HKE OMNIA

[Olde English Spelling Bee; 2016]

Rating: 3/5

Styles: security cameras, country club, eternity with Codsworth
Others: Animatrix, b-movie maniac, Point Break (2016)

After acquiring a large scorpion spinal tattoo, David realizes his numbness to the world has grown intangibly tenfold because of his deep intrigue for observational curiosity. Heading home in the murk of rain that darkens the London streets and closed bodegas, David sees a neon sign advertising remote Ukraine locale travel in order to boost economic growth within the Eastern Euro’s crumbling regions. Having never contacted this travel agency, David receives an Inbox (1) at work the next morning from his boss’s e-mail address telling him to meet in the lobby, but the signature is labeled: VLAD (not his boss’s name).

David is not necessarily partial to his boss’s company (VLAD or not). He stops by security to check the lobby camera out of curiosity and to show his guard-friend Pat the tattoo from last night. Pat gives David the phone number of his friend Todd, who has a similar tattoo and potentially “a way out.” David’s boss isn’t in the lobby. There’s nobody in the lobby. Pat advises David not to leave, as the security office door closes shut.

Walking out onto the second floor, David had already thought he passed the mezzanine door, but still takes the exit, and out from the elevator ding emerges a man. And a mist. A blink. So when David opens his eyes, there’s only a stark, halogen light illuminating the green flakes of paint, shadowing slivers of the wall behind it. A silhouette stands before David’s blurred vision. Nothing is keeping him imprisoned. “Man Bites Dog” is written everywhere with a lack of intent. David is shown a video.

Someone is doing construction in the room next to where David is waking up. The silhouette introduces itself as VLAD and provides telephone-communication rate for David on the table next to a chemical laboratory bubbling vapor through the vent into another room. “This isn’t a basement. Or London. Have you seen The Matrix?” David asks in slurs and shrugs because choke point is exactly what they want. It’s not official. The rave in the other room is chipping away the paint. So David makes the call.

Todd, this is David. I need an exit as quick as possible. Pat has all the footage. It’s in the details. Maybe get the DVD? This must be a factory. There is a man here. He is telling me OMNIA is the key. You don’t know me. But maybe one day. Please believe in what I’m telling you. I hope the microphone on this telephone receiver is picking up my voice clearly. Repeating this message is the only thing that will save us all. Yet, we’re fucked. I don’t understand myself. Tah!

VLAD

ENTER A GUST OF MATTER THAT’S NOT PARTICLES BUT PURELY COOKED-DOWN ACETONER MELTING CANDYLAND BRAINS TRADING FLESH LIKE GIGS OF DATA THAT CYBORGS ONLY BATHE IN FUTURE ANTI-FUCKING SO BIOTECH WI-FIS A RATE OF INFINITE PURITY WITHIN EVOLUTION TO BECKON AN OUROBOROS WHERE JEST CAN QUANTIFY STATUS [COUGH] TRACK RECORD IN THIRD-WORLD RIGHTS THAT HUMANITY CAN’T DOMINATE BECAUSE SKIN EXISTS AS FERTILITY.

David is then injected with a needle of wi-fi. It’s the physical of digital. And rave on. But he becomes the Adam of Earth’s next dominate species as cyborg. All cells begin to mutate. Pat shows Todd a video years later and nothing was there: conclusion. David reads this review of HKE’s OMNIA DVD and CD on OESB thousands of years into the future, while cells continue to reproduce within him. Like little pings that surge an algorithmic function for every (human) LinkedIn profile to create a job for another cell that evolves within seconds, micromanaging thousands of new cells forming at a rate of rabbit production. CUT TO — the terrified man jerking off in his office using blocked internet and draining nuts and data because Verizon. Trust no one.

The only eye-opener is left caressing David’s visage. This is a new job with a status quo. Curry like the smell of tequila. A venom won in right of savage. Only chimes can bread the whip, but maybe there’s a solo catch-all. Trust is a weird game to play. But truth is also something worth the investment. The boii is astray. Yarn a way home for the lost. Mystery is only in the Myst. Nobody know why they on that island. David stuck within. What did Chapo say to the Keymaker?

Links: HKE - Olde English Spelling Bee

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