Razor Crusade Infinite Water

[Deathwish; 2005]

Styles: communicating emotions through SCREAMING over loud guitars.
Others: Staind, The Ataris

"This is not you, Holland" is a fantastic title for a rock song. (Notice the use of titling techniques reminiscent of dada artists such as Marcel Duchamp. Impressive eh?) The use of words in the lyrics however, do not live up to even this amount of hype -- "This song is written with a rope around my neck and a dagger in my heart and arrows in my back and etc etc etc." Not really folks; I'm reliably informed that this is simply a METAPHOR. For what? Someone feeling mildly depressed during adolescence. (And we can all relate to THAT, so forget Rrose Selavy and all his/her metaphors for examining the ways in which we construct value in human reality, because this is about girls.)

I remember when I used to write songs with lyrics like "Cut me open with your poison coated smile/ Bury me up to my neck in love" (That one's Ivo Jansens by the way, it's from "Sinking with Venice." Wouldn't want to be accused of plagiarizing that soon-to-be classic). Unfortunately for me, I never actually liked metal/girls/petty-idiotic-internalized-psychodramas enough to be in a band where you could get away with that sort of thing. Razor Crusade is DEFINITELY a band where you can get away with poetry of that caliber. You might be tempted to say that it's encouraged even.

Technically competent (which is intended as an insult) hard rock with no substance, little individuality, and seemingly nothing at all for them to be so irritated about. Better when their songs are about their feelings than when they embarrass themselves by trying to write about real things, but only for the kitsch value of a band that sounds at times remarkably like heart-on-my-sleeve pop-punks The Ataris, yet maintain their LOUDLY PISSED OFF AT NOTHING IN PARTICULAR credentials.

Avoid unless you are a delusional fifteen year-old living in the suburbs or think that Staind are incredibly poignant and understand exactly how you feel. In which case you deserve this sort of rubbish.

1. This Song Is For Alex
2. Our Planet Is Intimate
3. Low Spark, The
4. Mark You're A Hole
5. Europeanly Adorable
6. I Wish You Were Me
7. You Should Be Lucky
8. Osaka Android
9. Sinking With Venice
10. Put On Your Best Suit
11. Infinite Water
12. This Is Not You, Holland