New Vatican Shadow LP slated for October; Dominick Fernow has not slept for years, eats only once a month

New Vatican Shadow LP slated for October; Dominick Fernow has not slept for years, eats only once a month

It’s been a big year for music: David Bowie decided to poke his head out after a decade of absence, new Oneohtrix Point Never is on the horizon as is new Tim Hecker,JAY Z and Kanye did, um, stuff, Ben Frost has gifted the world with a spate of new material, and now Dominick Fernow has finally slipped up and revealed that he is not human. It’s the only logical conclusion when one realizes that he’s been all over Europe having an unprecedented number of tour dates, yet still finds the time to keep the blood flowing for both Hospital Productions and Bed of Nails. Just the other week a new Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement landed, and, here’s a little secret children: that’s Mr. Fernow’s handiwork as well.

But the final nail in this coffin is the news (via The Quietus) of a new Vatican Shadow LP on the way. Eight new tracks of militant religious industrial ready to crank the gears of your brain back into motion. How is this flurry of activity possible for a human to accomplish? It’s not: Dominick Fernow is from the future, a far-flung evolutionary descendant of humankind sent back through time to teach us the meaning of love (and hate) and melt our ears. He does not need sleep, only takes sustenance when he truly desires it, and breathes twice a week — at exactly midnight on Wednesday and Sunday. He definitely still has sex, though; even future-people need to get their freak on. And what kind of lame evolutionary descendants wouldn’t keep mashing their bits together for fun?

So expect that later today the scientific community will be in an uproar over time travel and the future of humanity. But for the root of these discoveries, you’ll have to scurry out and buy Remember Your Black Day when it pops out October 21. All your questions will be answered, the future of humanity will be made cleared, and if you play it backwards there are hidden sex tips from the future that would make Cosmo writers blush.

Remember Your Black Day tracklisting:

01. Circumstances Quickly Became Questioned
02. Tonight Saddam Walks Amidst Ruins
03. Muscle Hijacker Tribal Affiliation
04. Contractor Corpses Hung Over the Euphrates River
05. Enter Paradise
06. Remember Your Black Day
07. Not the Son of the Desert Storm, but the Child of Chechnya
08. Jet Fumes Above the Reflecting Pool

• Hospital Productions:

Zola Jesus unveils international tour dates, music video for “Fall Back;” Fat Joe reportedly unperturbed

It’s been nearly two weeks since the official release of Zola Jesus’s latest full-length on Sacred Bones, Versions, which means it’s terribly passé for me to mention the aptness of the album’s title, given that 9/10 tracks have been previously released, albeit without the exposing influence of Australian composer and producer J.G. Thirlwell. Let it be known… a delayed music-listening schedule has prevented me from experiencing the entirety of Versions (and also from accepting that MC Hammer pants are, in fact, no longer fashionable), but for the sake of this article, the new video for the track “Fall Back” has just received a viewing and… yes. That’s definitely a music video. One that, according to NPR, was “inspired by the Japanese filmmaker Hiroshi Teshigahara, architect Frank Lloyd Wright and Soviet-era Yugoslavian monuments.” The silent and condemnable passing of the original MTV has hindered my enthusiasm for this type of media, I guess.

Meanwhile, the track itself is pretty enjoyable, and considering its wholly new status (1/10), thoughts about Nika Danilova’s next LP bring much hope for the masterpiece that has so far eluded us, despite extremely promising hints. In the meantime, this fall, international tour dates will have her, alongside a string quartet, performing the entirety of Versions. Live versions of Versions. Haw.


09.12.13 - Philadelphia, PA- International House
09.13.13 - Boston, MA - Institute Contemporary Art Boston
09.14.13 - Brooklyn, NY - Our Lady of Lebanon Cathedral
09.22.13 - Saint Paul, MN - St. Paul Chamber Orchestra
09.26.13 - San Francisco, CA- Palace of Fine Arts
09.27.13 - Hollywood, CA - Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever Cemetery (early show sold out)
09.28.13 - Seattle, WA- The Triple Door
10.03.13 - London, UK - Tabernacle
10.04.13 - Paris, France- Café de la Danse
10.05.13 - Berlin, Germany - Hau1
10.24.13 - Chicago, IL - Garfield Park Conservatory
10.25.13 - Washington, DC - Hirshhorn Museum
10.26.13 - Asheville, NC - Mountain Oasis Festival

• Zola Jesus:
• Sacred Bones:

Northern Spy’s third annual Spy Music Fest circumvents an international incident through the addition of Greg Saunier and Sean Lennon to the lineup

In early August you’ll recall that we met in a smoky back room to discuss Northern Spy’s third annual Spy Music Fest. Right, well the intel has changed, so listen up. I don’t want you going off into the field all half-cocked and causing an international incident. Most of the intel’s still good: the event’s still happening on September 7-8 and it’ll still feature acts like Loren Connors, Seaven Teares, & Diamond Terrifier. The tech is still sourced from those cutie-pies downstairs, Tiny Mix Tapes, and refreshments are coming from Sixpoint Brewery. Keep your wits about you when you imbibe, though. I had a pretty little thing in a long black dress spike my drink once when I was out in the field and I was beset by hallucinations of our founding fathers all winged and snarling for six days following.

Two major things have changed, though. First off, Thurston Moore and John Moloney won’t be in attendance as Caught on Tape on September 8. Called off on some top-secret need-to-know operation, I imagine. I can only speculate, but I’ll bet Moore’s got his American-flag dagger hilt-deep in the gut of some sonofabitch dictator somewhere. In their place, the crack team of Mystical Weapons have been called in. If you’d have read the briefing, you’d know that Mystical Weapons are Sean Lennon and Greg Saunier of Deerhoof. They’re basically the MacGyvers of improvisation, able to jam their way out of even the most dire spot. I say this as a high compliment even though I’m sure you know as well as I do that the MacGyver television program gave its viewers a hardly realistic impression or our profession. Lennon and Saunier will be joined by the projections of frequent-collaborator Martha Colburn.

The second major piece of intel that’s changed is the addition of a late Friday night festival pre-party on September 6. You know how the president rides in a motorcade so the terrorists won’t know which car he’s in? Same deal here. More performances, harder for double agents to sabotage. The pre-party will see performances from Swindella (a member of Cloud Nothings) and Colin L. Orchestra (from The USA Is a Monster). The deep-cover cross-dressing comedian Sticky Greg’ll host and root out any funny business, and Shanmations will DJ. The party will be at The Grand Victory in Brooklyn, and entry is $5 unless you’ve either got your service weapon or a festival pass on you, in which case it’s free. Pick up your tickets here so you don’t get caught out in the field with your pants down. Good luck out there, and godspeed.

Spy Music Fest lineup:

Saturday, September 7 at Spectrum (121 Ludlow)
7:00 - Driphouse
7:50 - Diamond Terrifier
8:40 - Loren Connors & Suzanne Langille
9:30 - ODO (FORMA)
10:20 - Charles Gayle Trio

Sunday, September 8 at 285 Kent
7:00 - PC Worship
7:45 - Ava Luna
8:30 - Seaven Teares
9:15 - NYMPH
10:00 - Mystical Weapons (Sean Lennon & Greg Saunier)
10:45 - Chris Forsyth & The Solar Motel Band
11:30 - Aa (a.k.a. Big A Little a)

• Northern Spy:
• Spy Music Festival 2013:

Pixies drop new four-track EP, available now on band’s mildly enhanced web destination

Surprise: Pixies have figured out how to use the internet and have dropped a surprise post-Labor Day gift for you: a brand new four-track EP, titled EP-1! The EP is brand new and features four new tracks, announced just as Labor Day was ending. It’s as if the band had suddenly figured out how to use the internet to drop a gift for you. Surprise! LOL! SMH! FML!

The EP is available now on the band’s website digitally and as a limited-edition 12-inch (+ human cloth-coverer) for $50,000. Listen to one of its tracks, “Indie Cindy,” right here:

EP-1 tracklist:

01. Andro Queen
02. Another Toe In The Ocean
03. Indie Cindy
04. What Goes Boom


09.09.13 - Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theatre
09.10.13 - Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theatre
09.11.13 - Los Angeles, CA - El Rey Theatre
09.12.13 - Los Angeles, CA - Mayan Theatre
09.15.13 - Chicago, IL - Riot Fest
09.17.13 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
09.18.13 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
09.19.13 - New York, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg
09.20.13 - New York, NY - Bowery Ballroom
09.25.13 - London, UK - iTunes Festival
09.29.13 - Paris, FR - Olympia
09.30.13 - Paris, FR - Olympia
10.02.13 - Brussels, BE - Ancienne Belgique
10.03.13 - Brussels, BE - Ancienne Belgique
10.05.13 - Amsterdam, NL - Paradiso
10.06.13 - Amsterdam, NL - Paradiso
10.08.13 - Berlin, DE - Huxleys
10.09.13 - Berlin, DE - Huxleys
10.10.13 - Prague, CZ - Lucerna Music Hall
11.01.13 - Vienna, AT - Gasometer
11.02.13 - Geneva, CH - Thonex
11.04.13 - Milan, IT - Alcatraz
11.05.13 - Toulouse, FR - Le Phare
11.07.13 - Madrid, ES - La Riviera
11.08.13 - Madrid, ES - La Riviera
11.09.13 - Lisbon, PT - Coliseum
11.11.13 - Luxembourg, LU- Rockhal
11.13.13 - Copenhagen, DK - Falkoner
11.14.13 - Oslo, NO - Sentrum Scene
11.15.13 - Stockholm, SE - Munchen Brewery
11.18.13 - Dublin, IR - Olympia
11.19.13 - Dublin, IR - Olympia
11.21.13 - Manchester, UK - Apollo
11.22.13 - Glasgow, UK - Barrowland
11.24.13 - London, UK - Hammersmith Apollo
11.25.13 - London, UK - Hammersmith Apollo

• Pixies:

RIP: Josh Burdette, manager at Washington’s 9:30 Club

From Washington City Paper:

According to a 9:30 Club spokesperson, club manager and crew chief Josh Burdette has died.

Casual club patrons may not have known Burdette’s name, but it would have been hard not to know his stretched earlobes, surly tattoos, and friendly smile. Burdette began working at the V Street NW venue in 1997, and for about as long, he was known as the face of 9:30 Club.

• 9:30 Club:

Oneohtrix Point Never shares mystery file “Joyvtl Jvbuayf” that probably isn’t supported on your system, tour dates

Just as we were about to close the TMT offices for the long weekend, Daniel Lopatin announced that a file labeled “Joyvtl Jvbuayf” was now available for download. We were confused, but quickly decided that we’d love to download a file labeled “Joyvtl Jvbuayf” from Daniel Lopatin.

However, that file is in RealAudio format, with the following text description:

Advanced Television Systems Committee A/52 digital audio coding algorithm for use in satellite or terrestrial audio broadcasting, delivery of audio over metallic or optical cables, or storage of audio on magnetic, optical, semiconductor, or other storage media as contained in a RealNetworks RealAudio (dnet) wrapper.

The next 45 minutes were spent desperately trying to open “Joyvtl Jvbuayf.ra” to no avail, searching troubleshooting forums from 2006 to find a workaround. Whatever audio codec needed to be installed was no longer supported by RealPlayer, and any archived early versions of RealPlayer were no longer supported by the OS. Holy shit: death by software update. Anyone who was playing the “Problem Areas” video at 1080p HD on multiple screens in their geodesic dome had unknowingly locked themselves out of the next OPN transmission.

Finally we found some shady site that could spit out an MP3 version (…at 64 kbps…) and got the audio, five minutes of song buried under a mess of quaking, blown-out radio static oscillations, which probably sounds even better streaming through some old Gateway 2000 speakers.

So what’s going on here? Is this a comment on the fleeting nature of technology? Complex corporate control over our futures/presents, and pasts? A fracturing of the timeline where we’re hearing a degraded memory of a not-yet-released album? Don’t be so quick to cry “overthinking” — “Still Life (excerpt)” was a collaboration with Nate Boyce, “Problem Areas” with Takeshi Murata, and now “Joyvtl Jvbuayf” with Cory Arcangel, all visual artists spilling over into conceptual multimedia. You take it from here, readers… [solve the title like we did].

Also check out these upcoming OPN tour dates:

09.12.13 - Troy, NY - EMPAC
09.17.13 - Brooklyn, NY - Our Lady of Lebanon Maronite Cathedral
09.22.13 - Krakow, Poland - Sacrum Profanum
09.26.13 - Leeds, UK - Howard Assembly Room
09.27.13 - Paris, France - Le Trabendo
09.28.13 - The Hague, Netherlands - Today’s Art Festival
10.01.13 - Glasgow, UK - Centre for Contemporary Arts
10.03.13 - London, UK - Islington Assembly Hall
10.04.13 - Berlin, Germany - Berghain
10.05.13 - Kortijk, Belgium - De Kreun
11.16.13 - Minneapolis, MN - Walker Art Center
11.23.13 - East Sussex, UK - ATP @ Pontins Holiday Centre
11.25.13 - Helsinki, Finland - Korjaamo
11.28.13 - Utrecht, Netherlands - Le Guess Who?

• Oneohtrix Point Never:
• Warp: