Mail-order “record club” of yesteryear Columbia House files for bankruptcy, with the entire U.S. Postal Service itself presumably to follow

Mail-order "record club" of yesteryear Columbia House files for bankruptcy, with the entire U.S. Postal Service itself presumably to follow

Oh, nooooo! Readers!! SHIT!!!

Looks like we’ve missed our last chance to get 8 CDs in shiny, shrinkwrapped jewel cases delivered to our door for the low, low price of just one penny! According to The Los Angeles Times (which I swear I totally read on physical paper every single morning by candlelight when I’m eating my Cream of Wheat, prune juice, and Zwieback for breakfast), Filmed Entertainment Inc. — the parent company of Columbia House — has officially “filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection after 20 years of declining sales.” Frowny face!

Founded way back in the George McFly year of 1955, the company was apparently doing an incredible $1.4 billion in sales when it hit its peak in 1996. That’s a LOT of copies of The Offspring’s Smash!!!

But then, by 2014-ish… well, ya know… um, revenue kinda… dropped off some? And in the most PROFOUNDLY AMAZING statement anyone’s ever made ever, Filmed Entertainment attributed the decline to “the advent of digital media, which drove declines in physical DVD sales and the recorded music business.”

RIP: Meatloaf’s Bat of out Hell. No one will ever buy you out of the back of a Parade again. So sad.

• Columbia House: http://www.columbiahouse.com

Most Read