Octopus Project Hello, Avalanche

[Peek-A-Boo; 2007]

Styles: instrumental rock… yeah, that’s all I got
Others: Black Moth Super Rainbow, Tristeza, Turzi, Trans Am, Lymbic System, Neu! (but busy as hell)

Grant’s Incredible List of Incredibly Predictable Things, Happenings and, you know, Stuff:

  • When porn actors grunt and say in a foreign-y voice, “That is booty-ful”

  • 99% of movies

  • Instrumental music

  • Each and every conversation I’ve ever had with my wife

  • The look on a stranger’s face when I ask if I can have their cheesepaper

  • The inability of many copy editors to worry about anything save headlines and photo placement

  • The way most instrumental bands build and recede over and over

  • The amateur flow of articles that are supposed to be fresh and creative but end up being impossible to follow and just plain stupid

  • Pressing the button on a drinking fountain and stooping down so the tiny pin-prick trickle at least touches my lips

  • Listening to a Patton Oswalt comedy routine and soiling myself

  • The way many instrumental bands abuse keyboards/synths

  • The way the hot water in my faucet goes from ICE-COLD to SINGEING-HOT in .0000000000000001 seconds

  • The way columnists always use one-sentence paragraphs

  • The way The Octopus Project’s past albums have aroused but not ‘wow’ed me

  • The way my friends always get dumped when their girlfriends get back from their ‘soul-searching trip to Europe’

  • Finding a pinch of lint at the top of my buttcrack

Grant’s Incredible List of Incredibly Unpredictable Things, Happenings, and, you know, Stuff:

  • The fluctuation of my weight, from flabby to less flabby then back to flabby again

  • How much I love East Coast pizza (which may or may not affect the preceding entry)

  • How much I love East Coast donuts (ditto)

  • The fact that, with strident new albums from The Octopus Project and Black Moth Super Rainbow (not to mention the so-so album these bands made together this year), instrumental rock is back with bigger abs and a tighter ass

  • The intensity of my Christmas-light-hanging addiction from year to year

  • The next money-making scheme my buddy Isaac will pitch to me

  • Listening to Hello, Avalanche over and over and still failing to remember anything about it, then listening again as though it were a fresh experience

  • The number of bill collectors I’m going to have to stiff each month

  • The amount of regret I feel for bringing a child into such an F-ed up world

  • The degree to which I bounce back from feelings of regret when my little baby girl smiles up at me when she hears me play certain guitar chords

  • The way the synths of Hello, Avalanche weave in and out of each other like fighter pilots at an air show

  • The number of readers that will write in complaining that I didn’t really talk about music much in this review

  • The way this review ends without warning

1. Snow Tip Cap Mountain
2. Truck
3. Bees Bein' Strugglin'
4. An Evening With Rthrtha
5. Black Blizzard/Red Umbrella
6. Upmann
7. Mmaj
8. I Saw the Bright Shinies
9. Ghost Moves
10. Vanishing Lessons
11. Exploding Snowhorse
12. Loud Murmuring
13. Queen

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