Iron & Wine Extend Tour, Stick Aforementioned Tour in Obscene Places, and They Don’t Even Bother Usi

A better writer on a more serious music website would likely write a couple brilliant sentences about Sam Beam's beard (We get it. It's big!). A better writer would give a thorough synopsis into the history of Iron & Wine. A better writer would go on and on about the recently released The Shepherd's Dog and the recent European tour.

A better writer would give you facts, and not a buttload of misleading information. A better writer would be objective and unbiased. A better writer would show a sense of maturity and pride in his work. A better writer would bend over backwards for everyone in the music industry.

Emceegreg is not that writer. Emceegreg sees headlines like "Iron & Wine Extend Tour" and automatically thinks of erected phalluses. Emceegreg thinks about a greased-up, scantily clad Sam Beam caressing the folks in Tucson, AZ. Emceegreg often has dreams about Beam naked as he came, if you know what I mean. Emceegreg knows for a fact that Beam is not quiet in bed. Emceegreg has no shame.

Emceegreg is also unaware that his homoerotic stories are at times immature and offensive, but he thinks it's okay because he has one black friend.

Current tourdates:

Deerhunter to Star in Upcoming Film The NeverEnding Tour, Starts Today

Deer Dearhunter,

We here at Warner Bros. Pictures have noticed that you've recently taken a liking to poorly written, shitty prose. We are also aware of the purported pedophiliac posts you've been producing. Based on the quality of your recent work, the studio would like to offer the members of your performing troupe the unique opportunity of starring in the exciting new film, The NeverEnding Story IV: Bux in Narnia.

Due to recent budgetary cuts, the studio will not be able to offer any monetary compensation for any services rendered. Actors will also be required to provide their own wardrobe. However, the set will be fully catered and principle actors will each receive life-size Atreyu cut-outs, as well as a commemorative Auryn medallion cast in .999 silver culled from the mines of Silver City.

In the hope of a swift response,

Richard Parsons

Deerhunter's NeverEnding story continues tonight in Austria. The November date in Dresden will be prefaced by lunch with Wolfgang Peterson.

CAKE and The Sea and Cake to Tour Separately, As They’re Completely Unrelated

While it may be confusing for many to see schedules for both CAKE and The Sea and Cake posted this month, distinguishing them as separate entities is really quite easy.

For instance, CAKE are an alt-rock band formed in 1991 in Sacramento, CA. They have six albums, the latest of which is B-Sides and Rarities released earlier this month and comes packaged in a variety of scratch-n-sniff covers correlating to color: red/fresh cut roses, yellow/banana, brown/leather, green/fresh cut grass, and purple/grape. While touring in support of their latest B-Sides release, CAKE is also working on a live album entitled Live at the Crystal Palace, to be released some time this autumn.

The Sea and Cake are not.

In contrast, The Sea and Cake were formed in 1993 in Chicago. Just yesterday, while riding the bus, I tried to put my finger on their influences, but all I could nail was The Kinks, which puts them squarely in the "pop-rock" category. Hm. Their first full-length release in four years, Everybody (TMT Review), was released back in May, with a full 16-page booklet of liner notes and a set of three photo card insets. Everybody is presented as the band's seventh release to date, yet the first produced by someone besides Sea and Cake drummer John McEntire. While they probably switched producers in hopes of creating an entirely new sound that would re-interest the public in their work and earn them renown as "dynamic and experimental leaders of American pop," they instead proved their consistency by creating a work that sounds exactly like every other album they've released.

As should be apparent at this point, the word 'cake' is really all the two groups have in common. But, since cake (the food) is so delightful, it tends to blot out any meaning from the words around it. Thus "cake" is all we see or care about in "The Sea and Cake," and when it appears in all capitals as "CAKE," an ineffable sensation wells up from our very being, manifesting itself as a glassy-eyed grin on our round, little faces.

May this clarification inspire you to attend one or more of the following tours:

The Sea and Cake- 2007 tourdates:

Extra Golden Detained by Police for “Not Carrying Enough Money”

On their way to the Vienna airport for the Stop Spot Festival in Linz scheduled this weekend, the Kenyan members of Extra Golden (Opiyo Bilongo, Onyango Wuod Omari, and Onyango Jagwasi) were detained by Parisian police for, according to their publicist, "not carrying enough money."

Despite having the proper visas and documentation, officials apparently didn't believe these three members were actually invited to play the festival. They were subsequently interrogated for "several hours." It took involvement with the Austrian and French embassies before the Stop Spot promoters were able to finally get the band back on a plane to Vienna.

I wonder if the white guys in Extra Golden (Alex and Ian) had any trouble arriving.

Anyway, despite this, the Stop Spot Festival will still take place this weekend and features an array of exciting artists, including Daniel Higgs, Peeesseye, Zu (they rule), and many others. Do check out Extra Golden's latest release for Thrill Jockey, Hera Ma Nono, and be sure to carry enough money on your next plane trip.

Xiu Xiu Release Details of New LP; How Can I get a Real Hot WF to Fart On My Face?

See, we told you it was coming! What Mango didn't tell you, aside from some story about his boner, were the details of the release.

On January 29, Kill Rock Stars will release Xiu Xiu's latest full-length album, Women As Lovers. The 14-track album will largely consist of sounds from the live Xiu Xiu lineup (Jamie Stewart, Caralee McElroy, Ches Smith on drums, and Devin Hoff on bass), while one track, "Under Pressure," features the ever incorrigible, often mischievous, downright sexy Michael Gira, head dude of label Young God and The Angels of Light (latest album: We Are Him - TMT Review). Deerhoof's John Dieterich is on there somewhere too.

Additionally, the press release about Xiu Xiu's new album contains two quotes from Elfriede Jelinek, author of a book by the same title, Women As Lovers. According to internet biographies, Jelinek is an Austrian novelist, who has won a Nobel Prize in Literature laureate for her "musical flow of voices and counter-voices in novels and plays that with extraordinary linguistic zeal reveal the absurdity of society's clichés and their subjugating power."

Here's how Publishers Weekly described her book:

This brief, pitiless novel advances such a narrow, bleak vision of the human race that one wonders why its author, who apparently finds everything pointless, saw the point in writing it. In oddly punctuated, repetitive prose reminiscent of Gertrude Stein's but lacking Stein's energetic compassion, Jelinek's (Lust and The Piano Teacher) latest doesn't have much good to say about love or marriage or sex or babies. And for Paula and Brigette, these are the only escapes from a life -- if one can call it a life -- of sewing bras in a factory in the mountains of Austria. It's hard to imagine even the pretense of love in a marriage to a drunken lout like Erich, the rotting apple of his sad, miserable parents' eye, or to fat and stupid Heinz. What shallow, covetous creatures women are, is what Jelinek seems to say. It doesn't matter if they don't enjoy sex; they don't deserve it, and anyway, someday we'll all be dead.

I can't help but think of Xiu Xiu as I read through that.

Elfriede Jelinek seems very intriguing, her book sounds fantastic, and I can't fucking wait to hear the album! I'm officially excited.


1. I do what i want when i want
2. In lust you can hear the axe fall
3. F.T.W.
4. No friend oh!
5. Guantanamo canto
6. Under pressure (feat. Michael Gira)
7. Black keyboard
8. Master of the bump (Kurt Stumbaugh, i can feel the soil falling over my head)
9. You are pregnant, you are dead
10. The leash
11. Child at arms
12. Puff and bunny
13. White nerd
14. Gayle lynn

Boys on Film: Interpol Release Live DVD as Part of Our Love to Admire Reissue

Interpol’s latest album, this summer’s Our Love to Admire (TMT Review), will soon be reissued with the added incentive of an extra special DVD! The new and improved album/DVD combo comes out November 19 and features live footage of “The Heinrich Manoeuvre,” “Slow Hands,” “Narc,” “Pioneer,” “Mammoth,” and “Evil” plus music videos for “No I in Threesome” and “The Heinrich Manoeuvre.”

Some of you might be saying “Hold on! So, this album came out a few months ago, and it’s already being reissued? That’s too much, too soon!” Well, I see what you’re getting at, but let’s pause for a moment and consider why this reissue might be occurring. Are Interpol running out of money for fancy tailored suits? Feeling inspired by YouTube phenomena like Tay Zonday or the “Why Must I Cry?” dude? Maybe they’re just hellbent on annoying fans who already bought the album in July? All of these are likely answers, but I’ve got a hunch that it’s something different completely. Now, this is just a guess, but I think it would be safe to assume that Interpol are putting out this DVD in an effort to launch their primetime TV drama careers.

Stay with me here. The way I see it, Interpol frequently do lengthy stints on the road, a band that spends countless nights in Holiday Inns and Best Westerns across the country, watching cable TV, and collecting free soap. They’ve been doing the music thing for awhile, and perhaps they’re feeling like it’s time for a change. It’s no secret that Carlos D. has been writing film scores, and I’d venture a guess that maybe once or twice he even imagined himself and his band cohorts starring in the type of serial drama that focuses on men in suits. There are so many possibilities. Just think — Paul Banks and the boys unraveling alien conspiracies against the will of a skeptical government, performing maverick medical procedures that fly in the face of the establishment, cracking cold cases that more orthodox cops won’t touch.

Sure, right now it’s just a live DVD, but tomorrow? CSI: Brooklyn.

What’s Better Than Dumb & Dumber 3? The Coming Live Earth: The Concerts for a Climate in Crisis CD & DVD!

“Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?”

Live Earth CD:

1. "Hey You," Madonna
2. "Times Like These," Foo Fighters
3. "Driven To Tears," the Police
4. "Gravity," John Mayer
5. "Another Brick In The Wall Part II," Roger Waters
6. "Bleed It Out," Linkin Park
7. "Bedshaped," Keane
8. "Wanted Dead Or Alive," Bon Jovi
9. "Wisemen," James Blunt
10. "Black Hole Sun," Chris Cornell
11. "Are You Gonna Go My Way," Lenny Kravitz
12. "Intergalactic," Beastie Boys
13. "Suddenly I See," KT Tunstall
14. "Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)," Corinne Bailey Rae & John Legend
15. "Que Sera, Sera," Damien Rice & David Gray

Live Earth DVD 1:

1. "Live Earth: London Opening," SOS Allstars
2. "Invisible Touch," Genesis
3. "Shut Your Eyes," Snow Patrol
4. "Que Sera, Sera," Damien Rice & David Gray
5. "Suddenly I See," KT Tunstall
6. "My Blue Heaven," Taking Back Sunday
7. "What A Wonderful World," Paolo Nutini
8. "Where Is The Love," Black Eyed Peas
9. "Planet Earth," Duran Duran
10. "Miss Murder," AFI
11. "Gravity," John Mayer
12. "Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)," Corinne Bailey Rae & John Legend
13. "Bedshaped," Keane
14. "Sad But True," Metallica
15. "I Need To Wake Up," Melissa Etheridge
16. "Too Much," Dave Matthews Band
17. "Sober," Kelly Clarkson
18. "Tumba," Angelique Kidjo
19. "Right To Be Wrong," Joss Stone
20. "Wisemen," James Blunt
21. "Intergalactic," Beastie Boys

Live Earth DVD 2:

1. "Gimme Shelter," Keith Urban & Alicia Keys
2. "Bailamos," Enrique Iglesias
3. "Steer," Missy Higgins
4. "Woman," Wolfmother
5. "Black Hole Sun," Chris Cornell
6. "Wanted Dead Or Alive," Bon Jovi
7. "Are You Gonna Go My Way," Lenny Kravitz
8. "United States," Smashing Pumpkins
9. "Another Brick In The Wall Part II," Roger Waters
10. "Driven To Tears," The Police
11. "Better Be Home Soon," Crowded House
12. "Umbrella," Rihanna
13. "Bleed It Out," Linkin Park
14. "Times Like These," Foo Fighters
15. "La Isla Bonita," Madonna featuring Gogol Bordello

Warner Bros. is issuing the CD/2DVD set November 20 with proceeds going to aid the Alliance for Climate Protection. The digital version of the album will be available November 6 and comes with the added “bonus” of John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World To Change” for those purchasing the set from iTunes.

Domer Announces Mind-Blowingly Awesome “Open-Source” EP Project

So you've just bought an album, say The Backstreet Boys' classic Millenium. You're sitting on your bed thinking "Man, these guys are SICK, but I think the album would be better if the lyrics from 'Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely' were laid over the beats of 'I Want It That Way,' and that the whole thing was in a different order." Sure, you keep listening, but deep down inside, you know world peace might come to fruition if only you could mix those tracks yourself.

Perhaps as a child, indie-electro-hip hop artist Domer felt the same way about Millenium. And perhaps that's what inspired him to create the potentially fantastic My Favorite EP.

Here's the deal: Domer recorded the lyrics for the EP's five tracks over a metronome with no beat, and he's asked those with an ear for music -- and you, refined TMT reader, certainly have one of those -- to create their own backing tracks for the songs and send back the finished project by the end of October. The vocals are available here as MP3 files or here as WAVs.

(Really?) Yes, really, and it gets better. (No, it can't get better, can it?) Oh yes, it most certainly can.

Once participants have sent in their creations, Domer will post the finished versions for download. Fans can pick their favorites, leaving the specific songs and order of the EP up to each listener to decide for themselves. And, of course, Domer wants everyone to send him their personal Favorite EP.

"I wanted to blur the line between artist and listener," he says. "The direction of the album is in everyone's hands but mine and will continue to be till the project is over. It's cool because it really gets people involved in the process." True that, Domer, true that.

How awesome is this? I would say pretty fucking awesome.

If You Give A Beach A House She’ll Just Ask For Another Album, Add UK Tour

Comin' at you LIVE from downtown Hollywood with slightly stale news on the latest from Baltimore wunderkind duo Beach House. Surely you remember their debut album from last year, a collection of chopped and
screwed Yo La Tengo remixes? Well, they've finally acquired the rights to a couple more YLT songs and they've got a sizable dollop of Vaseline to smear all over the finished product, so the go ahead for second album's production is now, now, now! That slab of wax will be available in the cool early morning of February 26 in the year of our Lord 2008, via Carpark Records.

Devotion is its name, which according to the cover art implies a devotion to eating a full cake in one sitting among two waifish musicians. The tracklist can be perused forthwith:

Now back to you, Mango Starr.

The Family Stone lures Sly to BB King’s With Promise of Hot Wings, Coke…

That's cocaine folks.

But no matter how they get him there, The Brooklyn Vegan is reporting that funk's groundhog will once again come out of hiding for a reunion show December 7 at the B.B. King Blues Club and Grill in New York City.

Don't book your flights just yet. So far, December 7 remains blank on the club's show calendar, and the person I talked to at B.B. King knew nothing about it. And given Sly's track record of not showing up, leaving early, and basically seeming confused at all times, travelers may want to wait on some solid info before booking that Fantasy Sly & The Family Stone Second Honeymoon package. Or (and this is my plan) go ahead and buy those nonrefundable tickets for a whole weekend in New York -- Friday, Saturday, and Sunday -- and you won't care if Sly shows up Friday or not.

Now, I know Sly & The Family Stone revolutionized socially conscious, porridge-thick funk and panty-peeling, date-capping slow jams. And it would be incredible if Sly held it together until December AND actually got up on stage and performed an entire show.

But, if he flakes out, you had the foresight to buy tickets for the entire weekend and you can still catch THREE SETS OF........... AIR SUPPLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hell. Yes. Air Supply actually is on B.B . King's show schedule and booked for 8 PM and 10 PM December 8, and 8 PM December 9. Thank your travel agent, thank me, thank Sly's comeback show rumor for tipping you to these hot shows, but you'll be thanking God during all three of those "All Out of Love" encores.

Since your entire weekend will be centered around the B.B. King Blues Club and Grill, you'll probably have a least a couple meals at the adjacent Lucille's Grill restaurant. Here is what I'd order based entirely on looking at a PDF of the menu online:

Appetizer: artisanal cheese selection

Entree: whole Florida red snapper with a lemon/thyme infusion

Dessert: warm pecan pie with chantilly cream