♫♪  AL-90 - Watersport567

I collect apophatic prayers such as those that extinguish the speaker in their speaking, so that the loss of self that is spoken, the self that is lost in speaking its loss, becomes the only longed-for answer in an impossible gesture to an impossible prayer.

For instance, Psalm 22: My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Or, Simone Weil’s method of purification: to pray to God, not only in secret as far as men are concerned, but with the thought that God does not exist.

Or, of course, in Hildegard von Bingen’s secret language: Great father, we are in great need! Now then we beseech, we beseech you by your Word, through which you created us full of the things we lack.

Also in my collection are a few poems by Rilke, George Herbert’s love, letters never sent, dried lavender from a secret garden, a shard of glass, and a little vial of mist from a morning that will never return.

When words such as why is it Your will that I must say You are, when I myself no longer find You are spoken with as much grace as the demand never to let falter the candle’s flame or the tear adorning the face of someone asleep, dreaming of love, the distance between longing and longed-for collapses with the haze of a blurring touch.

You? Can that be you? …and here of all places?

Listen to the latest lo-fi fog of AL-90’s holy, sacrificial house below.

Chocolate Grinder

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we’ll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.

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