“Everyone On This Ship Is A Goddamned Liar”

Yeahhhhhhh. Put on a slab of unidentifiable static chaos like “Everyone On This Ship Is A Goddamn Liar” and react to its twists in structure like you would a particularly surreal high school romance anime. With nothing familiar to cling onto, assaulted by barrages of looped feedback and garbed vocal samples, the plot springs from the relation between each clashed passage. This man wants to take you on a journey, and there’s no guarantee it will be pleasant.

You enter the gymnasium and find the girl or boy or android you like (like, “like” like) is making out (like, really getting there all sloppy) with a firm bag of sand. Your loved one goes all tongue-core, and the bag of sand seems to reciprocate.

When the Spanish teacher calls on you to read the third paragraph of Borges’s “Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius” aloud to the class, a clump of hair falls off of your head and onto the pages. You wipe it aside and more falls out. You ask to be excused, but have run out of passes.

You sneak up onto the rooftop for a cigarette and come face to face with a wild boar. He asks if he can bum one too. You sit, stroking his haunches and face area, as the two of you puff some death into your lungs. When you both finish your sticks, he throttles you.

Faangface (aka Cleveland-based multi-instrumentalist and Rubber City Noise co-honcho Joshua Novak) hands you the materials to construct any story you please, with the caveat of mandatory debasement. The story must be fucked. Everyone on this ship is a goddamn liar, but it could be much worse. I’ll take a human liar over a truthful lizard person any day.

• Faangface: https://soundcloud.com/joshua-novak



Using a stand-in pictured above (along with a stand-in for QT) at last Friday’s RAY-BAN X BOILER ROOM 005 event, SOPHIE destroyed everything in her wake. Yeah, you had OPN up there fucking around with sounds beforehand and Hudson Mohawke showing up 45 minutes after his introduction (by Eric Wareheim), with more technical hitches for him and Eclair Fifi. But the Chocolate Grinder ALWAYS has your best interest in mind, and we’ve found SOPHIE’s set on a straight bootleg-style recording below! So, if it ain’t my fellow writer Ariel snuffing on a bit of SOPHIE, I’ll try and do my best to fulfill. Listen for the sample of an older GFOTY track at 20:35. Scope:

• SOPHIE: http://msmsmsm.com
• PC Music: http://pcmusic.info
• Numbers: http://nmbrs.net


moomoo vol​.​1

Oh, so you enjoy music, huh? Well, me-oh-my, do I have something for you. yyu — human being and human doing — recently doled out a little babe of beauty called moomoo vol​.​1 via his Bandcamp, which is the best news I’ve heard in a bit. Rich strings (and even a flute) wiggle around in delayed remembrance, all bookended by crickets and moonlight. These tracks exhale quick breaths, letting cuts of silence bring your mind back from thinking too much about ventilation. Or, if you hate your body, they’re kinda like enclosing lightning bugs between your palms, then slowing opening your clasped hands, letting glimmers of light from the finger-caged critters shine through. Oh wait, I guess that’s still about your body. Well, at least your holding lightning in your hand in that scenario. Enlightening.

• yyu: https://soundcloud.com/yyu


“Footsie Work”

I love when producers reappropriate some really clear, really intense grime vocal and pair it with a synth that could just as easily soundtrack some medieval fantasy film. The new production fills out Footsie’s vocals while still highlighting the beat. It’s definitely a party, and though that party might look more like a six-year old’s princess party, it’s definitely still turnt. The fact that Deadboy makes a fantasy about working full-time in music is what’s the real hook, though. It’s subversive and wonderfully sly for him to reimagine the working-more-than-nine-to-five-at-the-thing-you-love fantasy as fairy tale.

• Deadboy: https://soundcloud.com/deadboy

Gem Jones

Admiral Frenchkiss

Fuck pop. Not like “Fuck Pop, man!” but maybe #fuckpop and “maaaaaaaan.” French-kissing in a cloth-top at Ectomorphic Lover’s Point, flipping the A-side back upward after the click, and watching (Name)ville burn under a purple sky. I’m all about “God in U” personally. Slow-dancing in the gym, bugged out on whatever-the-hell was in the punch, and tryna’ figure out if it’s your date in front of you or the pole of the basketball hoop. Were the school colors always shades of psychedelic green and purple? This sssick-to-my-stomach feels like a kiss-to-my-brain, and my organs are screaming like Sunday morning mass. One-two step, one-two step, and dip a little deeper toward the hardwood, still lacquered thick from basketball season. The whole place is huffing fumes as the floor starts to melt.

“Sorry things got a bit weird last night, baby. I was tryna keep up with Mr. Jones, but that dude really knows how to party.” Admiral Frenchkiss is out now on Goaty Tapes! [Editor’s note: This is one of the VERY BEST tapes that’s crawled out this year, and a shame if you ain’t got it yet!]

• Gem Jones: http://gemjonesia.bandcamp.com
• Goaty Tapes: http://goatytapes.com



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CHOCOLATE GRINDER is our audio/visual section, with an emphasis on the lesser heard and lesser known. We aim to dig deep, but we'll post any song or video we find interesting, big or small.