Have you ever noticed how The Polyphonic Spree are engineering a career trajectory for themselves that resembles nothing more than a manic-depressive single mom from some Midwestern suburb? They arrive in the neighborhood in 2002 with a big batch o' home-baked cookies for everyone, The Beginning Stages Of... and a huuuge grin on their faces, and isn't it such a great day? The kind of day that makes you really happy to be alive, the kind of day that makes you want to sing to the birds and the trees? And everyone's all welcoming and stuff, and oh, aren't they the sweetest, and isn't that album great, but they all think that if they just, y'know, toned it down a little they wouldn't be so damned creepy.
So then they get dropped from 679, and oh well, got to soldier on, don't you? Life's like that, but if you just take some time to smell the flowers once every so often, you'll realize things aren't that bad at all. So they get some new clothes and release Together We're Heavy on Hollywood. Their neighbors all nod and smile, but they can't deny that it's all looking a little desperate. And it's really sad. All they ever wanted to do was make a few people happy. If only they could be a little less creepy.
And now it's 2007. They've been dropped from Hollywood, and presumably at some point in the last year, they cracked, and there was a huge gin-fueled meltdown where they slumped in the corner of their friend's kitchen and in great heaving sobs complained how nothing ever goes right for them, and what's wrong with wanting to be nice to people every once in a while, and they think they're getting fat, and nobody likes them and they're stupid and fat and ugly, and the neighbor did all they could and put them to bed with a glass of water.
What I'm trying to say is, The Polyphonic Spree are back, and they've gone way past creepy into fucking terrifying. Forget the robes -- now they're all dressed up in military fucking fatigues, fatigues with hearts and crosses sewn on, as if that makes them look jolly and friendly and not, y'know, Waco survivors.
They've signed on to TVT Records, and their first release on the label, The Fragile Army, is due to drop in June. I'd buy it, if I were you. If only so that Tim DeLaughter doesn't firebomb your home in a fit of righteous zeal. I'd look out for him. You seen pictures of him recently? He's got this look in his eyes, the look of a stone-dead killer. If you crossed him, he'd probably drive a pen through your eyeball in a split second.
The Fragile Army (or, The Final Document In A Slow And Harrowing Descent Into Utter Insanity):
Elvis Costello has either given up on his childish protest Radio Radio and has decided to soak up the riches of being a rock star, or maybe he is looking to fight the big dogs of Viacom and Clear Channel this spring with a mini-tour. Let us assume the former, right? I mean, every photo I’ve seen of him for the past umpteen years has involved a fedora, suit, and varying patterns of ties over varying patterns of button ups. The man has money. And I didn’t want to admit this, ya dig? Remember ’77? I sure do. A little of Less than Zero, and then he turns around a la Hendrix on the BBC and tells the Attractions and the Saturday Night Live crowd and most importantly the Man that he ain’t going out in chains. He’s going to play Radio Radio dammit! But alas, I’ve lost track of myself. And so has Elvis it seems. Mr. Fedora and square glasses will be playing with The Imposters this time around. Most likely in support of Elvis’ cover of Little Boxes from the show Weeds. But whatever, I mean (some of my friends sit around every evening and they worry about the times ahead, but everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference and the promise of an early bed). Don’t sweat it; here are the dates:
Elvis Costello - 2007 Tourdates:
The National Recording Preservation Act of 2000 is definitely in my top five Acts of all time, trailing closely behind the Flood Control Act of 1944, the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882, Act V of Hamlet, and ActRaiser for the SNES. This more recent Act places responsibility on the hallowed Library of Congress to choose select recordings each year that are at least a decade old and are "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." While most official selections of "significant music" are endlessly nausea-inducing (oh if only I could be in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame!), the Library of Congress and its resident social pariahs know their shit. Just last year, they chose albums by Gil Scott-Heron, Jerry Lee Lewis, Frank Zappa, and Sonic Youth. Along with traditional "album" recordings, they induct other wacky stuff, like the sound of an old foghorn used in Kewaunee, Wisconsin! Librarians: I demand a mixtape.
This year they've chosen a similarly boppin' crew. Jelly Roll Morton, Cole Porter, Carl Perkins, The Rolling Stones, Sam Cooke, Paul Simon, and The Velvet Underground all get to rub shoulders with the likes of, FDR and, um, Bob Newhart. In total they've decided on 25 recordings, one of which is a finger-snappin' ditty I like to call the 1924 National Defense Test. Thus far, there have been 225 entries in the Registry.
Nominations for the 2007 list are currently being accepted here. Together, friends, we can preserve Mariah Carey's seminal '94 Merry Christmas for our children and for our children's children.
It took months for me to see the light. I steadfastly avoided Sub Pop's (São) paulistano sextet Cansei De Ser Sexy for reasons of perceived hokiness and novelty. Of course, I was way off-base as usual. You have to be a quadri-miser-asshole of the highest order (I'm thinking along the lines of a Hitler/Steve Jobs/Ty Cobb/Ebenezer Scrooge mix here) to not get CSS, or to not at least break a smile and some dancefloor sweat when you hear those synth-propelled, racy electro riddims. I was planning on submitting one of my standard dullard stories for the upcoming CSS Euro/North American tours but was then surprised and more than a little hot and bothered when lead screamer Lovefoxxx herself (or most absolutely someone posing as Ms. 'Foxxx) sent me this to post; how could I say no?
Call me on over so you can take me for a wink wink,
I turn the tables and quickly strap you to the sink, sink.
Take all your cash then to the airport on time,
Catch the first flight to Europe, order Stolis with lime.
Get off on the plane, confiscatin' my sexxx toys,
Seven Irish dates makes us feel like The Waterboys.
All over Europe we'll be shakin' our thangs,
Gonna knock out your guts so you suffer from stomach pangs.
Cra-zy cra-zy cra-zy! Wha the fuss? No foolin'.
Spaniards and Frenchmen, it's your brains we'll be unspooling.
Soaking wet crowds make me open like the halls of Big Ben,
It's tough luck to know I am lovin' up so many men.
Beats come so hard you'll think that you're pissed,
Spitting green chunks like that chick from The Exorcist.
Grab hold of the microphone, I'm screaming your name,
Ten pints of beer makes me feel that you're all the same.
Skinny boys all over us insisting they're well-hung,
Knock them all down with a lick from my sharp tongue.
We end in San Fran-disco for some mad love NoisePop slop,
Then I'll hop on you quick like I'm hop-hoppin' on top-top.
Untie you quick just to keep you off your feet,
Sitting on the floor, face buried in my Mini-Wheat ("Frosted!").
I hurts my heart to have to mess with your mind,
This kind of loving means I'm cruel to be super-kind.
By the smile on your face I know I'm not mean,
CSS is so hot that you cream in your blue jeans.
I leave knowing well that my job here is done,
I leave knowing well that my job here is never done.
'Cause Cansei De Ser Sexy is a force that won't stop,
As pert, perky, perfect as a smooth, sexxxy lollipop.
C'mon! How is a poor newsy going to compete with that? Some of the dates below (particularly the Euro ones) are with Tilly and the Wall and Ratatat. I'm not sure which ones though
04.01.07 - Helsinki, Finland - Tavastia Club
04.03.07 - Porto, Portugal - Casa Da Musica, Sala 2
04.04.07 - Lisbon, Portugal - Club Lux
04.05.07 - Madrid, Spain - Sala Carocol
04.06.07 - Barcelona, Spain - Razzmatazz
04.07.07 - Marmande, France - Festival Garorock
04.09.07 - Brussels, Belgium - Botanique
04.10.07 - Amsterdam, Netherlands - Paradiso
04.11.07 - Cologne, Germany - Gebaude 9
04.12.07 - Berlin, Germany - Maria
04.13.07 - Vienna, Austria - Flex
04.15.07 - Milan, Italy - Magazzini Generali
04.16.07 - Rome, Italy - Circolo Degli Artisti
04.18.07 - Paris, France - Élysée Montmartre
04.20.07 - Cork, Rep. of Ireland - Savoy
04.21.07 - Dublin, Rep. of Ireland - Ambassador Theatre
04.22.07 - London, England - Astoria
04.23.07 - London, England - Astoria
04.24.07 - Manchester, England - The Ritz
04.25.07 - Edinburgh, Scotland - The Liquid Room, Triptych Festival
04.26.07 - Glasgow, Scotland - Barrowlands, Triptych Festival
04.29.07 - Indio, CA - Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival
05.10.07 - Carlow, Rep. of Ireland - The Music Factory
05.11.07 - Dublin, Rep. of Ireland - Trinity College
05.12.07 - Belfast, N. Ireland - Mandela Hall
05.13.07 - Limerick, Rep. of Ireland - Dolan's Warehouse
05.17.07 - Brighton, England - Great Escape Festival
06.01.07 - New York, NY - Irving Plaza
06.02.07 - Cambridge, MA - Middle East
06.03.07 - Montréal, Quebec - La Tulipe
06.04.07 - Toronto, Ontario - The Horseshoe
06.06.07 - Vancouver, British Columbia - Richard's on Richards
06.07.07 - Seattle, WA - Neumos
06.08.07 - Portland, OR - Doug Fir Lounge
06.09.07 - San Francisco, CA - Noise Pop, Mezzanine
07.07.07 - Kinross, Scotland - T in the Park Festival
07.08.07 - Naas, Rep. of Ireland - Oxegen Festival
There are several mysteries on earth that man may never know the answer to. Riddles that need solving, problems that need solutions, puzzles that need, er, jigsaw-ing — that kind of thing. But who are we as mere mortals to expect everything to be placed on our lap like a dinner-time napkin? It’s just not how life works... some things are meant to remain a mystery.
For example, what’s the difference between an Arby’s Melt and an Arby’s Beef ’n’ Cheddar? They both have beef, both are lavishly topped with cheese that should by all rights be plopped on a nacho, both are housed comfortably by a bread-based bun. Questions like this have haunted man for centuries; you could spend your entire life knocking your brains out, or you could just accept that you don’t know everything... but man, what is the difference? And why do tortilla chips have to be a snack and not a meal, you know? I don’t understand stuff like that...
Many people were equally confounded when I put Our Brother The Native’s debut album, Tooth and Claw, wayyyyyyyy up high on my 2006 Top-25 list. “What are you thinking, you fool, you blasphemist, you conjurer of messy roast beast!” they said. “Go back to the indie cave from whenst you came and take your beefy cheddars and large curlies with you. You... you disgust me. [whispering] Oh, and could I bum a few curlies before you hit the road?”
My reasoning? Well, I think it’s a great album. It stirred the juices of inspiration in me like only a superior piece of art (or a superior order of curlies) can. When I heard it for the first time, I stood up in the middle of my sprawling workplace and yelled, “My life now starts ANEW! Things are going to be different for me from now on!! You! Yes you, with the purple shirt, GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE!! You with the arched eyebrows, FLUFF MY SEAT CUSHION! THAT’S RIGHT, REALLY KNEAD THAT SHIT!!! I’ll be back to rule some more after my two-hour lunch break. BE AFRAID!”
And that was about it. I might have also used my super-powers to manipulate the weather, thus causing a huge indoor hurricane, but I don’t really remember. I was pretty tired that day. Speaking of tired, Our Brother The Native aren’t tired at all. In fact, they’ve completed their sophomore [pronounced ‘Soph-OOOO-Meuvre] album for FatCat Records, to be entitled Make Ammends, for We are Merely Vessels. They’ve even planned a short beef ’n’ cheddar, I mean, tour, for March. Well how about that, a tour! Some real go-getters, they are.
[I think it has to do with the size/persuasion of the bun, the weight of the roast beef, and the mandatory use of special sauce]:
Oh no! It’s Ono. (Yeah, that’s the news story title. Do I want to rewrite it? No, why? It’s too short? Well, it’s not as short as your weenie. Burn!)
When she is not busy pissing off residents of Liverpool for covering the city with posters of a woman's breast and vulva during its 2004 biennial celebration or blocking the latest Lennon documentary, Three Days in the Life, from being screened publicly, Yoko Ono is releasing a lot of music. Exactly why Ono has been embraced so warmly in 2007 after years of indignation and outright hatred is anyone's guess, but it is happening.
Important artist or hanger-on? Honest primal vocalist or a bowel obstruction set to music? No one polarizes people quite like Yoko does, and for that reason alone, we love her. [For the record, why would anyone want the old and tired Beatles of 1970 to soldier on when you could have the often-brilliant post-Beatles output by all four members, especially in the early 1970s? Bah! Give me any of Plastic Ono Band, Imagine, Ram, Band on the Run, All Things Must Pass, Living in the Material World, or Beaucoups de Blues over another Let It Be any day (Sorry Ringo, only one from you, just like your vocal contributions to The Beatles albums!). There. Rant over.]
Where was I? Oh, Yoko! After the widely-applauded release of her guest interpretive/collaborative album Yes, I'm a Witch in February, the 74-year-old, conceptual and performance artist, filmmaker, feminist, activist, humanitarian, mother, ex-wife, ex-collaborator of John Cage and Ornette Coleman, ex-Fluxus member, and ex-junkie will see a remix album of her work released on April 24 by "the home of uncompromising music" (read: Astralwerks). The tracklist contains mixes by some well-known giants in the electro, futuristic, gyration scene like Pet Shop Boys, Basement Jaxx, and Felix Da Housecat, and others that are less famous (at least to this close-minded, dance dance ignoration news writer).
Open your mouth, open your legs, open your wallet, open your ears. Randomly play CD and record an excerpt onto a slice of scotch tape, then send it to a stranger you've known for years (note found in Nadelle's forgotten Fluxus Box #4):
1. "You're the One" - Bimbo Jones Main Mix
2. "Everyman Everywoman" - Basement Jaxx Classic Mix
3. "Walking on Thin Ice" - Felix Da Housecat's Tribute Mix
4. "Hell in Paradise" - Peter Rauhofer Reconstruction Mix
5. "Give Me Something" - Morel's Pink Noise Vocal Mix
6. "Walking on Thin Ice" - Pet Shop Boys Electro Mix
7. "I Don't Know Why" - Sapphirecut Mix
8. "Ying Yang" - Orange Factory Down & Dirty Mix
Number9, number9, number9. "Will I" - John Creamer & Stephen K Mix
10. "Everyman Everywoman" - Murk Space Mix
11. "Kiss Kiss Kiss" - Superchumbo Main Mix
12. "Open Your Box" - Orange Factory Club Mix
13. "Walking on Thin Ice - "Danny Tenaglia Walked Across the Lake Mix
14. "Give Peace a Chance" - DJ Dan Vocal Mix
Victoriaville, Quebec. It is a quaint blip lying on the Nicolet River, the Trans Canada Highway, and Canadian National Railway. It is about a hundred miles northeast of Montréal and 72 miles south of Québec City. It is famous for its hardwood. Originally a settlement known as Demersville, the city changed its name to honor Queen Victoria in 1861 (I am guessing much to the distress of the town's French-speaking majority). It is regularly referred to as the "arsehole of Quebec" by a friend of mine, but I know this is primarily because he got his ass dumped by a girl from ‘Victo.' As a lumber-heavy mill town, Victoriaville is definitely most famous for the hockey sticks that bear the town's name. I switched my stick allegiance many years ago to Sherwood 5030s after planting the blade of my Victoriaville in a sidewalk crack while playing road hockey and bagging myself something terrible in the process.
For our purposes at TMT, the city's royal name will only be spoken in conjunction with the "musique actuelle" festival it hosts every year, namely, The Festival International de Musique Actuelle de Victoriaville. Priding itself on booking and presenting "modern" music in the very best sense of the word, this is the 24th edition and once again features visceral international inventors, composers, and installers alongside neo-classical heavyweights alongside noisy sound wrestlers alongside musique-concrete manipulators alongside non-traditional sound sculptors alongside, well, you get the picture, right? Additionally, Victoriaville loves introducing "world" or North American premieres of ensembles and shows and gets off on giving the spotlight to many artists before others catch up and are forced to. There is no downside I can think of; there's no reason why you shouldn't take a trip north to visit the economic capital of the "Bois-Franc" region of Quebec from May 17-21, despite what my bitter friend says.
Here's the lineup so far: Anthony Braxton 12(+1)-tet, John Zorn (solo), Acid Mothers Gong, Marilyn Crispell/Lotte Anker/Andrew Cyrille/Mark Helias, Corkestra, Jean-François Laporte, Michael Snowith Alan Licht/Aki Onda, Theresa Transistor, Melvins, Koenji Hyakkei, "Signal Quintet" (Jason Kahn/Tomas Korber/Norbert Möslang/Günter Müller/Christian Weber), Victoriaville Matière Sonore, Larry Peacock, Carla Bozulich, Magik Markers, Quasar/Alexandre Burton/Julien Roy, Anthony Braxton Diamond Curtain Wall Trio, Fine Kwiatkowski/Hans Tammen, John Tilbury/Stevie Wishart/Christof Kurzmann/Werner Dafeldecker, Fond of Tigers, Joane Hétu, Kevin Blechdom/Eugene Chadbourne, Daniel Menche, and Keiji Haino/Merzbow.
[Rustling of paper, a hand raking over face, sound of metal tapping glass table, two heavy snorts, licking of plastic bag]
WOAH, what the hell happened there? Sorry about that, folks; I was doing some crystal meth in my breakfast nook, and when I returned to my computer, I passed out. I woke up, peeled my bare torso from the seat of my pleather computer chair like a fruit roll-up from its wrapper and found this idiotic poem on my desktop. So sorry about that! Hey, speaking of wrappers, Brother Ali is a pretty good one. He doesn’t have the patented burp that locks in freshness, but he DOES have a secret weapon: twist-ties. You don’t need one of those trendy, blog-approved freshness seals when you’ve got a corral of twist-ties! They do the trick every time, from the backstreets to Blackstreet.
Another thing... in my blackout-induced haze, I realized Brother Ali isn’t taking the steps necessary to get famous in the rap game. First off, he needs to get shot a few times. Last time I checked, you had to have at LEAST 24 bullet holes in your torso to deserve a major-label contract. And where’s the "dancin’ bitches"? I saw this special on MTV and it said you HAVE to have "dancin’ bitches" in your videos to win the game. Hear that Brother? And not having a Martha Stewart-produced track is the nail in the coffin; look, you can spend your time writing seamless albums if you want, but only a M-to-the-Stewart shout-out will land you in a limo with Luda or a sitcom with Ice-T. Then she’ll make guest appearances in your videos and maybe sign you to her vanity imprint. Then she'll get hella-jealous of you and have you rubbed out. Then she'll write a tribute song to your sorry, dead ass. Hey, it’s all about survival. Thought you knew that.
Brother Ali's Undisputed Truth is set for an April 10 release through Rhymesayers.
Look for jiggling flesh at the following tourdates:
04.10.07 - Duluth, MN - Pizza Luce
04.11.07 - Fargo, ND - House of Rock
04.12.07 - Mankato, MN - What's Up Lounge
04.13.07 - Iowa City, IA - Picador
04.14.07 - Omaha, NE - Sokol Underground
04.16.07 - Aspen, CO - Belly Up
04.17.07 - Boulder, CO - Fox Theatre
04.19.07 - Menomonie, WI - University of Wisconsin
04.20.07 - Madison, WI - High Noon Saloon
04.21.07 - Chicago, IL - Subterranean
04.22.07 - Bloomington, IN - Bluebird
04.23.07 - St. Louis, MO - Washington University
04.24.07 - Louisville, KY - Uncle Pleasants
04.25.07 - Ann Arbor, MI - Blind Pig
04.27.07 - Indio, CA - Coachella Festival
04.28.07 - Columbus, OH - Skully's Music Diner
04.29.07 - Cleveland, OH - Grog Shop
05.01.07 - Burlington, VT - Higher Ground Lounge
05.02.07 - Boston, MA - Middle East
05.03.07 - New York, NY - Knitting Factory
05.04.07 - Philadelphia, PA - The Church
05.05.07 - Baltimore, MD - Ottobar
05.06.07 - Charlottesville, VA - Starr Hill
05.08.07 - Carrboro, NC - Cats Cradle
05.09.07 - Wilmington, NC - Soapbox
05.10.07 - Mt Pleasant, SC - Village Tavern
05.11.07 - Orlando, FL - The Social
05.12.07 - Atlanta, GA - Drunken Unicorn
05.14.07 - Birmingham, AL - The Nick
05.15.07 - New Orleans, LA - Parish - HOB
05.16.07 - Austin, TX - Emos Lounge
05.17.07 - Albuquerque, NM - Launchpad
05.18.07 - Tucson, AZ - Club Congress
05.19.07 - Flagstaff, AZ - Orpheum
05.21.07 - Pomona, CA - Glasshouse
05.22.07 - San Diego, CA - Belly Up
05.23.07 - Los Angeles, CA - Troubadour
05.24.07 - San Luis Obispo, CA - Downtown Brew
05.25.07 - San Francisco, CA - Slims
05.26.07 - Reno, NV - New Oasis
05.29.07 - Eugene, OR - WOW Hall
05.30.07 - Portland, OR - Hawthorne Theatre
05.31.07 - Seattle, WA - Vera Project
06.01.07 - Bellingham, WA - Night Light
06.02.07 - Missoula, MT - The Loft
06.04.07 - Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge
06.05.07 - Denver, CO - Bluebird Theatre
06.06.07 - Kansas City, KS - Record Bar
06.07.07 - Des Moines, IA - Vaudeville Mews
06.08.07 - Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue (Homecoming Show!)
Ween Play Jazzfest Concert Series in New Orleans, But Julia Sweeney’s “Pat” Character Won’t Be Joining
When you hear the words "jazz fest," you may associate it with "Rib Fest." Possibly the same thing sometimes, but you can't cancel out the odds of an unexpected amazing act to play one of these festivals. No, I'm not talking about Hootie and the Blowfish, Big Head Todd and the Monsters, or Spin Doctors. This year, Gene and Dean Ween (and the other guys) will be hitting up the 2007 "Superfly during Jazzfest" concert series in New Orleans provided by Superfly Productions. The events start from Saturday, April 28 through Saturday, May 5 at various New Orleans venues, including the Contemporary Arts Center and the Riverboat Cajun Queen. The "Superfly during Jazzfest" concert series started in 1997, and since then it has been the foundation for iconic national events like Bonnaroo Music, Arts Festival and Vegoose. Spanning ten days over several venues, this is one jazz fest that you probably should check out. You can get tickets by visiting www.superflypresents.com.
The Superfly at Jazzfest 2007 lineup is below:
Saturday, April 28
Riverboat Cajun Queen
Friday, May 4
Riverboat Cajun Queen
Friday, May 4
With the Dirty Dozen Brass Band
Contemporary Arts Center
Saturday, May 5
GovÂ¹t Mule / Dr. JohnÂ¹s Night Tripper
Contemporary Arts Center
Saturday, May 5
North Mississippi Allstars
Riverboat Cajun Queen
Furthermore, this lousy TMT reporter believes that the reign of Ween will be returning sooner than you can shout Chocolate & Cheese. Since my predictions are usually 100% on, you better hurry and get your copy of Ween's film debut, It's Pat. Yeah, remember that androgynous character named Pat from early-90s Saturday Night Live, played by Julia Sweeney? If you remember that, you probably are already a fan and own a copy of the timeless classic that was an instant SNL-film-based-on-a-character bomb. When I first saw Pat rock out with Ween, I felt the rise of Ween in my jeans, and I knew someday they would have an even greater following. And I also knew they would play the "Superfly during Jazzfest" concert series on Friday, May 4 in 2007 with the Dirty Dozen Brass Band at the Contemporary Arts Center in New Orleans, LA. Is it really possible to foresee the future from watching SNL films? The answer is yes; stop being stupid.
Something Pat didn't know, aside from whether he or she had a winky or a twinky, was that Ween is currently readying their new album and prepping for a memorable set at Bonnaroo! According to their website, Ween are in the studio recording everyday at a rented farmhouse. You can check this message out and view pictures from the studio by going to this handy dandy link here.
No, I'm just kidding, I mean here.
Ween scheduled shows:
03.29.07 - Falls Church, VA - The State Theatre (Gene Ween solo show)
04.30.07 - Ashevillie, NC - The Thomas Wolfe Auditorium
05.01.07 - Birmingham, AL - Alabama Theatre
05.03.07 - Oxford, MS - The Library
05.04.07 - New Orleans, LA - Contemporary Arts Center
06.16.07 - Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo Festival
The Blood Brothers scare me. They remind me of those kids in middle school who painted their fingernails black with permanent marker and then sniffed the markers a whole bunch and got detention for starting mosh pits in the hallway after becoming, uh, stimulated. To be fair, the Blood Brothers are much more fashionable than those kids were, in that they appear to stay far away from parachute pants.
The well-dressed (read: terrifying) Brothers are coming fresh off a tour of Europe, where I’m sure they learned lots of naughty new words. They’ll be spreading their newfound knowledge across the unsuspecting U.S. and Maple Syrup/Bears/ReasonableDrinkingAge Land in support of their new album, Young Machetes this month, so ready your virgin ears.
Or you know, go. If you’re BLOOD enough: