Viacom Gets to See What You’ve Watched on YouTube… Yes, Even the Gorilla Tutu Porn (Especially the

In another wonderful invasion of American privacy, YouTube has recently been ordered to hand over all of its viewer data to Viacom. “Why,” you ask, “why does this cute and cuddly conglomerate have to know that I just really like watching playthroughs of old Zelda games for NES? Is that really necessary?” Viacom thinks so, because it's suing YouTube for copyright infringement to the tune of $1 billion, and a judge ruled that granting them the right to snoop will help their cause. What a philanthropist.

The good news is that Viacom will only be given your IP address, which means that if IP address. 47.32.97.08 watches a lot of naked BMX bike racing, they will only be known by that number. HOWEVER, if 47.32.97.08 also happens to be the star of a YouTube show in which they dance in a fairy costume against a backdrop of Full House clips, Viacom will take the time to track that sucker down and initiate legal action. I mean, I’m fucked, personally. I switch it up a little and wear hospital scrubs instead, but the sentiment is there. Remember how the RIAA started arresting college students and mothers of two? It’s kinda like that. Those were the days...

YouTube’s parent company Google has attempted to warn its users by linking to its privacy policy at the bottom of the site, but some dude’s still totally going to get busted for his fan montage of Angela from Who’s the Boss? He only wanted to see her answering the door in a bathrobe 50 times in a row. What’s so weird about that?

Viacom Gets to See What You’ve Watched on YouTube… Yes, Even the Gorilla Tutu Porn (Especially the

In another wonderful invasion of American privacy, YouTube has recently been ordered to hand over all of its viewer data to Viacom. “Why,” you ask, “why does this cute and cuddly conglomerate have to know that I just really like watching playthroughs of old Zelda games for NES? Is that really necessary?” Viacom thinks so, because it's suing YouTube for copyright infringement to the tune of $1 billion, and a judge ruled that granting them the right to snoop will help their cause. What a philanthropist.

The good news is that Viacom will only be given your IP address, which means that if IP address. 47.32.97.08 watches a lot of naked BMX bike racing, they will only be known by that number. HOWEVER, if 47.32.97.08 also happens to be the star of a YouTube show in which they dance in a fairy costume against a backdrop of Full House clips, Viacom will take the time to track that sucker down and initiate legal action. I mean, I’m fucked, personally. I switch it up a little and wear hospital scrubs instead, but the sentiment is there. Remember how the RIAA started arresting college students and mothers of two? It’s kinda like that. Those were the days...

YouTube’s parent company Google has attempted to warn its users by linking to its privacy policy at the bottom of the site, but some dude’s still totally going to get busted for his fan montage of Angela from Who’s the Boss? He only wanted to see her answering the door in a bathrobe 50 times in a row. What’s so weird about that?

Brightblack Morning Light Head Out On Tour, Set to Release New LP, Motion To Rejoin

So, I've spent hours upon hours in contemplation, and I've come to one clear, precise conclusion: indie-psychedelic group Brightblack Morning Light sound like Zero 7 combined with Bright Eyes, but produced by Frank Zappa. If you check out some of their MySpace tunes, you’ll realize what I’m talking about.

If that description moves you like it moves me, then you’re in luck: Brightblack Morning Light are getting ready to release on September 23 their second full-length LP, Motion To Rejoin, the follow-up to their 2006 self-titled album, on Matador Records! And even better yet, the New Mexico-based band is going to be heading out on tour soon to promote the album. Life is really coming together.

Brightblack Morning Light tourdates:

* William Fowler Collins

Hair Police To Tour, Release New Album, Arrest The Balding

Awesomely noisy Lexington, KY rockers Hair Police are planning a North American tour as well as a new album release on the heels of a short hiatus, according to their official website. The group, whose roughly five-releases-per-year agenda (including LPs, singles, splits, CD-Rs, and more) slowed in the last 18 months, is bouncing back from this relative hiatus with a new LP entitled Certainty of Swarms on No Fun Productions. Out August 11, the new LP features what the band calls "a heterogeneous concoction that is carefully matured" as well as "a blistering onslaught of metallic-fused noise-murk." Hmm, sounds kinda like the "deluges of terror tones and an onslaught of untamed musical evil" hailed by the 5-star TMT review of the band's 2005 LP Constantly Terrified.

Leading up to the album release, Hair Police have scheduled dates across North America, starting today at Chicago's Empty Bottle. Their first U.S. outing in years, the two-week jaunt follows a canceled tour earlier this year (TMT News).

Certainty of Swarms tracklist:

* Hive Mind, Oakeater, Bruce Lamont, Bloodyminded

^ Wretched Worst, Wasteland Jazz Unit

% Mike Shiflet, Envenomist, Lambsbread, Vodka Soap

# Aaron Dilloway, Emeralds, Tusco Terror

& Ryan Jewell, Cock Scene Investigator

! Pengo

$ Rise Set Twilight, Century Plants

< Sunburned, Thurson Moore/Kate Village duo, Paul Flaherty/Jeff Hartford Duo

> Carlos Giffoni, Sixes, FFH

Sickness

Heathen Shame (oh c'mon, Hair Police, I am seriously running out of symbols here)

; Disgues, Bottom Feeder, Flatline Construct

| Awkward Squad, Uneven Universe, Regression (Nate Young solo)

Photo: [Bill T Miller]

Ole! Calexico Runs for the Border of Pretty Much Every Western Nation Ever

Yes! This fall Calexico will be embarking on a tour so lengthy, so worldwide that this story practically writes itself! Which is great news to me, because I am pretty sure I am getting carpal tunnel from obsessively applying to jobs on craigslist all day, and also because I had a really bad dream last night about forgetting to clean my house for several months and all the gross things that happened as a result, and now I sort of think I should go home and clean my house before dust zombies actually form and begin terrorizing me and the cat.

But back to the matter at hand. The Spaghetti Western-loving collective is hitting the road in support of their soon-to-be-released full-length, Carried to Dust, due September 9 on Quarterstick Records. And they're wasting no time about it: with a handful of dates as a sexy summer teaser, they'll be jetsetting in earnest the day after the album hits stores. (Take note: this date is also my birthday. September 10. No e-cards, please, unless they are those sassy ones that say stuff like "Congrats on your herpes!" or whatever. Those are funny. But FYI, I do not have herpes, so please don't send me that one.) So why not join me in celebrating another year of Calexico, the band that will do more fun traveling activities in a few months than you or I will ever do in a lifetime!

Johnny Rotten’s Crew Allegedly Injures Members of Foals, Bloc Party, and Kaiser Chiefs

There’s a part of me that sometimes feels bad for Johnny Rotten. I try to assume he must have some kind of mental illness that’s gone undiagnosed for all these years, that one day he’ll be convinced by caring friends and kin to get the help he needs, that he must be some kind of Michael Jackson man-child who has retreated to a shell of blissful oblivion in the mind of an adolescent. Right? No normal human being can consciously be such a living joke.

Then every so often a story like this comes out, which is accentuated by this, and I remember: he’s just a crude asshole.

So what happened? Apparently, during Barcelona’s Summercase Festival this past weekend, Bloc Party singer Kele Okereke tried to talk to Rotten (who still thinks himself relevant to modern music for some reason) about Public Image Ltd. but was instead greeted with racial slurs and a beating from Rotten's associates. Okereke says members of Foals and Kaiser Chiefs came to his aid and were also treated with violence.

Rotten says the account is untrue. According to him, the “trouble” was instigated by Okereke, who needs to “grow up and learn to be a true man.”

However, Foals’ tour manager Nick Jenkin's account seems to give credibility to the original allegations. He claims he saw Okereke getting punched by Rotten’s entourage, as Kaiser Chief’s Ricky Wilson was taunted for trying to help. Foals’ singer Yannis Philippakis was knocked unconscious by security and handcuffed as he tried to intervene, Jenkin said. Meanwhile Walter Gervers, bassist of Foals, was given a black eye and guitarist Jimmy Smith was thrown through a barrier.

Okereke has filed a report with police.

Sex Pistols action figures, hand bags, and air fresheners available now!

Courtney Love Sued by Accounting Firm, Not Yet Sued by Dozens of Others

Just in case you’d forgotten what a joke former first lady of Grunge Courtney Love is, let me just take you through this latest debacle slowly and carefully. Okay?

So, in 2006, after controlling most of the rights to late husband Kurt Cobain and Nirvana’s publishing catalog since Cobain’s death in 1994, the Hole frontwoman up and sold a 25% portion of those rights in 2006, citing (drunkenly?) that she would “take Nirvana to places it’s never been before.” Apparently, Nirvana had never been to a baseball game before, as all of those sweet, subsequent “Breed” cameos in video games and Adult Swim commercials for those video games soon proved. But hey, let’s give her a break. Love probably needed that $19.5 million to support a wide variety of living habits... you know: yoga, organic veggies, and that kinda stuff.

So anyway, time passes, Nirvana fans’ annoyance finally dies down a bit, but then, this past Tuesday, in a suit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, Los Angeles-based business management and accounting firm London & Co. sued Courtney Love for nearly $1 million, claiming that she failed to pay them a share of profits from the sale of Nirvana's publishing catalog. It’s not really like her to space-out like that, you know?

Nevermind (ha!) the fact that these cats didn’t really notice themselves that $975,000 was missing from their books for well over a year, because London & Co. is all business now, alleging that Love broke an oral contract to share 5% of any of her earnings or those from her company, The End of Music. This company, according to the lawsuit, was created to manage Cobain's intellectual property, including his career with Nirvana. London & Co. claims its share from the sale would have been $975,000.

But wait! The slacking doesn’t end with Love and London & Co. Courtney’s attorney (the poor man) has also apparently been in quite the daze lately. When he finally responded, stating only that his client was aware of the allegations, he offered no further comment, saying: “I’m aware there’s an issue between London Co. and Courtney, but I have not seen the lawsuit.” Come on, now, people! Doesn’t anyone do any work out there in L.A.? Oh well, stay tuned folks. At this rate, this should all be ironed out in five more years or so.

Courtney Love tourdates:

...oh, wait...

The Mountain Goats and Kaki King Go on Leisurely Autumnal Jaunt Across Whole Country; Does Anyone Have $5 I Can Borrow to Do Laundry?

Perennial indie rock superhero John Darnielle is taking his Mountain Goats on the road yet again this fall. Tagging along this time is Kaki King, who is very, very good at playing the guitar. You people like guitars, right? Led Zeppelin played guitars. No Age play guitars. Good.

If you ask me, the best part of this tour is going to be spending Halloween at a place called the "Tequila Jungle" in Lubbock, TX (Halloween being the clear winner for second most tequila-conducive holiday after Cinco de Mayo). All Hail West Texas, then, unless the Tequila Jungle is one of those places where it's just a name and not actually a giant concert hall completely full of deadly animals and exotic, beautiful plants with bottles of tequila hidden under them like Easter eggs.

Also, here is an article from a few years ago that features John Darnielle copping to having a crush on Kaki King.

"Dates," indeed:

# John Darnielle solo

Meanwhile, check out Darnielle's 33 1/3 book about Black Sabbath’s Master of Reality (TMT Review).

[Photo: Steven Dewall]

Shellac Do What Most Bands Do: Play Shows on the Way to a Festival. Big Whoop.

Chicago rock dudes Shellac are playing, like, four shows leading up to their appearance at the totally badass All Tomorrow's Parties in New York and then a few more to surround ATP's Release the Bats in October. I can hardly call this a tour.

They’re making their trip to the Catskills worth their time by playing some shows on the way, in Canada, which is way cooler than the United States. (I know. I’ve been there. Montreal? Way cool.) Then in October, they're simply playing some more shows in Ireland and Scotland to make their other ATP event worth the effort. Ho-ly shit. Stop the presses.

..............
Todd Trainer of Shellac. Lock up your daughters.

I’m pretty sure they have no album coming out; Excellent Italian Greyhound (TMT Review) came out last summer. The end.

Tourdates:

[Photo: Luca Soffici]

Cancer Has Been Cured, Atlantis Has Been Discovered, Dr. Dre Announces that Detox Will Come Out This Winter

Pop quiz, hotshot: Two of the news items mentioned in the headline are false -- can you guess which one? I’ll give you a few seconds to deliberate.

.

.

.

Yes, this week, scientists performing deep-sea sonar imaging happened upon a grouping of structures that resemble ancient but intact buildings that seem to date earlier than Classic Greek culture. Although scientists may never know if this is the long fabled Atlantis, it at least stands as some form of ancient human civilization.

BUT WHO CARES! Dr. Dre has stated Detox will finally hit shelves later this year! The long-awaited, much-anticipated album (the follow-up to 1999's Chronic 2001) has been promised and whispered about for many a year now, and though this announcement may prove to be just another disappointment, this West Coast supporter is at least pleased that a quasi date has been set.

“In a perfect world I'm shooting for a November or December release," told Dr. Dre to USA Today. “I'm going to put this record out, promote it, tour and then become a hermit. I'm going to stay in the studio and produce.”

I want Dr. Dre to know, on a personal level, that I am already waiting in front of my local record shop to buy the first copy. Please don’t be bluffing, please.

In related news, the newest and most-anticipated release by Guns N’ Roses Chinese Democracy has also apparently been given a "release date" of sorts. Axl Rose had this to say: “Fuck you, it’s never coming out; it’s too good for everyone. It’s been done for years, but no one in this century could possibly understand its level of genius, except perhaps the genius-level of that one track I gave to the upcoming Rock Band 2.”

  

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