Björk Releases New Avatars, Extends Töur; Smjörið er brætt og hveitið smátt og smátt hrært út í það, þangað til það er gengið upp í smjörið.

Hi ya'll! Björk is extendin' her tour! Yay! Forum avatars for everyone!!!!!!!11

The butter is melted and the flour stirred into it slowly but surely, until it has blended with the butter:

* Big Day Out Festival

$ Sydney Festival

Now is the Winter of Our Discounted Castanets; Raposa To Hit the Road

Having the memory of an elephant can be a truth-telling bitch at times and a godsend at others. There are too many embarrassing nights I wish I could block out of my mind. On the plus side, I can remember everything about my Grade 7 French teacher, Madame (Mme.) Menard. She was a young-ish, beautiful, new teacher who taught for the love of the language and was serious as a heart attack (10 cent line of the day) and hell-bent on turning the class into Francophones by the end of the year. In fact the only cracks in her prim and proper exterior appeared, infrequently, when a funny part of what we were reading made her chuckle (she would let out a “Woopalai!” or “Oiyoiyoiyoiyoi...!” while we sat stone-faced in front of her) and, often, when a particular story, poem, or image moved her to tears. During these emotionally charged times, she would stop, bow her head a little, and say, “it ‘urts my ‘eart.” Needless to say, the gang of clowns to which I belonged latched onto the pensive, lovely phrase like a baby to a teat and used it for EVERYTHING. A girl looks super hot in crazy tight jeans? “Ooh, it ‘urts my ‘eart.” Someone got bagged in dodgeball? “Ouch, it ‘urts my ‘eart.” Someone let out a disgusting fart during gym class? “Ewwuuch, it ‘urts my ‘eart.”

I can appreciate Mme.’s catchphrase now that I’m older. If it didn’t sound so ridiculously faux-French, I would have used it when my son smiled, babbled, or crawled for the first time, when the Ottawa Senators made it to the Stanley Cup Finals last year (despite getting their asses handed to them by Anaheim), and whenever I have listened to Castanets. Ray Raposa and his rotating band of romantics will be breakin’ hearts (definitely) and takin’ names (why not?) starting tomorrow at the SUNY campus in Purchase, New York, just in time for the release of his new album In the Vines on October 23

10.19.07 - Purchase, NY - SUNY Purchase
10.20.07 - Philadelphia, PA - Johnny Brenda’s
10.21.07 - Washington, DC - The Red and Black
10.23.07 - Williamsburg, VA - William and Mary College *
10.24.07 - Chapel Hill, NC - Nightlight
10.25.07 - Montreat, NC - Montreat College
10.26.07 - Athens, GA - The Secret Squirrel
10.28.07 - Lexington, KY - Icehouse
10.27.07 - Knoxville, TN - the Pilot Light
10.29.07 - Chicago, IL - Empty Bottle #
10.30.07 - Grinnell, IA - Bob’s Underground (Grinnell College)
10.31.07 - Indianapolis, IN - The Underground *
11.01.07 - Bloomington, IN - The Cinemat
11.03.07 - Toronto, Ontario - Whippersnapper Gallery
11.07.07 - Portland, ME - Space Gallery
11.08.07 - Somerville, MA - P.A.’s Lounge
11.09.07 - Annandale-on-Hudson, NY - Bard College
11.10.07 - Ithaca, NY - Cornell University
11.11.07 - Lancaster, PA - The Sugar Tank

* Cryptacize

# Tunng

Raposa will release In the Vines thorough the Asthmatic Kitty label. Partly inspired by “a Hindu fable about being trapped in an inescapable fate, with death and he limitations of our physical lives closing in from all corners,” it is safe to day that In the Vines is destined to be another engaging and vital listen. Thankfully “it ‘urts my ‘eart” that the man does not seem capable of disappointing people with his records.

In the Vines:

1. Rain Will Come
2. This Is the Early Game
3. Westbound, Blue
4. Strong Animal
5. Sway
6. The Fields Crack
7. Three Months Paid
8. The Night Is When You Can Not See
9. Sounded like a Train, Wasn’t a Train
10. And the Swimming

RZA Raises Motherfucking Ruckus at Celebrity Chess Tournament; Wu-Tang CANCELS Tour

Fuck the new Wu-Tang album, fuck the new Ghostface album, and fuck the noise regarding the release dates. It's time for RZA to shine! The Hip-Hop Chess Foundation (HHCF) has just announced RZA as the winner of the 1st Annual Chess Kings Invitational Champion Belt. Part of an effort to raise money for the HHCF Education Scholarship Fund, RZA beat out eight other participants, including GZA, Sunspot Jonz (Living Legends), Ralek Gracie, Paris, Amir Sulaiman, and Casual (Hieroglyphics). The final match was between GZA and fellow Wu-Tang member Monk.

Combined, the volunteering artists helped the HHCF raise $10,000 in educational scholarships, which were awarded to the participants from Oakland's Unity High, Youth Uprising, San Francisco's O'Connell High and Muhammad University of Islam. Fucking awesome!

Random chess tip: The best way to play aggressively is start with 1.e4 as white and play an open game. As black, defend 1.e4 with 1....e5 and defend the Ruy Lopez. Against 1.d4 play 1...d5 2. c4 d:c4 the Queen's Gambit Accepted.

UPDATE: Wu-Tang have canceled their upcoming tour!! Ghostface Killah's dates are still on though. Raise the motherfucking ruckus, indeed.

Cat Power Covers Record Tracklist by Helen Schumacher

On Tuesday, Matador Records revealed the tracklisting for Cat Power’s next album, Jukebox, which is slated to be released January 22 of next year. The covers record draws mostly from country and soul artists, such as Lee Clayton and James Brown, but it also features staples of Chan Marshall’s repertoire, like Bob Dylan and Hank Williams. It even has a cover of Creedence Clearwater Revival's “Fortunate Son.”

Interestingly, Marshall covers the theme from New York, New York, which should fit in nicely with the Memphis tone of the album, while the album also includes one new track, the Dylan-inspired “Song for Bobby.”

Unlike 2000’s The Covers Record, which featured bare-bones Chan, The Dirty Delta Blues band plays on the album.

Jukebox tracklisting, with publishing credits and everything:

1. Theme From ‘New York, New York’

Written by Fred Ebb/John Kander, published by EMI Unart Catalog, Inc. (BMI)
2. Metal Heart

Written by Chan Marshall, published by Dormat Music/Mattitude Music (BMI)
3. Ramblin’ (Wo)man

Written by Hank Williams, published by SONY/ATV Acuff Rose Music (BMI)
4. Song To Bobby

Written by Chan Marshall, published by Mattitude Music (BMI)
5. Aretha, Sing One For Me

Written by J Harris/Eugene William, published by Happy Hooker Music/Irving Music (BMI)
6. Lost Someone

Written by James Brown/Bobby Byrd/Lloyd Stallworth, published by Jadar Music Corp. (BMI)
7. I Believe In You

Written by Bob Dylan, published by Special Rider Music (SESAC)
8. Fortunate Son

Written by John Fogerty, published by Jondora Music (BMI)
9. Silver Stallion

Written by Lee Clayton, published by Resaca Music Publishing Co. (BMI)
10. Dark End of the Street

Written by Chips Moman/Dan Penn, published by Screen Gems-EMI Music, Inc. (BMI)
11. Don’t Explain

Written by Arthur Herzog, Jr./Billie Holiday, published by Songs Of Universal, Inc. (BMI)
12. Woman Left Lonely

Written by Spooner Oldham/Dan Penn, published by Embassy Music Corp./Dan Penn Music (BMI)

Simon Joyner + Conor Oberst = BFF4LYFE, Or Touring Buddies

It wouldn’t really be a Bright Eyes tour without a few of Conor Oberst’s friends along for the ride, now would it? Between M. Ward, My Morning Jacket’s Jim James, and Neva Dinova’s Jake Bellows, it seems like Oberst is constantly inviting the same handful of friends on tour with him. Conclusion? The dude needs to branch out his social circle a bit more.

Luckily, fellow Nebraskan folkster, Simon Joyner, wasn’t doing anything and decided to join Oberst and Co. on their upcoming U.S. trek. Sure, Joyner has toured with Bright Eyes multiple times, but hey, when you’re stuck inside a tour bus for months at a time, it’s a little hard to make new friends. In other news, Oberst’s Paxil prescription should kick in any day now.

With Joyner set to open the first half of Bright Eyes’ upcoming tour, Maria Taylor, The Felice Brothers, and Nick Freitas will take over for him starting November 6 in Memphis, TN.

Joyner’s dates are as follows:

There Will Be Music: Jonny Greenwood’s Soundtrack to There Will Be Blood (There Will Be Movie) Coming Soon

I ran to the train today. I don’t like to run, I don’t like to be rushed. I don’t like to humble myself to the schedule of a disgusting can that moves fast. But I did, and as I made my way down the steps onto the platform, I swore, as it passed deeper into the tunnel, leaving me behind. If trains could talk, this one most certainly would’ve laughed, and why not? It sees me every day and must know my feelings on time and schedules and all that. If it were educated, it would most certainly ask me why it should wait, why it should humble itself before me. Trains can’t talk though, and they aren’t educated, and it is times like this, watching them run away into tunnels, that make us all glad they can’t point out our flaws as we can theirs.

So I sat. A man was playing a guitar and singing. I hated this man. Platforms are for people who have places to be, and this man was trying to make money by staying put. I watched my fellow victims of schedules pull out newspapers and books and homework and job-work and phones and headphones and video iPods and music iPods and the usual fare that people occupy themselves with besides experiencing their surroundings. I sat and waited. Stop and smell the roses, a common utterance that has no bearing anymore. Instead, everyone should sit and wait on a train platform and watch and listen to everyone else.

I listened to the man playing guitar, the man I once hated. I mellowed as I listened to it echo through the underground station, bouncing off people and their words. He was great, and I felt like I was hearing something, really hearing something. It’s my new favorite thing, this “found music.” No more packages, no more music as product (though it almost always is when you really think about it) -- just unrecorded, unedited music that you stumble upon. There’s something purer and instantly personal in some odd way when you find it. When I first moved to my new apartment, I opened the windows and found my neighbors’ band practicing. They are awesome, and after hearing them in this messy, muffled, life-filtered way, I almost never want to hear a studio album. I don’t even want to hear them live if it means not stumbling across it from across a field.

The messy things are what grab me these days. I’m reading unpolished writing from my peers (and my own), watching unpolished movies, and now listening to unpolished music, and it just feels that much more honest. Life is messy, why shouldn’t art be? Which makes me all that much more sad to read about Paul Thomas Anderson’s new movie, There Will Be Blood, scored by Radiohead’s Jonny Greenwood. Admittedly, this movie looks fucking good, but until now, Paul Thomas Anderson has been mostly dishonest, rehashing Robert Altman’s work in a very marketable, polished way. I have high hopes for There Will Be Blood, and it is my experience that the personal story, the personal art, is the one that is felt the most by everyone -- the uglier, the more truthful it sometimes can be. Sometimes nothing is more offensive than life, clean.

And as I get ready to see this movie on December 26, backed by J. Greenwood’s efforts released on December 18, I’ll hope that there’s room for something ugly in Hollywood that isn’t the latest mass-market romantic comedy. If not, I’ll keep waiting, because it’s there. It’s out there. I just need to miss my train more often, open my window more often, let life filter out art rather than the other way around.

There Will Be Blood tracklist:

Tara Jane O’Neil to Tour… Just a Lil’ Bit Here and There

Looks like TJO had a little extra time and was feeling like getting out more. What better way to use up that time and leave the house then a quick jaunt around the country? She just has time to stop by Chicago, a little smattering around in the Northwest, a quick jaunt into Canada, and then over to New York, then back to drawing. Those of you living in and/or near these places should go because:

Sometimes she covers The Boss.

Sometimes she has a loop pedal.

Sometimes she reminds me of Neil Young (whose new album just came out). Not sure why though. Maybe it was the hat she was wearing last time I saw her.

Tourdates:

Tied to Terrorism: Chris Walla Claims Innocence, Death Cab Lyrics Beg to Differ

Unfortunately for Death Cab for Cutie lead guitarist Chris Walla, his four-years-in-the-making solo album Field Manual hit a snag on the home stretch. Speaking to MTV, after finishing recording:

"Barsuk Records hired a courier to bring the album back from Canada. And he got to the border and he had all his paperwork, only they turned him away, and they confiscated the drive and gave it to the computer-forensics division of Homeland Security …And now I couldn't even venture a guess as to where it is, or what it's doing there… I don't know if we can hire an attorney. Is there a black-hole attorney? You can't take a black hole to court."

You know who can take a black hole to court? Chuck Norris. In an effort to settle the dispute, I've turned to an impartial source of evidence: the lyrics from Walla's main band. Sure, he didn't write them, but he still could have, at any time, stopped the release of immoral subject matter. But did he? No.

Number of DCFC songs mentioning:

- death: 8
- dismemberment: 5
- things burning: 3
- booze: 11
- Jesus: 0

Not to mention the fact that the "rocks left in both of our shoes" line from "Soul Meets Body" are clearly explosives.

Such incriminating evidence makes me happy that our tax dollars are hard at work catching terrorists working under the guise of independent recording artists. Good job, Homeland Security. I feel a lot safer at night, now that you've stopped this imminent threat to our nation's welfare.

Frog Eyes to Tour Europe; Hooray for Hollywood!

In today’s “Star Talk” feature, four megastars from the critically-adored (really?) and commercial feel-good monster hit of the summer, Ocean's 13 -- George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, and Matt Damon -- show off their human sides as they answer questions from the press about the music they relax with while kicking back at home.

----

Serious journalist: So guys. What kind of music do you find yourselves listening to lately?

Clooney: Tony Bennett. Tony Roma. Tony Robooomba, Tony Toni Toné... Dean Martin, Martin Short, Sinatras, both senior and junior. Hey, did you know that people refer to us as the new “Rat Pack”? Hey Sammy! [shouting at Cheadle] Grab us a couple of Rob Roys, will ya?

Cheadle [muttering under his breath]: Oh shut the fuck up, you ass... you’ll get yours soon enough...

TMT hump (crawling from beneath the makeshift bar wearing underwear overtop of jeans): Hic... Do any of you like Frog Eyes?

Pitt: Frog Eyes? I was getting some of those from a chick at the Paris premiere!

Clooney (grabbing Pitt around the shoulders): Ha, ha, ha, ha... I love this guy! THIS IS THE GUY!

TMT hack (urinating into flowerpot): Um, anyway... Frog Eyes. Yeah, the ass-punching Victoria band will be playing a bunch of shows in Europe.

[Your trusty TMT newsie then passes around a list of Frog Eyes’ European tourdates scribbled out on bar napkins to everyone except Clooney, who recoils and claims to be deathly afraid of catching “averageness” from a “commoner.”]

Damon: Great. I may just check one of those shows out if I’m around. I really liked their last album Tears of the Valedictorian (TMT Review).

Cheadle: Yes, thanks for the head’s up. I’ve been a Frog Eyes fan since for years and just picked up the expanded reissues of The Golden River and The Bloody Hand. They are a wonderful live band.

Pitt: Why can’t everybody just bumble be, instead of bumble do?

Clooney: Yes! Yes! YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

[Damon and Cheadle look puzzled and uncomfortable. Pitt sits with an idiotic grin like he just won the Nobel Prize for “Quips.” Clooney is collapsed and convulsing in a pool of drool.]

Serious journalist: How has George been to work with since his big Oscar win.

Damon [jovially]: Well, he's been a bit more of a taskmaster since he won that Oscar -- he, he....

Clooney [shooting daggers at Damon]: WELL, AT LEAST I’VE WON ONE FOR MY ACTING... WHAT HAVE YOU EVER DONE YOU PIECE OF PISS?!?!

Pitt [pretends to strip]: “Yikes, it's getting hott in herre... so take off all my clothes....”

Clooney: You are gold, my friend. Gold! Where's Sammy with a song and dance when I need one!? Get over here “Candyman!”

[Cheadle takes out revolver, blows away Clooney, pistol-whips Pitt, leaves the press conference, and walks into the moonlight holding Damon’s hand. They share a kiss as E.T. and Elliott fly overhead on a BMX.]

Tours of the Valedictorians:

* Deerhunter

Hyperdub Sets Release Date For Burial’s Sophmore LP, Untrue, and The Crowd Goes Wild

Burial's music has been compared to everyone from Massive Attack (the forthcoming album Untrue was described as a "Blue Lines for the '00s") to Joy Division, as seen in K-Punk and TMT's own glowing five-star review of his first, self-titled effort. Both Wire and The Guardian voted the anonymous producer's debut as the number one album of the year in 2006, and it's considered to be the flagship album of the entire dubstep movement, which has since born much fruit and expanded globally in the 18 months since Burial's first album was previewed on BBC Radio 1's Mary Anne Hobbes show.

It now occurs to me that there is absolutely no way to cover this story objectively and without sounding like a total fanboy, so here are a few links regarding anticipation for the album, as well as a Mary Anne Hobbes quote from her intro to Kode 9's preview mix of Untrue, broadcast late Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning on Radio One (an irritatingly short 15-minute tease -- killer marketing, of course):

- Link 1 - Link 2 - Link 3

- "...This mix is a work of art in itself. I have to say I think it's the most wonderful mosaic of sound I've ever heard in my whole life, it doesn't even sound like it was made on this Earth, it could be a transmission from a star in a galaxy far far away... and I don't know about you, but this excites senses deep in my soul that I didn't even know I had, and it makes me feel like I'm falling in love with music at a completely different and way deeper level."

You can listen to the show, provided you allow Real Player to be installed on your computer, through Radio One's website.

Untrue is being released via Hyperdub in the UK November 5; shoppers outside of Britain can head to any one of the five online retailers listed at the very bottom of Hyperdub's website to pay money for the following 13 tracks: