Warner Music Group and YouTube Meet in a L.A. Restroom, Accidentally Urinate Side-By-Side, YouTube Slips and Pisses on Warner’s Tight Jeans, Entices a No-Holds-Barred Game of Swords, Warner Wins with a Move It Learned from R. Kelly, The Two Shake Hands, and a Licensing Deal is Made

If you are anything like me, you like giving away as much of your money as you can. Warner Bros. wants to make my dreams, as well as everyone else's, come true by making sure they cash-in on the cash cow that is YouTube. In this instance, YouTube is more like a big hunk of cheese and Warner Music a giant flesh-eating rat. That wasn't really meant to be metaphorical. I'm just playing a game of Mouse Trap with my Algerian friends, and it's hard to keep my mind in one place.

The news does concern me greatly, though, which I will get to in a minute. In case you didn't hear, last Monday WMG made an agreement with YouTube to distribute any artist-related material. Under this "sweet-ass deal," Warner and YouTube will share revenue from all of the goofy advertising. Yes, it's like consensual sex. The only one that gets violated in this story is the avid YouTuber.

This isn't just a pat on the ass for YouTube, but also good news for WMG. Since WMG is the first to take part in the user-generated content of YouTube, there will most likely be more commercial distribution from other companies. Recently, entertainment moguls all over have been biting their nails over the large amount of copyrighted material that appears on websites like YouTube without permission or authorization.

By the end of the year, YouTube plans to use an advanced content identification and a royalty reporting system. This will help to identify the videos and help manage payments to the record labels. Yes, you heard that right. It's time to pay up! You were going to spend your $175 paycheck from McDonald's on a new cock ring, but now some of that cash is going to help support our poor and dying entertainers.

As I said before, this news does concern me somewhat, due to the fact that for a year-and-a-half now my dad and I have been making our own personal YouTube videos. Every Saturday evening, I usually drive up to see my dad. When I walk inside his trailer, he usually has the lighting set just right, and the camera is always ready to go. After a few shots and a couple of games of ultimate arm wrestling, we usually take our clothes off. We just stay in our boxers, of course! Don't get the wrong idea, you pervs!

So my dad and I are practically butt naked. I slip in my latest Enya mix, and we just let it go. Sometimes it turns into 10 minutes of interpretive dance during "Storms in Africa," and sometimes it becomes a motherfuckin' crump party! The trouble is that with this milestone agreement between douches one and two, my dad and I can no longer make our videos unless Enya gets her royalties. We don't have the money for this hoo-ha since we are both saving up for the "surgery." Thanks a lot guys!

Well, I suppose on the bright side I will now get more of Buckethead, Phil Collins, Lupe Fiasco, and Phillip Glass all together at once. Plus I am starting to get bored with all the lonelygirl15 drama. Would it really hurt to use a little Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch?

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