SoundCloud lays off 40% of its workforce and closes two offices in push for “profitability”

SoundCloud lays off 40% of its workforce and closes two offices in push for "profitability"

An analogous situation might involve an orphan constantly being pushed to the end of his or her emotional rope by potential foster parents who ultimately decide not to adopt the suspiciously hip youngster: eventually, the kid conjures the wherewithal to essentially say “fuck it” to all of the wide-eyed adults seemingly window-shopping for slightly-used humans, and he or she embraces a mindset of doing whatever it takes to survive independently.

In “online audio distribution platform” SoundCloud’s case, that mindset necessitates making some crazy and occasionally harsh business decisions, and is thus apparently supposed to explain the latest effort of the Berlin-based streaming service to avoid scrounging for dumpster spaghetti: it’s just laid off 40% of it’s workforce. That’s 173 out of its previously 420 employees. And on top that that, the SoundCloud offices in London and San Francisco will both be shuttered. Whatever it takes!

CEO Alex Ljung said in response to the move, “we need to ensure our path to long-term, independent success,” which is an interesting statement given the handful of potential suitors rumored to have an interest in the company over the past few years. Obviously, not one of those suitors has put ink to paper, so a lonely little SoundCloud’s just gotta do what a lonely little SoundCloud’s gotta do in order to (independently) reach profitable, cool-dude status. (Whatever it takes!)

Can’t really say I’ve ever heard of MASS LAYOFFS being a good sign for a company (unless it’s some sort of company specializing in “Mass Layoffs,” I guess)…but, you know…we’ll…see?

WHATEVER IT TAKES!

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