Warner Embraces DRM, Bush Cool With Abortion, NHL Approves Knife Fights

One of these things doesn't belong/neeeener neener neen, or so goes the opening line to 2008. It happened, folks -- it's real, and it's here. DRM is toast. It's on the way out the door, and you (the consumer) is at least partially responsible. Did you know that? That you're responsible for something? You twenty-something shiftless layabout slurping Ramen noodles through your scraggly beard, getting salty broth all over your ironically hilarious clothing? Your refusal to support the economy has done some good for once -- getting Warner to drop DRM, instead of hindering my daily trek down to the local mom & pop brothel. The big box wank establishments just don't get the job done properly. I mean, where else do you get specially contoured dinky wipes for the extra bit of sauce that the BBW's roll missed?

Granted, these DRM-free major label goodies are only available through Amazon, an obscure online retail establishment, but it's still a step in the right direction for freedom-loving "liberals." Warner Music Group was the second-to-last last holdout of the four major music companies to offer music from their catalog without draconian restrictions that bind consumers into ridiculous contracts only understandable by a team of highly paid attorneys. Amazon has clearly signed a deal with WMG similar to the ones it signed with the other labels, because the DRM-free music is only available in the U.S. Assumptions could be made here that Amazon is working on deals with the international branches of the RIAA to allow the sales of DRM-free music to other countries, but there's nothing concrete available to the public. So, we'll have to play with a few instances of ‘probably’ here, disguised as the playful circumflex, to gauge what made this possible.

Amazon forked over some change to EMI and Universal earlier in 2007 to allow the sale of unrestricted music in its store, in hopes of carving out a spot in what is clearly Apple's marketplace. This upfront payment came with a promise of a steady return from music sales, and free vouchers to the local brothel. Warner, sorely lacking in the boner department, was worried about getting teased and decided to see if there was any snickering behind closed doors concerning catalog size. Fears were allayed by the retailer; there would be no teasing, but Warner still waited until it became fashionably uncool to be associated with the old way of getting it done. So really, Warner is the dude you know that's concerned about what other the other kids think, which is lame. Like, totally lame.

So, it's all well and good that Warner is finally on the bandwagon, but I want to point out that their jump was one of hesitance.

In other news, WMG's stock dropped to its lowest point at $5.81 on Wednesday.


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