Yoko Ono Take Me to the Land of Hell

[Chimera; 2013]

Styles: someone fiddling with the radio while you’re trying to drive and they keep skipping past the good stuff
Others: Yoko Ono


“Moonbeams Piece”
On a day that there is a rainbow, travel towards it. Using a jar, collect the rainbow. Do this until the rainbow is gone.

“Cheshire Cat Piece”
A cat is suspended in a harness above a record player, at a level that allows the cat to barely maintain a sense of balance on a rotating, playing record. The record being played is the 7-inch single “Give Peace a Chance”/”Remember Love” by the Plastic Ono Band. Try and feed the cat.

“Tabetai Piece”
Invite friends over for a meal in a week’s time. Ask them what their favorite foods are and if they have any allergies. Do not eat during the period of time leading up to the meal. Prepare a simple, elegant spread of food. Insist that people start eating. As they begin, snatch the food from their plates and savagely retaliate should they take issue with your actions. Force them all out of the house.

“Bad Dancer”
Cross your legs. Keep them crossed and stand up. Now raise your arms and step on them at the same time.

“Little Boy Blue Piece”
Stare at a child and whisper the lyrics to “What a Bastard the World Is.”

“There’s No Goodbye Piece”
The audience is facing a dimly-lit stage. A man and a woman are glued together using a powerful adhesive. They struggle violently until they become unjoined. They then diverge as slowly as possible towards a pair of separate stage doors at the rear left and rear right of the room. The audience is permitted to leave and come back to check on their progress.

” 7th Floor Piece”
Wrap a scarf very tightly around your neck, and then bob your head until it comes off. (The head, not the scarf). Then step on it. While you are performing these steps, describe everything you saw from the last dream you had.

“NY Noodle Town Piece”
Order the lo mein. Chew it 40,000 times or achieve transcendence (whichever comes first).

“Take Me To The Land of Hell Piece”
Find a sharp object and find a way to balance your body horizontally upon it so a pointed end is digging into your flesh. Go to sleep.

“Watching the Dawn Piece”
Take the sunrise. Shake it.

“Leaving Tim Piece”
The performer adjusts their hat on a jaunty angle and follows a weeping man around, berating him. One half of the audience have under their seats printed lists of insults and particularly painful truths/recollections that they are encouraged to direct toward the man. The other half have party whistles and hats stowed beneath their chairs, which they alike are encouraged to use. The performance ends when confetti falls from the roof, at a point in proceedings to be determined prior by the organizers.

“Shine, Shine”
All of the above at once.

Links: Chimera

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