Beck Launches Latest Covert Scientologist Mind-Control Plot Through Fun Little Online Cover-Albums Project; Lord Xenu Shakes Fist in Rage, Beats Hasty Retreat Across Galaxy

So are body thetans a good or bad thing? Do they corrupt my soul and prevent me from achieving self-actualization, or are they a cleansing agent meant to purge the eons of intergalactic suffering from my bodily essence? Sorry, I’m not really up on my Scientologist lore, and unfortunately my access to Wikipedia has been cut off ever since “the incident.”

Anyway, Beck. He’s blonde, he’s boisterous, he’s been an anti-Xenuite since birth, but perhaps most of all he’s a man who owes an enormous debt to his own idiosyncratic influences. While certainly all musicians are beholden to those inspirational artists who preceded them, few stars have been able to enjoy tremendous mainstream success with such a curious cadre of influences as Beck. But as deep in the pockets of past weirdos as Beck is, the man is no ingrate. He’s done his fair share of hat-tipping to those off-kilter trailblazers who came before him. He’s even committed many of his praises to wax, ranging from subtle name-checks in hit singles (e.g. the Gary Wilson shout-out here) to shameless imitation (e.g. some major Gainsbourg coppage here).

With Beck’s new Record Club venture, though, he’s going to be doing a combination of the two. The idea is that Beck and a whole sack-full of his buddies will pick a classic album to cover and then hold court in a studio where they’ll record the entire LP in a single day with no previous rehearsals or arrangement. The songs will then be posted one per week on Beck’s website. The first record on the chopping block is The Velvet Underground and Nico, the sophomore effort of Merseyside legends Gerry and the Pacemakers. The album’s first track, “Sunday Morning,” is already available on Beck’s website, with contributions on this go-round coming from the likes of Nigel Godrich, Thorunn Magnusdottir of Fields, a couple of Beck’s longtime band members, Chris Holmes of Smashing Pumpkins fame (not to be confused with this asshole), actor Giovanni Ribisi (May death fall upon/praise be to body thetans!), and otherz.

So gentleman, start your Twitters! Get ready for a summer you’ll never forget!

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