♫♪  Soulja Boy - “The King”

Ok, ok, ok: I know what you’re thinking, “Did this girl zcamp seriously just post a Soulja Boy mixtape? [Editor’s Note: …having written a ska post the day before??]”

You bet your butt I did. And here’s why:

  • When you’re rolling around town buying holiday gifts for your family, you need to have appropriate tuneage. Obviously, seasonal songs are out, because there’s only so many times you can hear “Christmas Shoes” before driving into a brick wall out of misery. Why not celebrate December’s capitalist circlejerk by bumping “New Porsche?” Hell, Soulja even incorporates the sounds the Porsche makes into the beat. He’s a witty one.
  • Rappers like Chief Keef and Lil B (#praisebasedgod) have proven time and time again that rapping with the beat and spitting intelligent lyrics are unnecessary for creating an enjoyable hip-hop experience. Need I remind you that it was SOULJA that established these paradigms in the first place? Need a refresher? Give “Yahhh!” another listen. With this in mind, tracks that may seem “bad” — like “From My Hood” and “Guwop” (sic) — are suddenly endowed with a newfound genius. Kendrick isn’t the end all, be all, people.
  • There’s a joint on here called “Bank of America,” and it bangs so hard it may very well start a new movement of rap songs devoted to the institutions of the one-percenters. Fingers crossed that A$AP Rocky comes through with “Wells Fargo” soon.
  • You read it here first: “Tattoos on My Body” is going to be a sleeper hit. All those people who dared write Soulja off will be kicking themselves when that hiccupy beat blares from the speakers of every college party and sports bar across the nation.
  • Souja Boy’s “Beverly Hills” is vastly superior to the Weezer song of the same name. Don’t even try and debate it.

You think I’m being sarcastic? Ok, think that then. While you smirk, I’ll be doing doughnuts in the Prius to “Gettin to Da Doe.”

• Souja Boy: https://twitter.com/souljaboy

Chocolate Grinder

CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we’ll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.

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