Fun Lovin’ Criminals Welcome to Poppy’s

[Sanctuary; 2003]

Styles: flunk, shit-hop, dunce music
Others: Dee-Lite, Geggy Tah

Oh boy and Christing hell, what have we here? All Music will feed some shit about "this is the sound of cigarettes being lit," suggesting the laidback hipsterism attributed to artists like Cypress Hill. Remember the one-hit wonder of "Scooby-Snacks" a few years back? Well if you liked that song, you'll find absolutely nothing here to delight in. Since failing in the U.S. market, the duo have managed to find a place on U.K. charts and dance floors. Take note when I exclaim from the rooftops: you can fucking have them! This is the most generic sounding, derivative, self-important, lyrically banal nonsense I've come across on an established label since I've started reviewing. My editor's a dick for sending me this, but he's more than made up for it with other, more worthy releases.

Yeah, you heard me. I said "worthy." If Fun Lovin' Criminals are going to sing these songs as though they are the end-all and be-all of party/chill out music, then I'm the meta-critic insofar as this review is concerned. These learned ears are disgraced with this stale, gleaming drivel so much so that I could easily give up the review and take the disc straight to the used bin. And it's not just because these guys are so uncool that they make Bonnie Raitt seem hip. The major problem here is the lack of the ambition to do anything new. FLC seem content to just laze back in played-out modern FM radio staple sounds. We just surviving in the current market, yo. Yeah well, I'm tired of that excuse. I know we can't all be Nirvana, but it's better to fall on your face chasing the muse than to fade into obscurity joining the non-threatening pop rock parade.

But this isn't even a factor when it comes to Welcome To Poppy's. These cheese-heads have got absolutely nothing going for them. They're only relevant in some Euro-Pop vacuum that still thinks Ace of Base is relevant. This is deluded cookie-cutter, sesame-streetwise tripe posing as gritty dancefloor saviors. Unless you think that Kid Rock is authentic musicianship incarnate, stay the fuck away from this one. Like I need to tell you.

1. Too Hot
2. Stray Bullet
3. Living on the Streets
4. Lost It All
5. Friday Night
6. You Got a Problem
7. Running For Cover
8. Take Me Back
9. What Had Happened?
10. Got Our Love
11. This Sick World
12. Steak Knife
13. Beautiful
14. Baby
15. You Just Can't Have It All

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