Guns of Brixton” (London Calling)
05. Ramones - “Blitzkrieg Bop” (Ramones)

Post-Punk

06. Magazine - “Shot by Both Sides” (Real Life)
07. Joy Division - “Disorder” (Unknown Pleasures)
08. Wire - “Reuters” (Pink Flag)

Meanwhile in Germany….

09. Neu! - “Hallo Gallo” (Neu!)
10. Can - “Oh Yeah” (Tago Mago)
11. David Bowie - “Heroes” (“Heroes”)

Breakup after a long relationship by finding out terrible things she’s been doing

The Kübler-Ross model, in song.

01. Radiohead - “How To Disappear Completely” (Kid A)
02. Shellac - “Prayer to God” (1000 Hurts)
03. Stars - “One More Night” (Set Yourself On Fire)
04. Swans - “God Damn the Sun” (The Burning World)
05. Daniel Johnston - “True Love Will Find You in the End” (Welcome To My World)

im sad

01. Muse - “Falling Away With You” (Absolution)
02. Gilbert O’Sullivan - “Alone Again (Naturally)” (Himself)
03. The Bittersweets - “Hurtin’ Kind” (Self Titled)
04. Richard Walters - “Brittle Bones” (The Animal)
05. Billie The Vision & The Dancers - “I Let Someone Else In” (The World According To Pablo)
06. Rogue Wave - “Eyes” (Just Friends Soundtrack)
07. Neutral Milk Hotel - “King Of Carrot Flowers Part 1” (In The Aeroplane Over The Sea)
08. Fleet Foxes - “He Doesn’t Know Why” (Ragged Wood)
09. Ray LaMontagne - “Trouble” (Trouble)
10. Chicken Shack - “I’d Rather Go Blind” (A Time To Remember)
11. Air Traffic - “No More Running Away” (Fractured Life)
12. Ingrid Michaelson - “Giving Up” (Be OK)
13. Justin Farren - “The Painter Song” (The Sound Of Flight)
14. Simon And Garfunkel - “The Dangling Conversation” (Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, And Thyme)
15. Slow Club - “Sorry About The Doom” (Yeah So)
16. Cat Power - “I Found A Reason” (The Covers Record)
17. Richie Valens - “My Darling is Gone” (Richie)
18. Cake - “End Of The Movie” (Pressure Chief)

Mailman, bring me no more synths!

01. Titus Andronicus - “Fear and Loathing in Mahwah, NJ” (The Airing of Grievances)
02. Jay Reatard - “Nightmares” (Blood Visions)
03. The Mountain Goats - “Going to Georgia” (Zopilote Machine)
04. The Almighty Defenders - “Bow Down and Die” (The Almighty Defenders)
05. Big Black - “Kerosene” (Atomizer)
06. Captain Chaos - “The Best Note Ever” (May All Liars Burn In Hell)
07. The Clash - “London’s Burning” (The Clash)
08. Foot Ox - “About The Ocean” (It’s Like Our Little Machine)

I’m moving across the ocean, don’t forget me love.

01. Weezer - “Across the Sea” (Pinkerton)
02. Neko Case - “Don’t Forget Me” (Middle Cyclone)
03. The Rolling Stones - “Moonlight Mile” (Sticky Fingers)
04. Arcade Fire - “Headlights Look Like Diamonds” (Aracde Fire EP)
05. Liars - “The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack” (Drums Not Dead)
06. Sunset Rubdown - “You Go On Ahead” (Dragonslayer)
07. Neil Young - “Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere” (” ” ” “)
08. The White Stripes - “I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself” (Elephant)
09. Spoon - “The Ghost of You Lingers” (Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga)
10. Peter Bjorn & John - “Let’s Call It Off” (Writer’s Block)
11. Morrissey - “I Don’t Mind If You Forget Me” (Viva Hate)
12. No Age - “My Life’s Alright Without You” (Weirdo Rippers)

My Grandma Keeps Asking Me What I’m Going To Do With My Graduate Degree

Songs about school, career, and the future that your grandma probably listened to.

01. George Olsen - “The Varsity Drag” (Spotlighting…)
02. ‘Ma’ Rainey - “Traveling Blues” (The Complete 1928 Sessions)
03. Ruth Etting - “It All Depends On You” (Love Me Or Leave Me)
04. Charley Jordan - “Cutting My ABCs” (1935 - 1937)
05. Betty Hutton - “Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief” (The Blonde Bombshell)
06. Bukka White - “District Attorney Blues” (Complete Bukka White)
07. Ink Spots - “I Don’t Want to Set the World On Fire” (The Golden Age)
08. Harry McClintock - “Hallelujah, I’m a Bum!” (Haywire Mac)

Songs to annihilate my punchbag to

01. Arch Enemy - “My Apocalypse” (Doomsday Machine)
02. Mushroomhead - “Solitaire/Unraveling” (XX)
03. Slipknot - “Duality” (Vol. III - The Subliminal Verses)
04. Stick To Your Guns - “This Is More” (For What It’s Worth)
05. Megadeth - “Tornado Of Souls” (Rust In Peace)
06. Lamb Of God - “Redneck” (Sacrament)
07. Dream Thater - “The Dance Of Eternity” (Metropolis Part II: Scenes From A Memory)
08. Kataklysm - “To Reign Again” (In The Arms Of Devastation)
09. Bullets And Octane - “I Ain’t Your Saviour” (In The Mouth Of A Young)
10. God Forbid - “Divinity” (IV: Constitution Of Treason)
11. Protest The Hero - “Bloodmeat” (Fortress)

Songs to forget you are forty

A mix of peppy and/or fuzzy songs.

01. Sunny Side Up - “Corporate Control” (Corporate Control)
02. Matt & Kim - “AM/FM Sound” (Sidewalks)
03. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - “All Hail Dracula!” (Let It Sway)
04. Tokyo Police Club - “Not Sick” (Champ)
05. Belle & Sebastian - “Come On Sister” (Belle and Sebastian Write About Love)
06. Math The Band - “Tour de Friends” (Don’t Worry)
07. Quiet Company - “It’s Better To Spend Money Like There’s No Tomorrow Than Spend Tonight Like There’s No Money” (Everyone You Love Will Be Happy Soon)
08. Passion Pit - “Live To Tell the Tale” (Chunk Of Change EP)
09. The Aquabats - “My Skateboard” (Fury Of The Aquabats)

Songs Sung by Boys, For Boys

If that’s what you need, this is what you get: immature little punk-asses.

01. Weezer - “No One Else” (The Blue Album)
02. Guided by Voices - “A Salty Salute” (Alien Lanes)
03. The Stooges - “I Wanna Be Your Dog” (The Stooges)
04. Mission of Burma - “The Ballad of Johnny Burma” (Vs.)
05. Oasis - “She’s Electric” ((What’s the Story) Morning Glory)
06. MC5 - “Kick Out the Jams” - (Kick Out the Jams)
07. Pavement - “Perfume-V” (Slanted & Enchanted)
08. The Ramones - “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue” (The Ramones)
09. The Replacements - “Bastards of Young” (Tim)
10. Jawbreaker - “Indictment” (24 Hour Revenge Therapy)

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