2007: The Rubinoos - Everything You Wanted To Know About The Rubinoos

How convenient that this fabulously packaged three-disc Rubinoos retrospective was released just two months prior to a highly publicized plagiarism suit filed by them against shrill, incompetent teeny-bopper songwriter, alcoholic, and known terrorist conspirator Avril Lavigne, in perfect time for a little undue press.

Did shameful Canadian hack Lavigne, with malice of forethought or pure ignorance, ripoff “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” by these late-'70s power-pop pioneering Berkeley boys for her equally vapid “Girlfriend” anthem? Yes, she did. She is a pop swill merchant, derivative to her soulless core, as is the nature of pop. Did the Californian candy suckin’ Rubinoos ripoff the Ramones track of the same name for the extremely minor late-'70s hit they are now suing Avril for ripping off? Probably. It’s pop we’re talking about here. Almost everything is blatantly ripped off from something else, and it’s always the same tap-dancing Botox wankers whoring it to us like greasy, handsy uncles after their third shot of JD. You know you want it. Don’t tell your mother.

Proof, it did not take a mental giant to pen “Gorilla,” with its fabulous closing line “If you want, you can learn how to swing/ I’m heavy into the jungle thing/ Give the love of a gorilla” and bestiality references throughout. You can be sure even less brain was required for these wimps to cover it. My god. Sure, there are admittedly some decent licks here and there and some credibility to be found in their brief collaboration with Todd Rundgren and their award-not-winning theme to Revenge Of The Nerds, but this bubblegum is just too sweet overall to be any good for you. The Cars own these guys every step of the way. Juicy Fruit > Hubba Bubba.

However, since much of this 63-song retrospective has been essentially out of print for years (I wonder why) and the third disc contains a previously unreleased 1978 concert at the Hammersmith Odeon, it’s not hard to get caught up in the sentimentalism of it all, if you’re susceptible to that kind of thing. Plus, unlike Avril, The Rubinoos actually played instruments instead of just air guitaring to a pre-recorded tape. That’s the kind of radical thinking that allowed them to open for Elvis Costello on an Armed Forces tour. That’s gotta count for something, right? Well, maybe not, but at least they have a legitimate shot at destroying Lavigne’s career with the lawsuit, and that’s more than any critic can ask for. Here’s wishing Avril all the best in repeating the success of The Rubinoos. May they be equally remembered in 20 years.

DeLorean

There’s a lot of good music out there, and it’s not all being released this year. With DeLorean, we aim to rediscover overlooked artists and genres, to listen to music historically and contextually, to underscore the fluidity of music. While we will cover reissues here, our focus will be on music that’s not being pushed by a PR firm.

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