You WOKE UP IN LA, huh C DOG? Well, that’s better than waking up on a frigid concrete floor in a jail cell with seven other people surrounding you. It’s better to wake up in L.A. than to irregularly recall the night before as someone taps you on the shoulder and points to the tray of slop next to you. It’s better than dryly swallowing the mucus lodged in your throat, as an indifferent guard cuffs your wrists so tightly that they bruise and bleed. It’s better than the rank smell of the clothes you were given filling your nose, and it’s better than being glared at by everyone around you, including the employees. It’s definitely better than having to sit on a hard, plastic chair as you waste endless amounts of time staring at walls, waiting to see a judge, who, eventually, doesn’t even look you in the eyes and talks so fast and uses so many unfamiliar terms that you don’t know if your assigned court date is in a month, a week, or in the next 10 minutes.

It’s better to wake up in L.A. than to sit in between two dope fiends sharing their junkie pasts, each beginning to feel and show the effects of withdrawal. It’s better than listening to the one on your right scarf down not only his food, but yours’ and another guy’s, too, all while he gabs about needing a hit and how bad he’s going to feel pretty soon. It’s also better than listening to him ramble on about how he’s facing four nickels (that’s 20 years to us layman) for forgery, violating his sex-offender registration, and domestic abuse, each of which he soundly describes as “some fucking bullshit” because, well, it’s bullshit when you’re caught acting like a piece of shit, right?

Waking up in L.A. is better than listening to the evil fuck in the corner, who stole your blanket and has done nothing but say he loves to screw people over, how it brings him pleasure and how the world is “rotten” and that he likes it that way, tell the “youngblood” that his four nickels will run concurrently, so really it’ll only be five years, but he’ll probably only serve three of those years, if that.

Waking up in L.A .is better than finding out that the fiend to your left, who casually says he’s been shooting up multiple time a day for the past two years, has been all over the local news, even though he doesn’t follow the local news. It’s better than finding out that he’s facing upwards of 40 years on attempted murder charges and possession of a stolen firearm, whose bail is set at $220,000, which just means a surety bond of somewhere between 20 to 40 grand. Easy enough.

It’s better to wake up in L.A. than to lay next to the toilet where an alcoholic drifter called you brother and asked you to politely scoot aside so he could take a violent shit. It’s better than listening to him talk, after his violent shit, about how bad he needs a beer and how he has no one to call to bail him out, so he’ll be locked up for the next 30 days and will have to “fucking detox.”

It’s better to listen to C DOG’s stellar beat tape I WOKE UP IN LA than to wake up in jail, is all I’m saying.

• DOG: https://soundcloud.com/seedog666
• EL SERENO RECORDS: https://elserenorecords.bandcamp.com

Chocolate Grinder

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we’ll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.

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