King Tears Mortuary

Oh, boy. My pal Marshall is awesome. This is a fellah that I’ve gotten to know throughout the years and has always seemed to stick around. We transferred from one college to the same other college having only known each other through a mutual acquaintance. Lived merely 30 minutes from me when I moved to a different part of Ohio. Got me into Tiny Mix Tapes around 2007. Spent plenty of summers together. Is way into GBV. Worked with me for a couple years and became: A CO-WORKER *dread*. He moved to Australia for a minute or two and now lives in the city, just about (again) 30 minutes away from me, or a midnight train away. Last time we hung was two weeks ago and we played some video game and got drunk. Time before I left 285 Kent to have beers within in some corner of the city. Next time I see him it BETTER be before we go to Acid Mother’s Temple.

Anyhow, the fellah put me onto this hear King Tears Mortuary from Australia. And what’s fun is, well — long story short — we did the whole Pocahaunted VS. Best Coast shit when the singles started to hit (pre-Crazy For You), and hangin’ always sounded like grungy recordings of the simplest licks, so “Apollo” fits right in. I’m glad he found this comfort in Australia while we were apart *makes spoons* because I kinda kept shooting for new-new-new (SEE: Choco Mix 102 later today), but he kept it AND keeps it REAL. None of this OPN, Laurel Halo, patten, vapor-nami buuuuulll shit. Give my pal a few High Lifes, a pie from Cassano’s, grippin’ some Mike Sell’s, and start spinning King Tears Mortuary’s “Apollo” 7-inch on Vacant Valley (pre-order): the man is in heaven. Beyond, maybe if you got a stack of #VERYRARE GBV 12-inches too. Scope the tune below and hang out with us sometime!

PS: Marshall’s sister and brother-in-law own a dog that looks strikingly similar to this post’s picture.

• King Tears Mortuary:
• Vacant Valley:

Chocolate Grinder

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we’ll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.

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